冷笑话精选:
自制嗑瓜子机!
分分钟就能嗑出瓜子肉来……[二哈]
tRWMWlS
[Homemade into hard seeds machine! < br > points minutes to the melon seeds meat... [two ha] < br > tRWMWlS]
毒舌嘴贱会吐槽,颜正腿长一米八,八块腹肌的冷哥就是我!
【独家资源!起草组成员教你看懂十九大报告】中国特色社会主义进入新时代,新在哪?新思想引领新时代,具有什么样的历史意义?新时代的新目标是什么?新征程该如何起航?十九大报告起草组成员为您独家揭秘。BY央视网 tRWIBi
[The exclusive resources! Eventually members teach you read 】 in the report to socialism with Chinese characteristics into a new era, new? New ideas to lead a new era, with what kind of history? What is the new target of the new era? New journey how to sail? The th report eventually members to an exclusive sneak peek at you. BY CCTV net tRWIBi]
新闻热线: 工作沟通、广告合作请联系微信:Alex小野妹子学吐槽:
爱吃芹菜香菜,不喜欢胡萝卜@追风少年刘全有没一个都是我的命门[拜拜]@鞭鞭于白水一度以为芹菜香菜是一种菜@颜文字君我发现自己真的不挑食´_>`@叶秋池_VIVA铘喜欢喜欢喜欢@千你个大绪_一般 一般 厌恶
[Love to eat celery, parsley, dont like carrots @ zhuifeng juvenile quan-you liu didnt a is my curse [bynum] @ whip lash in the whitewater thought celery, parsley is the kind of food @ performing word jun I discovered that I really dont piddle ´ _ > ` @ Ye Qiuchi _VIVA Ye like like like @ thousand you a big mio _ in general average]
图文多转自日文推特,附以无责任吐槽。关注后易节操丧失、下限消亡、性向逆转、生理失调。微博汽车:
【最牛“酒驾”!男子酒后去考科目三 被取消考试资格】月日,广东何某因驾考快晚点,花了多块打车去考试,但却被工作人员拦下,拒绝其参加考试。原来,何某身上一股酒味,询问得知,他和同事前夜喝酒到考试凌晨,最终他放弃考试。网友:这还没拿驾照呢![笑cry][允悲]
[The best drunken driving! Man is drunk to take an examination of course three exam qualification] month day, guangdong He Mou because driving fast late, spent more than take a taxi to the exam, but was stopped by staff and reject its for the exam. Originally, a wine He Mou, asking that he and his colleagues on the eve of the drink to the test in the morning, in the end he gave up his exam. Net friend it doesnt take a drivers license! [laughing cry] [allow sad]]
这个官微有意思,有车没车不重要,带你装逼带你飞优酷:
#大片起来嗨#@马思纯 @撒贝宁 管闲事二人组上线!服装音乐,有事的地方就有他们~@演员丁川 衣服商标太多,被怼。键盘老师节奏不对,被怼。这么“古道热肠”也是没谁了~#电视剧将军在上# tRWMRHMz
[# large up hi # @ Sandra @ sa beining interfering duo online! Clothing music, fine them wherever they are ~ @ actor Ding Chuan clothing trademarks is too much, be Dui. Keyboard teacher rhythm is wrong, be Dui. So warm-hearted who also didnt ~ # # general TV series in the tRWMRHMz]
一块去旅行:
香港 |每个拥挤角落都在上演平凡故事。
[Hong Kong | every crowded corner on ordinary story. ]
我们的征途是星辰大海,愿做你旅程中的灯塔,一路照亮你前行。合作QQ:汽车之家:
