冷笑话精选:
中二高中生们的日常……
哈哈哈哈一个个都是戏精![允悲]
tROCarkY
[In the second high school students daily... < br > ha ha ha ha are fine play! [allow sad] < br > tROCarkY]
毒舌嘴贱会吐槽,颜正腿长一米八,八块腹肌的冷哥就是我!
#百度网盘五周年#爱豆报报—景甜发来贺电,让美好所不在[心][心] tROCXyUm
[# # to mark the fifth anniversary of baidu network backup sweet bean to quote - scene congratulation, let beautiful is [heart] [heart] tROCXyUm]
百度网盘是百度公司推出的一款云服务产品。通过百度网盘,您可以将照片、文档、音乐、通讯录等数据在各类设备中备份和管理,亿用户的选择,亿用户的信任!世界很复杂,百度更懂你。官方微信公众号:百度网盘新浪新闻客户端:
想必以后也是练跆拳道的好苗子[笑cry]
[Surely is also a good prospect of taekwondo practice after [laugh cry]]
只想做一只人见人爱的客户端东方航空:
#出行提示# 即日起,杭州萧山国际机场国内、国际航班值机柜台关闭时间调整为航班计划离港时间前分钟,请您务必预留足够时间到机场办理值机手续。给您带来不便,敬请谅解。
[Travel tip # # from now on, both domestic and international flights from hangzhou xiaoshan international airport check-in counter closing time is adjusted for minutes before the scheduled flight departure time, please be sure to set aside enough time to the airport check-in formalities. Bring you inconvenience, please understanding. ]
中国东方航空集团公司总部位于上海,是我国三大国有骨干航空运输集团之一。年,以原东航集团公司为主体,在兼并原中国西北航空公司、联合原云南航空公司的基础上组建而成中国东方航空集团公司。经过数年的调整优化和资源整合,东航集团已基本形成以民航客货运输服务为主,通用航空、航空食品、进出口、金融期货、传媒广告、旅游票务、机场投资等业务为辅的航空运输集成服务体系。汽车之家:
刚读了一遍,现在话都不会说了
[Just read it again, words cant speak now]
汽车之家为广大汽车消费者提供买车、用车、养车及与汽车生活相关的全程服务,以全面、专业、可信赖、高互动性的内容,多层次、多维度地影响最广泛的汽车消费者,是中国最具价值的互联网汽车营销平台。优酷:
#爸爸去哪儿# jasper耳朵太萌了,这不是大耳朵图图嘛[笑cry] 超级可爱[羞嗒嗒]
[# # where dad jasper ear too meng, this is not a big ears Desmond tutu [laugh cry] super cute [shame clicking]]
小浪同学爱吐槽:
【胎儿一脚“踢”破妈妈子宫 医生手术保母子平安】近日,深圳一位怀孕周的孕妇,因上腹部剧痛被送入了医院。B超检查后才知其子宫竟被胎儿踹破,胎儿一条腿已进入腹腔,被子宫壁死死卡住!然而这一切却并非偶然↓↓医生提醒做过这样的手术最好恢复一年以上再怀孕[吃惊]↓↓tROCiJp
[The fetus a foot kick to break the mother uterus surgery doctor confirmed both doing well recently, shenzhen a pregnant weeks pregnant women, because of the upper abdomen pain was taken to the hospital. B ultrasonic examination knows the uterus was the kick to break the fetus, fetal one leg has been into the abdominal cavity, be uterine wall was stuck! But all this is no accident that left left the doctor remind underwent such surgery best return more than one year [surprised] left left tROCiJp pregnant again]
曾用名@新浪news,国事家事天下事,事事关心。微博汽车:
从《英伦对决》看成龙这些年影片中开过的车,与大哥结缘的都是它们~
[From the British versus see Jackie chans film driven a car in recent years, with the eldest brother affinity is ~]
这个官微有意思,有车没车不重要,带你装逼带你飞MIUI:
【MIUI开发版上线“魔法消除”功能,从此和路人甲说再见!】MIUI快如闪电,今日新增“魔法消除”功能,可对照片中的杂物、杂线进行快速抹除,即便从不修图PS,简单几步就可调校出专业级摄影作品。目前该功能在#MIUI#最新开发版上线,欢迎升级体验!更多详情戳图↓
转发微博,抽送一台小米Note 。
[【 beautiful MIUI development version online magic to eliminate function, and stranger a say goodbye from now on!] As quick as lightning, beautiful MIUI todays new magic to eliminate function, can be quickly to the clutter in the photo, miscellaneous line erased, even never figure PS, simple steps can set-up a professional photography. At present this feature in the latest development version # MIUI# online, welcome to upgrade experience! Poke figure left for more details < br > < br > forwarding microblogging, pumping a millet Note. ]
MIUI米柚,基于Android深度定制,坚持每周升级持续进化,成为你离不开的贴心伙伴!猫扑:
