Chicken

这件事情，说起来是十分平淡的。也问过好几个朋友，问他们有没有同样的经验，多半答说有的，而结果却都相当辉煌，大半没有捱打也没有被责备。

我要说的是——偷钱。

当然，不敢在家外面做这样的事情，大半是翻父母的皮包或口袋，拿了一张钞票。

朋友们在少年的时候，偷了钱大半请班上同学吃东西，快快花光，回去再受罚。只有一个朋友，偷了钱，由台南坐火车独自一人在台北流浪了两天，钱用光了，也就回家。据我的观察，最后那个远走高飞的小朋友是受罚最轻的一个，他的父母在发现人财两失的时候，着急的是人，人回来了，好好看待失而复得的儿子，结果就舍不得打了。

小孩子偷钱，大半父母都会反省自己，是不是平日不给零用钱才引得孩子们出手偷，当然这是比较明理的一派父母。

我的父母也明理，却忘了我也需要钱，即使做小孩子，在家不愁衣食，走起路来仍期望有几个铜板在口袋里响的。

那一年，已经小学三年级了，并没有碰过钱，除了过年的时候那包压岁钱之外，而压岁钱也不是给花的，是给放在枕头底下给压着睡觉过年的，过完了年，便乖乖的交回给父母，将数目记在一个本子上。大人说，要存起来，做孩子的教育费。并不是每一个孩子都期待受教育的，例如我大弟便不，他也不肯将压岁钱缴还给父母。他总是在过年的那三天里跟邻居的孩子去赌扑克牌，赌赢了下半年总有钱花，小小年纪，将自己的钱支配得当当心心，而且丰满。

在我们的童年里，小学生流行的是收集橡皮筋和红楼梦人物画片，还有玻璃纸——包彩色糖果用的那种。

这些东西，在学校外面沿途回家的杂货铺里都有得卖，也可以换。所谓换，就是拿一本用过的练习簿交给老板娘，可以换一颗彩色的糖。吃掉糖，将包糖的纸洗洗干净，夹在书里，等夹成一大叠了，又可以跟小朋友去换画片或者几根橡皮筋。也因为这个缘故，回家来写功课的时候总特别热心，恨不能将那本练习簿快快用光，好去换糖纸，万一写错了，老师罚着重写，那么心情也不会不好，反而十分欢喜。

在同学里，我的那根橡皮筋绳子拉得最长，下课用来跳橡皮筋时也最神气。而我的母亲总弄不懂为什么我的练习簿那么快就会用完，还怪老师功课出得太多，弄得小孩子回家来不停的写了又写。也就在那么一个星期天，走进母亲的睡房，看见五斗柜上躺着一按红票子——五块钱。

当年一个小学老师的薪水大约是一百二十块台币一个月，五块钱的价值大约现在的五百块那么多了，也等于许多许多条彩色的橡皮筋，许多许多红楼梦里小姐丫头们的画片，等于可以贴一个大玻璃窗的糖纸，等于不必再苦写练习簿，等于一个孩子全部的心怀意念和快乐。

对着那张静静躺着的红票子，我的呼吸开始急促起来，两手握得紧紧的，眼光离不开它。

当我再有知觉的时候，已经站在花园的桂花树下，摸摸口袋，那张票子随着出来了，在口袋里。

没敢回房间去，没敢去买东西，没敢跟任何人讲话，悄悄的蹲在院子里玩泥巴。母亲喊吃中饭，勉勉强强上了桌，才喝了一口汤呢，便听母亲喃喃自语：“奇怪，才搁的一张五块钱怎么不见了。”姐姐和弟弟乖乖的吃饭，没有答理，我却说了：“是不是你忘了地方，根本没有拿出来？”母亲说不可能的，我接触到父亲的眼光，一口滚汤咽下去，烫得脸就红了。

星期天的孩子是要强迫睡午觉的，我从来不想睡，又没有理由出去，再说买了那些宝贝也不好突然拿回来，当天晚上是要整理书包的——在父母面前。

还是被捉到床上去了，母亲不肯人穿长裤去睡，硬要来拉裤子，当她的手碰到我的长裤口袋时，我呼一下又胀红了脸，挣扎着翻了一个身，喊说头痛头痛，不肯她碰我。

那个样子的确象在发高烧，口袋里的五块钱就如汤里面滚烫的小排骨一样，时时刻刻烫着我的腿。

“我看妹妹有点发烧，不晓得要不要去看看医生。”