#家家选车导购##WEY VV#【年轻有“WEY” 后聊WEY VV 超豪型】年转眼只剩最后一个季度,九零后聊车系列也迎来了第十四期。从第一期开始的九个月当中我和徐老师体验过国产车、进口车、轿车、SUV等各类车型,而今天要尝试的这辆车居然给自己开拓了一个全新分类—中国品牌高端车—即WEY VV。它想...全文: m.weibo
[# every car ride # # WEY VV# [young have a chat after the WEY WEY VV type super] years only in the final quarter in an instant, rates after car series also ushered in the period of . From the first period of nine months I and xu teachers experienced domestic cars and imported cars, cars, suvs and other kinds of models, and want to try this car today is to develop a new classification - Chinese brand high-end car - namely the WEY VV. Think of it... The full text m. eibo]
汽车之家为广大汽车消费者提供买车、用车、养车及与汽车生活相关的全程服务,以全面、专业、可信赖、高互动性的内容,多层次、多维度地影响最广泛的汽车消费者,是中国最具价值的互联网汽车营销平台。新浪汽车:
#出行生活#【老外穷游中国遇困高速 看交警机智交流】江西高速交警在巡逻时,发现两名来自俄罗斯的驴友在高速公路行走。交警把两人载到服务区,努力与他们进行交流才得知,两人是想搭便车往南昌游玩。 tRWIyBX
[# # travel life tips [foreigners Chinese in trapped high-speed traffic police to see witty exchanges 】 high-speed traffic police patrol in jiangxi province, found that two from Russia travelers can walk on the highway. Traffic police take two people to the service area, try to communicate with their learned that two people want to ride to visit nanchang. tRWIyBX]
最新鲜的汽车资讯;
最快速的新车报道;
最全面的车型数据;
最及时的车型报价;
最丰富的汽车活动。百度网盘:
#万人鉴定出土古卷# 近日,在优市近郊出土一卷“清明上河图”,据市文物专家鉴定,属宋代时期的文物,保存完好。度小盘有幸一睹风采,图中人物各具特色,形象鲜明,勤劳工作,一片繁荣。那么问题来了,你能看出图中有哪些典故吗[小黄人坏笑]?关注@优信 @百度网盘,转评此微博,并说出正确答案的小伙...全文: m.weibo
[# # ten thousand people identify scrolls unearthed recently, near optimal city unearthed a roll of painting qingming festival, according to the municipal cultural relics experts identified, belong to the cultural relics of song dynasty, well-preserved. Degree of small lucky enough to catch a glimpse of elegant appearance, figure, distinctive characters in the image is bright, hard work, a piece of prosperity. So the question comes, what can you see the picture allusions [yellow people laugh]? Focus @ @ optimal letter baidu network backup, turn to review this weibo, and tell the right answer guy... The full text m. eibo]
百度网盘是百度公司推出的一款云服务产品。通过百度网盘,您可以将照片、文档、音乐、通讯录等数据在各类设备中备份和管理,亿用户的选择,亿用户的信任!世界很复杂,百度更懂你。官方微信公众号:百度网盘李冰冰:
“把%的国土空间还给大熊猫、东北虎、藏羚羊”[good][good][good]人类不是自然界的唯一,是时候还生命以尊重!
[% of the national spatial the east-northern tiger, back to the giant panda, Tibetan antelope [good] [good] [good] the human is not the only nature, is also to respect life time!]