【凌晨点偷东西,凌晨点救了个落水姑娘,这个小伙该如何评价?[思考]】月日早上,杭州的周先生报案说车里的块钱被偷了。民警调了监控发现,日凌晨点,三个小伙子骑车路过,发现周先生的车没锁,于是一人进车里翻,两人“放风”,偷了钱。到了凌晨四点,三个小伙子却在上塘河附近救了一个落...全文: m.weibo
[The points in the morning, stealing points in the morning to save a drowning girl, the young how to evaluation? [thinking]] on Monday morning, Mr Zhou reported in hangzhou of dollars in the car was stolen. Adjust the police monitoring found that early points, three young man passing by bike and found Mr Zhous car didnt lock, so a man into the car, two people fresh air, stole the money. At four o clock in the morning, but three young man saved a fall in the pond near the river... The full text m. eibo]
猫扑网唯一指定官方微博。私信开放投稿、爆料。商务合作:qq:汽车之家:
#家家新闻##大众尚酷#【德国不再接受订单 大众尚酷或正式停产】日前海外媒体报道称,大众旗下尚酷车型在海外已经不再接受订单,这说明这款产品或已经正式停产,根据此前大众的规划,尚酷将不会推出后继车型。tROCxh
[# every news # # # Volkswagen scirocco [Germany no longer accept the order Mass is cool or formal production, overseas media reported that the vw group is cool abroad is no longer accept orders, this shows that the product or already officially discontinued, according to the planning for the public, it is cool will not launch a successor. tROCxh]
汽车之家为广大汽车消费者提供买车、用车、养车及与汽车生活相关的全程服务,以全面、专业、可信赖、高互动性的内容,多层次、多维度地影响最广泛的汽车消费者,是中国最具价值的互联网汽车营销平台。猫扑:
哈哈哈哈哈哈隔@TangYuan明明是海 成人就应该有个成人的解题样@难道什么都不叫:课@黑夜Y不再来下海??.
[Ha ha ha ha ha ha @ TangYuan isolation was sea adult should have a sample @ in solving problems is what all dont call class @ Y is no longer the night sea?? .]
猫扑网唯一指定官方微博。私信开放投稿、爆料。商务合作:qq:南方都市报:
【广州妇儿医疗中心有了快递机器人,能说话会送药[心]】“请注意了,我要出发了”,“请注意了,我要上电梯了”……今后去广州市妇女儿童医疗中心,你会发现一台样子萌萌的,说话奶声奶气的机器人在穿梭、前进。他叫“诺亚”,能说话,能自己上电梯,还能运送公斤重的货物到指定的科室,是个“超级...全文: m.weibo
[The guangzhou childrens medical center has the express robot, can speak will send medicine [heart]] please note, Im going to set off, please note, I have to take the elevator up... To the guangzhou women and children health care center in the future, you will find a way of sprouting, speak milk milk gas robot in the shuttle, forward. His name is Noah, can speak, can oneself on the elevator, can also transport kg goods to the designated department, is a super... The full text m. eibo]
欢迎关注南方都市报官方微博猫扑:
这个小学二年级的题目,你们能快速做出来吗?[二哈]
[The topic of the second grade, you can quickly make? [two ha]]
猫扑网唯一指定官方微博。私信开放投稿、爆料。商务合作:qq:小浪同学爱吐槽:
【尴尬!有了热感摄像机 再也没人敢偷偷放屁了[二哈]】你有在公共场合偷偷放过屁吗?在国外,有人用“热感摄像机”拍下人们放屁时的样子...“热感摄像机”对物体的温度很敏感,能用不同颜色显示出拍摄对象的热量散发效果...不过照片也是满屏尴尬了↓↓tROCceZq
[[embarrassed! There is a thermal camera No one dared to secretly fart anymore ha] [two] you have secretly let fart in public? In foreign countries, some people use the thermal camera filmed people the same as when you fart... The thermal camera is sensitive to the temperature of the object, can use different color shows the subject of heat dissipation effect... But photo is full screen left left tROCceZq embarrassment]
曾用名@新浪news,国事家事天下事,事事关心。优酷:
#爸爸去哪儿# 为我嗯哼的少女辫打call ![舔屏]
[# # where dad borders play call for my girl uh huh! [lick screen]]
新浪汽车:
#车圈话题#别人......大二......男朋友是......开玛莎拉蒂的@M鹿M ,你们......呢[doge]
[# circle topic # others... Sophomore year... Boyfriend is... Open maserati deer @ M M, you... [doge]?]