小浪同学爱吐槽:
【新娘不要一分钱彩礼 新郎回她一场“海陆空”婚礼】骑白马、坐游艇、乘热气球……月日,河北石家庄,新娘乘坐热气球“从天而降”,新郎单膝跪地等待↓↓原来,新娘不要男方一分彩礼,新郎和朋友从年初开始策划,为新娘准备了这样一个盛大浪漫的仪式↓↓tRWMHYj
[[bride not a penny of dowry The groom back to her a sea wedding 】 ride a white horse, to sit the yacht, a balloon... Month, shijiazhuang, hebei province, the sky bride in a balloon, the groom knelt to wait left left the original, not to groom a bride price, the groom and his friend from the beginning of planning, preparing the bride for such a grand romantic ceremony left left tRWMHYj down]
曾用名@新浪news,国事家事天下事,事事关心。小野妹子学吐槽:
彩绘师好厉害,想带上眼动仪看彩绘师,买买买给彩绘师打call! tRWMlMsf tRWzfYPz
[Coloured drawing or pattern is very fierce, want to wear eye see coloured drawing or pattern division, buy buy buy for coloured drawing or pattern division make the call! TRWMlMsf tRWzfYPz]
图文多转自日文推特,附以无责任吐槽。关注后易节操丧失、下限消亡、性向逆转、生理失调。南方都市报:
【暖心又催泪!警宝唱给爸爸妈妈的一首歌[心]】MV中的孩子都来自郑州真实的警察家庭,面对镜头,孩子们纯真的歌声和心愿令人动容。在他们眼中,身穿警服的爸妈都是最厉害的超级英雄;而在爸爸妈妈眼中,他们也是最棒的宝贝。谢谢,宝贝们!(平安郑州)tRWqOpU
[The warm heart and tear! P treasure to mom and dads song [heart]] video, children from zhengzhou real police families, in the face of lens, our children are singing and heart touching. In their eyes, parents in police uniform are the best super hero; But in the eyes of mom and dad, they are the best baby. Thank you, baby! (zhengzhou) peace tRWqOpU]
欢迎关注南方都市报官方微博青年时报:
#十九大#【独家视频 总书记号召全体党员同志:拿出勇气干劲 创造无愧时代的业绩】今日上午时,中国共产党第十九次全国代表大会闭幕会在人民大会堂举行。习近平主持十九大闭幕会。名代表和特邀代表出席会议。习近平在大会上发表讲话,号召全体党员同志拿出勇气干劲,创造无愧时代的业绩。 ...全文: m.weibo
[# # big [exclusive video calls on all party member comrade general secretary courage energy Create a clear conscience era results 】 this morning, the communist party of China national congress final sitting # in the great hall of the people. Xi jinping hosted the th big final sitting. Delegates and invited representatives to attend the meeting. Xi jinping spoke at the conference, called on all party member comrade courage drive, create a clear conscience of the era of performance. ... The full text m. eibo]
新闻热线: 工作沟通、广告合作请联系微信:Alex优酷:
#电视剧将军在上#@马思纯 @盛一伦 @演员丁川 @张峻鸣M 奉命来撩~爱哭撒娇泼辣少女?大将军马思纯竟还有这样的一面。冷面暖男大“胸”弟,纨绔郡王盛一伦苏力爆棚,节目现场互暖互撩,这甜甜甜甜,甜到没边儿了~本周四,锁定优酷#大片起来嗨#,霸道将军俏郡王,撩你没商量! tRWMWnyT
[# general TV series in the # @ Sandra @ put an Aaron @ actor Ding Chuan @ Zhang Junming M were ordered to liao ~ in pettish provocative young girl crying? General charger, pure and such. Sunshine boy chest big brother is grim, wan ku county leowong a dispute resolution peaks, and show the scene curtains and warm each other, this sweet, sweet, sweet to an orgy ~ Thursday, locking youku # # large up hi, bullying general qiao county king, liao you graffiti! tRWMWnyT]
小浪同学爱吐槽:
【岁“熊孩子”闹矛盾出走留纸条:我走了,“忽念”[允悲]】日,安徽一岁男孩因写作业不用心,与奶奶闹了矛盾,留下一张纸条离家出走↓↓爷爷找了一个小时未果,最后民警在公园找到了他,当时奶奶差点哭出来。民警劝诫男孩,要认真学习,不要写错别字[并不简单]↓↓tRWMOnhA
[The age of bear children make antinomy flee notes I went away, and read [allow sad]], in anhui province, one year old boy because homework attentively, not with grandma make contradiction, left a note to run away from home left left grandpa took an hour, the police found him in the park, when grandma came close to tears. Police exhortation boy, to seriously study, dont write wrong character is not a simple left left tRWMOnhA down]
曾用名@新浪news,国事家事天下事,事事关心。玩转instagram:
超Q的手工珍珠 [憧憬]
[The ultra Q manual pearl [hope]]
带你玩转最美妙最有趣的instagram~(品牌合作请私信,提供简介,谢谢!)冷笑话精选:
赶紧逃命吧……[允悲]@请叫我红领巾啊啊:哪里有柯南哪里就有凶杀[允悲]@Prof_JK:海军军舰乐团杀人事件(上集)[doge][doge][doge]
[Hurriedly flee for life...... [allow sad] @ please call me red scarf where there is conan there are murder [allow sad] @ Prof_JK naval ships orchestra killings (territories) [doge] [doge] [doge]]
毒舌嘴贱会吐槽,颜正腿长一米八,八块腹肌的冷哥就是我!新浪汽车:
兰博基尼:“你怎么开车的啊,没看见我打着右转向灯吗?”,GTR:“你没看我雨刷器打着,过不来过不来……”[允悲]没毛病,都说过不来了……[允悲][允悲][允悲]
[Lamborghini you how to drive, cant you see me in the right turn signal? , GTR dont you see my wipers on and dont come not to... There is nothing wrong with [allow sad], is said to come... [allow sad] [allow sad] [allow sad]]
最新鲜的汽车资讯;
最快速的新车报道;
最全面的车型数据;
最及时的车型报价;
最丰富的汽车活动。汽车之家:
#家家汽车文化##斯柯达明锐##国家公园#在这里我看到了中国最美的星空,天空透亮的如同一盆清水一样;在这里我看到了最和谐的人与自然的相处之道,我们是客人这里的动物才是主人;在这里呼吸着中国最干净的空气,即便是轻微的高反也让你甘之如饴,这里就是香格里拉,如同陶渊明所表述的世外桃源!...全文: m.weibo
[# # # every auto culture skoda Octavia # # # national park where I saw the most beautiful star in China, the sky is bright like a basin of water; Here I saw the harmony between man and nature get along, we are guests here in animals is the master; Breathing the air of Chinas most clean here, even a slight high also let you mellifluous, here is the shangri-la, as described by tao yuanming xanadu! ... The full text m. eibo]
汽车之家为广大汽车消费者提供买车、用车、养车及与汽车生活相关的全程服务,以全面、专业、可信赖、高互动性的内容,多层次、多维度地影响最广泛的汽车消费者,是中国最具价值的互联网汽车营销平台。小浪同学爱吐槽:
【女生买了一件的香奈儿上衣结果掉色了,网友评论亮瞎了![允悲]】一件的上衣掉色了,香奈儿售后:我们这产品设计根本没考虑到洗涤的情况↓↓然后...网友:贫穷,都是贫穷,一次又一次地限制了我的想象力[跪了][跪了][跪了]↓↓tRWMCcx
[The girl bought a chanel jacket results rub off, the net friend comment on bright blind! [allow sad]] a coat fade, chanel after-sales we this product design doesnt take into account the washing of left left and... Net friend poverty, poverty, again and again to limit my imagination] [kneeling] [kneeling] [kneeling left left tRWMCcx]
曾用名@新浪news,国事家事天下事,事事关心。冷笑话精选:
年的超珍贵影像!