最新鲜的汽车资讯;
最快速的新车报道;
最全面的车型数据;
最及时的车型报价;
最丰富的汽车活动。BORGHESE-贝佳斯:
.oz(g)小巧容量,将美肌体验装进口袋;精致流线型设计,全新贝佳斯金色LOGO,尽显女性天然之美。全新焕装的绿泥、白泥,贝粉们喜欢吗?
[Oz (g) small capacity, will be beautiful muscle experience in your pocket; Delicate and streamlined design, new borghese golden LOGO, all show female natural beauty. New haun of chlorite, white clay, the fans like it? ]
Borghese贝佳斯品牌源自意大利,品牌设计灵感及故事亦建基于此。二次世界大战之后,La Dolce Vita为意大利注入创意与活力,把意大利塑造成世界灵感摇篮。于“永恒之城”罗马居住的贝佳斯家族是意大利的名门望族,远至文艺复兴时期,贝佳斯家族在罗马已有极具影响力, 家族显赫包括公爵、皇子、皇族、政治家、教皇等位高权重的人物,于罗马向负盛名。当时意大利并未出现尊贵护肤品牌,所以贝佳斯皇妃(Princess Marcella Borghese)决定以意大利独一无二的天然资源 - 矿物温泉- 为建立护肤品牌的灵感源头,打造意大利成为顶尖美肤皇国。于六十多年的发展历程中,BORGHESE贝佳斯始终如一,致力贯彻推动天然健康美肤理念,倡导奢宠自我、探索质美生活,让现代女性在姣好的容颜中保持高贵精致的姿态。汽车之家:
#家家技术讲堂##蔚来#【未来座舱长啥样 聊蔚来车和家的供应商】供应商试图走向前台的野心已不是秘密,他们希望能够让更多的人看到自己对汽车行业发展的贡献。如果说主机厂是理念的发起者,那么,作为供应商便可视为理念的实践者,蔚来、车和家甚至新发布的拜腾品牌,这些搅局者都在展示他们基于未来座...全文: m.weibo
[# # # # every technology schoolroom wei to the cockpit looks like in the future Talking about wei to car and home suppliers 】 suppliers trying to to the front desk has made no secret of ambition, they hope to let more people see their contribution to the development of the auto industry. If the same is the sponsor of the idea, so, as the concept of suppliers can be seen as practitioners, wei to worship, car and home, and even released teng brand, all these spoiler in display based on their future... The full text m. eibo]
汽车之家为广大汽车消费者提供买车、用车、养车及与汽车生活相关的全程服务,以全面、专业、可信赖、高互动性的内容,多层次、多维度地影响最广泛的汽车消费者,是中国最具价值的互联网汽车营销平台。小浪同学爱吐槽:
【男子被猫抓伤没在意,数月后脑萎缩死亡…[衰]】年春节期间,岁的罗某逗猫玩,一时疏忽被猫爪划破了皮肤...但他当时没上心;近期罗某突然出现反应迟钝、四直发抖等症状,起先家人还以为是人上了岁数才致此,直到后期罗某陷入昏迷...↓↓tROCqhOX
[The cat had scratched the man didnt care about, a few months back atrophy death... [failure]] years during the Spring Festival, luo at the age of playing with a cat, cut a slip-up on cats paw skin... But he wasnt keen; Recent luo suddenly appear the symptom such as slow, four shuddered, at first thought it was a family man to grow older cause this, until the late luo into a coma... Left left tROCqhOX]
曾用名@新浪news,国事家事天下事,事事关心。金山夜话博主:
#金山夜话# 听友:我有个男室友,纯友谊。有次跟一个几年没联系的之前玩的很好的同学联系上了,然后经常叫她来我家完,然后跟同学约定以后一起上班一起生活,我带她成长,因为她是工厂上班的,而我是做电商运营的,社会经验比她丰富许多。可是后来她跟我男室友互相看对眼他们恋爱了,然后同学搬过来跟...全文: m.weibo
[# # jinshan night listening to a friend I have a male roommate, pure friendship. Have time to contact a few years didnt play very good classmates contact before, and then often told her to come to my house to finish, then live with classmate after agreed to work together, I took her to grow, because she is a factory to work, and I am doing electrical business operations, rich social experience than her. But then she told me male roommate look cross-eyed they love each other, and then students moved with... The full text m. eibo]
首届中国广电“台帝”,《金山夜话》主持人,记者,作家,著名情感问题专家冷笑话精选:
“我们不一样”合辑!