岁的邓丽君与岁的山口百惠同台表演,
邓丽君的甜美,山口百惠的纯情……
令人怀念的年代!tRWMis
[Years of precious images! < br > year-old age of Teresa teng and momoe yamaguchi perform together, < br > Teresa teng sweet, pure momoe yamaguchi... < br > the nostalgic s! tRWMis]
毒舌嘴贱会吐槽,颜正腿长一米八,八块腹肌的冷哥就是我!青年时报:
【#十九大#通过党章修正案 历届党代会党章这样修改】
[【 # # by the amendment to the constitution Successive congress of the party constitution that modify 】]
新闻热线: 工作沟通、广告合作请联系微信:Alex薛蛮子:
回复@味蕾法式西点没有@味蕾法式西点有鲨鱼吗?@薛蛮子几百个朋友都希望来这个原生态的处女岛来体验鲁滨逊漂流记般的生活。看来市场很大。这里沙滩很大很多,海龟下蛋孵蛋不会受影响,把长出的小海龟放归大海将是此地旅游的一大亮点。
天使投资人薛蛮子 商业计划书请发送至——charlesxue@一猫扑:
【成都一中学设死亡体验课戴眼罩躺倒 现场放哀乐】近日,一场集体“葬礼”在成都七中万达学校的体育馆里举行,名初一学生身边放着自己写下的墓志铭,他们静静地躺在地板上,体验着“死亡”地滋味。实际上这是学校德育大课堂的一项,整个课程的设置长达个半小时,有分钟的“死亡”体验。老师介...全文: m.weibo
[The chengdu a middle school set up wearing an eye mask lying death experience lesson Field put sorrows] recently, a collective funeral in wandas school gymnasium in chengdu, a junior student side put himself wrote an epitaph, they quietly lying on the floor, to experience a death to taste. In fact this is a big classroom of school moral education, the curriculum setting and a half hours, minutes of death experience. The teacher referral... The full text m. eibo]
猫扑网唯一指定官方微博。私信开放投稿、爆料。商务合作:qq:小浪同学爱吐槽:
【淘女郎一天要换一百多套衣服 日入过万】“穿穿脱脱,月入百万”,是外界给淘宝模特的标签。但岁的淘女郎璐璐认为光鲜亮丽的背后是辛酸↓↓“淘女郎”每天要穿厘米的高跟鞋,一秒钟换一个姿势,两分钟换一套服装↓↓tRWMSWAC
曾用名@新浪news,国事家事天下事,事事关心。金山夜话博主:
#金山夜话# 听友:我父母总以一种“你还小,什么都不懂”的态度来对我,我干什么都是这个态度,感觉他们在气势总压着我!导致我干什么都没信心,没有完全展现自我的能力!其实他们就是普通工人,什么能力也没有,就倚老卖老,用这招来增加他们的自信!真恶心他们!好想打一顿他们就知道我厉害了!我都...全文: m.weibo
[# # jinshan night listening to friends my parents always in a you are young, what all dont understand attitude to me, Im doing is this attitude, feeling their momentum total pressure on me!!!!!!! Cause I havent confidence, do not show the ability of self! In fact they are ordinary workers, what ability also have no, seniority, use this technique to increase their self-confidence! Disgusting them! Really want to play a meal they will know that I ill! I have... The full text m. eibo]
首届中国广电“台帝”,《金山夜话》主持人,记者,作家,著名情感问题专家平安北京:
#警察故事#【探访北京市公安局接警中心:电波的另一端 有一群人在守护平安】在首都公安队伍中,有这样一个警种,他们没有像刑警一样战斗在打击破案一线,他们每天只是在电话前,却守护了首都千万人的平安。他们就是市公安局指挥部接警中心的民警。tRWtlZ
[# # police story [to visit the Beijing municipal public security bureau called center a group of people at the other end of the waves in the guardian of peace 】 in the capital police team, there is such a launching, they have no fight like Interpol on investigation on the line, they just before the phone every day, but to protect the peace of more than ten million people in the capital. They are the center of the city public security bureau command called police. tRWtlZ]
这里是北京市公安局官方微博,在这里您可以了解到北京警方的新闻资讯。欢迎您给我们提出意见和建议。新浪汽车:
#车市解码#【月销量折扣排行榜大揭秘!】月家轿销量排行榜第一名依旧是大众朗逸,SUV市场上汽通用五菱摘得桂冠!你的车销量如何?来看本期“车市解码”吧!@微博汽车 @汽车视频 @购车帮帮忙 tRWMXQP
[# # market decoding [month sales discount list the uncensored!] Home car sales ranking first name is still a Volkswagen lavida, SUV market wuling crowned! How is your car sales? To see this car decoding! @ twitter @ car video @ shopping help tRWMXQP]