哈哈哈哈单身狗到底做错了什么?[允悲]
tROCbudV
[We dont like collection! < br > single dog ha ha ha ha what do wrong? [allow sad] < br > tROCbudV]
毒舌嘴贱会吐槽,颜正腿长一米八,八块腹肌的冷哥就是我!优酷:
#真港剧反黑# 敲黑板!喜欢和支持#最美便利店小姐姐# 宋羽@陈雅婷_Jo 的宝宝们看这里,今天中午-小羽做客优酷星球星驾到,想和小姐姐愉快聊天吗?来来来[来][来]tROKJTTs [舔屏] tROKJTTF
[# the black # on the blackboard Hong Kong dramas. Love and support # # best convenience store little sister Song Yu @ ya-ting Chen _Jo babies look here, at noon today, kohanes optimal cool star girl, want to chat with little sister happy? Come to [to] [to] tROKJTTs tROKJTTF [lick screen]]
新沐sunshine:
@赵薇北京影迷会#赵薇巴黎,你爱上哪一个她?# #赵薇巴黎时装周# 百变美薇[心]
[@ # zhao wei zhao wei Beijing fans club in Paris, which one do you fall in love with her? # # # zhao Paris fashion week changed the eu [heart]]
凡心所向,素履所往,生如逆旅,一苇以航新浪汽车:
开车喜欢手动挡的赞我!
[Drive like manual praise me!!!!!!!]
最新鲜的汽车资讯;
最快速的新车报道;
最全面的车型数据;
最及时的车型报价;
最丰富的汽车活动。猫扑:
不知道为什么,说起拿喇叭表白,我脑子里想起的是这两位 tROCyUfC
[Dont know why, speaking of horn, my mind think of is that the two tROCyUfC]
猫扑网唯一指定官方微博。私信开放投稿、爆料。商务合作:qq:小浪同学爱吐槽:
【个小伙凌晨点偷东西 点救落水姑娘...[思考]】近日,杭州的周先生报警称车里块钱被偷。监控显示,凌晨有个小伙子路过,发现车没锁,便把钱偷走了↓↓而一个小时后,他们在附近又碰到落水的姑娘,丝毫不含糊,将其救起↓↓看过这样有反差的实拍↓↓你有什么感想呢?tROCyDg
[【 a guy stealing points am save the drowning girl... [thinking]] recently, Mr Zhou alarm in hangzhou called dollars in the car was stolen. Monitoring showed that there was a young man passing by in the morning, and found it didnt lock, then stole money left left but an hour later, they met again in near drowning girl, no unambiguous, the rescued the left left seen such a contrast to film left left and what is your feeling? tROCyDg]
曾用名@新浪news,国事家事天下事,事事关心。玩转instagram:
这就是你努力的意义。
[The significance of this is your effort. ]
带你玩转最美妙最有趣的instagram~(品牌合作请私信,提供简介,谢谢!)但斌:
转:年月日周五读报!一切美好从❤️
、年,中国二次元核心用户将超过万,二次元群体的总数将超过亿,且%以上是后和后。业内人士表示,国漫真正的春天是在到年之间,会迎来第一波的春天。(CCTV)
、央企效益创历史之最:前三季度利润总额破万亿!中央企业前三季度累...全文: m.weibo
[Turn on Friday, the newspaper! All good from ❤ ️ < br >, years, Chinas second core users will be more than million yuan, the second group will be more than the sum of the number of the hundred million yuan, and % above is after and after. The personage inside course of study says, the real spring is between the years, will usher in the first wave of spring. (CCTV) < br > < br >, record the state benefit in the first three quarters of profit total break trillions! The central enterprises in the first three quarters of tired... The full text m. eibo]
一个普通、真诚、热爱生活的人猫扑:
【要火!大一男生拿喇叭爆笑表白:好看的皮囊我没有,有趣的灵魂就是我[doge]】月日,河南郑州,@河南机电职业学院 一名大一男生拿着大喇叭冲进心仪女生的教室,站在讲台上向女生表白,全程爆笑:好看的皮囊我没有,有趣的灵魂就是我[笑cry]结果,女生被吓到捂脸逃跑![允悲]#男生拿喇叭爆笑表白# ...全文: m.weibo
[【 to fire! Do male freshmen with the horn joke I did not have a good skin, my soul is interesting [doge]] month day, henan zhengzhou, @ henan mechanical and electrical vocational college a freshman boy holding a big trumpet rushed into the right girl in the classroom, standing on the platform to the girl, the entire joke I did not have a good skin, interesting is my soul [laugh cry] as a result, the girl was terrified wu face run away! [allow sad] # boy take speakers do joke #... The full text m. eibo]
猫扑网唯一指定官方微博。私信开放投稿、爆料。商务合作:qq:一块去旅行:
山谷的秋天。
[Valley of autumn. ]
我们的征途是星辰大海,愿做你旅程中的灯塔,一路照亮你前行。合作QQ:汽车之家:
#家家新闻##汽车销量排行榜#【年月国内热销SUV轿车MPV排行榜】日前,中国汽车工业协会正式发布了年月的全国汽车工业报告,其中年月的国内热销SUV、轿车、MPV车型的排行榜也被公布出来。那么在年月里,每种车型的销量到底如何,我们一同走进这一期的销量风云榜文章了解详情。...全文: m.weibo
[# auto sales list every news # # # years best-selling domestic SUV car MPV ranking 】 【 a few days ago, the China association of automobile manufacturers has officially released the works of the national automobile industry report, including monthly domestic popular SUV, cars, MPV models list has been released. In years, sales of each model how, we went into this months sales prominent article for details. ... The full text m. eibo]
汽车之家为广大汽车消费者提供买车、用车、养车及与汽车生活相关的全程服务,以全面、专业、可信赖、高互动性的内容,多层次、多维度地影响最广泛的汽车消费者,是中国最具价值的互联网汽车营销平台。小浪同学爱吐槽:
【有一天我会踏着七彩祥云嫁给他[心]】日,江西庐山姑娘蔡添把庐山交通索道当作自己的“婚车”,和新郎一起穿梭在庐山云海里,场面浪漫↓↓据悉,以前景区内的居民下山只能坐车,走完多个弯道要近小时;如今庐山交通索道建成,上下山只需分钟↓↓tROCwraR
[【 one day I will tread seven colourful xiangyun marry him [heart]], jiangxi girl CAI add put lushan mountain cableway transportation as a car, together with the groom shuttle in lushan mountain in the sea of clouds, left left the scene romance to prospect the inhabitants of the mountain by car, only in the area through multiple curves to nearly hours; To climb the mountain lushan mountain cableway transportation now built, only minutes left left tROCwraR down]
曾用名@新浪news,国事家事天下事,事事关心。南方都市报:
【胡润富豪榜:许家印身家一年翻四倍首次登顶】日,胡润富豪榜发布,中国恒大许家印财富超过阿里马云、腾讯马化腾,以亿首次登顶中国首富。胡润榜前首富王健林降至第五。此次榜单中也诞生了第一位白手起家的“后”首富——ofo创始人戴威。广东是最多上榜企业家设立企业总部的地区,有...全文: m.weibo
[【 hurun rich list Mr Worth four times in a year for the first time the top 】, hurun rich list, China Evergrande slot wealth than ali ma, ma huateng of tencent, with top for the first time Chinas richest man. Hurun list of richest man Mr Wang fell to fifth. The list also gave birth to the first self-made after the richest man - ofo Dai Wei founder. Guangdong is the area that most entrepreneurs set up headquarters, there are... The full text m. eibo]
欢迎关注南方都市报官方微博小浪同学爱吐槽:
【公交车内国歌响起 海归小伙立刻起立致意】日,郑州一辆公交车上,一位乘客在观看的小视频播放出了国歌,旁边座位上一位小伙听到后立刻放下手机,起立致意↓↓有乘客好奇询问缘由,小伙子称,自己刚从这个国家回来↓↓出去了才知道国外跟中国没法比[good]tROCzDnb
[National anthem in the bus Returnees guy standing ovation 】 immediately, zhengzhou on a bus, a passenger on the watch video playing the national anthem, the seat next to a guy heard immediately after put down phone, left left passengers are curious about why a standing ovation, the young man said, he just came back from the country left left out just know cant with China than abroad tROCzDnb [good]]
曾用名@新浪news,国事家事天下事,事事关心。
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