最新鲜的汽车资讯;
最快速的新车报道;
最全面的车型数据;
最及时的车型报价;
最丰富的汽车活动。微博汽车:
【杭州一支特警车队全体停车为路人让行,网友称赞暖爆了!】近日,在杭州萧山一没有红绿灯的路口,浙江杭州巡(特)警大队二中队——“群蜂”机动队,十几辆特警车集体停车礼让路人。网友称“感觉很震撼”。中队长称只是做了车主该做的事,车队每天都要礼让多次。 tRWMXZN
[【 hangzhou a swat team all stop to give way to the pedestrian, netizens praised warm burst!] Recently, in hangzhou xiaoshan without traffic light intersection, tour in hangzhou, zhejiang province (te) brigades squadron, bees mobile team, a dozen police car parking collective comity passers-by. Netizen feel very shocked. Mid-team leader said just do owners should do, comity many times every day. tRWMXZN]
这个官微有意思,有车没车不重要,带你装逼带你飞小浪同学爱吐槽:
【小学生吐槽家长吼娃征文刷屏朋友圈 家长:笑了又哭了】关于陪读吼娃孩子们怎么想?放开说“真心话”的孩子们堪称段子手↓↓王贝易小朋友除了吐槽妈妈陪读吼娃,她还透露“我和我妈相差岁,可是她一直说自己岁,虽然我已经岁了。请原谅我的数学不好,这道题我不会算”↓↓tRWMJuKF
[The pupils fun parents roar her essay refresh friends parents laughing and crying 】 with roar her children how to think about? Let go say truth of the children is a joke left hand left Wang Beiyi children except poking fun at mother shouted with Eva, she said I and my mother are years old, but she has said her age, although I have already old. Please forgive my math is not good, the problem is I cant be left left tRWMJuKF]
曾用名@新浪news,国事家事天下事,事事关心。优酷:
有没有被#优酷秋集#接连不断的高能淹没,场上还有一批白衣小天使你们一定没有注意到!优酷君的同事们今天身穿“态度”T现身秋集现场,用特别的方式勇敢秀态度[爱你]
[Ever be # # youku autumn set a succession of high-energy, field and a batch of white angel you must be didnt notice! Youku jun colleagues today wearing attitude T appeared in autumn set the scene, a brave show attitude in special way love you []]
新浪汽车:
#老司机课堂# 遇到堵车,可以在车里来一组健身操,打发时间又活动筋骨!转~
[Old driver class # # met a traffic jam, can be a group calisthenics in the car, pass the time and exercise! Go ~]
最新鲜的汽车资讯;
最快速的新车报道;
最全面的车型数据;
最及时的车型报价;
最丰富的汽车活动。汽车之家:
#论坛精选日报# 【就是要红的惊艳 WEY VVs用车分享】大家都说车是自己的“老婆”,其实这并非一句笑谈。一个人一旦爱上一款车,柔和的目光中除了欣赏与痴迷再无它物。围着北京城,给我的VVs来组大片。传送门:tRWMJfL
[# # BBS of hits daily [is to red jing WEY VVs car share 】 everybody said the car is his wife, actually this is not a joke. Once a person fall in love with a car, the gentle eyes in addition to appreciate and obsession with nothing. Around the city, to my VVs group. Portal tRWMJfL]
汽车之家为广大汽车消费者提供买车、用车、养车及与汽车生活相关的全程服务,以全面、专业、可信赖、高互动性的内容,多层次、多维度地影响最广泛的汽车消费者,是中国最具价值的互联网汽车营销平台。金山夜话博主:
#金山夜话# 听友:我有社交怪圈。我从初中开始到大学,几乎就没找着和我一类的人。我这个人属于那种学习慢热型。从高中开始到大学我身边的环境就一直特别差,学的少玩的多,环境影响一点好的都没有。上了大学还这样,我们这个班就没几个正经学的,但是在大学里交了一些朋友。可是,我这人很注意内在,...全文: m.weibo
[# # jinshan night listening to a friend I have a social circle. I start from junior middle school to university, almost didnt find it and Im kind of person. I belong to that a slow type of learning. From high school to university was particularly bad environment around me, learn to play more, less impact on the environment have no good at all. Went to college and in this way, we havent a few are classics of the class, but made some friends in the university. But, I this person pay great attention to internal,... The full text m. eibo]
首届中国广电“台帝”,《金山夜话》主持人,记者,作家,著名情感问题专家
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