听见母亲有些担心的在低声跟父亲商量，又见父亲拿出了一支热度计在甩。我将眼睛再度闭上，假装睡着了。姿势是半斜的，紧紧压住右面口袋。

夏天的午后，睡醒了的小孩子就给放到大树下的小桌边去，叫我们数柚子和芭乐，每个人的面前有一碗绿豆汤，冰冰的。姐姐照例捧一本西游记在看，我们想听故事，姐姐就念一小段。总是说，多念要收钱，一小段不要钱。她收一毛钱讲一回。我们没有钱，她当真不多讲，自己低头看得起劲。有一次大弟很大方，给了她两毛钱，那个孙悟空就变了很多次，还去了火焰山。平日大弟绝不给，我就没得听了。

那天姐姐说西游记已经没意思了，她还会讲言情的，我们问她什么是言情，她说是红楼梦——里面有恋爱。不过她仍然要收钱。我的手轻轻摸过那张钞票，已经快黄昏了，它仍然用不掉。晚上长裤势必脱了换睡衣，睡衣没有口袭，那张钞票怎么藏？万一母亲洗衣服，摸出钱来，又怎么了得？书包里不能放，父亲等我们入睡了又去检查的。鞋里不能藏，早晨穿鞋母亲会在一旁看。抽屉更不能藏，大弟会去翻。除了这些地方，一个小孩子是没有地方了，毕竟属于我们的角落是太少了。既然姐姐说故事收钱，不如给了她，省掉自己的重负。于是我问姐姐有没有钱找？姐姐问是多少钱要找？我说是一块钱，叫她找九毛来可以开讲恋爱了。她疑疑惑惑的问我：“你哪来一块钱？”我又脸红了，说不出话来。其实那是整张五块的，拿出来就露了破绽。当天晚上我仍然被拉着去看了医生。据母亲说给医生的病况是：一天都脸红，烦躁，不肯讲话，吃不下东西，魂不守舍，大约是感冒了。医生说看不出有什么病，也没有发烧，只说早些睡了，明天好上学去。

我被拉去洗澡，母亲要脱我的衣服，我不肯，开始小声的哭，脸通红的，哭了一会儿，发觉家里的工人玉珍蹲着在给洗腿，这才松了一口气。

那五块钱仍在口袋里。

穿了睡衣，钱跟过来了，握在拳头里，躲在浴室不出来。大弟几次拿拳头敲门，也不肯开。等到我们小孩都已上了床，母亲才去浴室，父亲在客厅坐着。

我赤着脚快步跑进母亲的睡房，将钱卷成一团，快速的丢到五斗柜跟墙壁的夹缝里去，这才逃回床上，长长的松了口气。那个晚上，想到许多的梦想因为自己的胆小而付诸东流，心里酸酸的。

“不吃下这碗稀饭，不许去上学。”

我们三个孩子愁眉苦脸的对着早餐，母亲照例在监视，一个平淡的早晨又开始了。“你的钱找到了没有？”我问母亲。

“等你们上学了才去找——快吃呀！”母亲递上来一个煮蛋。我吃了饭，背好书包，忍不住走到母亲的睡房去打了一个转，出来的时候喊着：“妈妈，你的钱原来掉在夹缝里去了。”母亲放下了碗，走进去，捡起了钱说：“大概是风吹的吧！找到了就好。”那时，父亲的眼光轻轻的掠了我一眼，我脸红得又像发烧，匆匆的跑出门去，忘了说再见。

偷钱的故事就那么平平淡淡的过去了。

奇怪的是，那次之后，父母突然管起我们的零用钱来，每个小孩一个月一块钱，自己记帐，用完了可以商量预支下个月的，预支满两个月，就得——忍耐。

也是那次之后的第二个星期天，父亲给了我一盒外国进口的糖果，他没有说慢慢吃之类的话。我快速的把糖果剥出来放在一边，将糖纸泡在脸盆里洗干净，然后一张一张将它们贴在玻璃窗上等着干。那个下午，就在数糖纸的快乐里，悠悠的度过。

等到我长大以后，跟母亲说起偷钱的事，她笑说她不记得了。又反问：“怎么后来没有再偷了呢？”我说那个滋味并不好受。说着说着，发觉姐姐弟弟们在笑，原来都偷过钱，也都感觉不好过，这一段往事，就过去了。

It was a matter of the plainest description. I have asked several of my friends if they have had the same experience, and most of them have said yes, but the results have been brilliant, and most of them have not been beaten or blamed. All I'm saying is -- steal the money. Of course, dare not do such things outside the home, most of the parents are rummaging through the bag or pocket, took a note. When they were teenagers, they stole most of the money and invited their classmates to eat. They spent it quickly and got punished again. Only a friend, stole the money, by train from Tainan alone in Taipei wandering for two days, money ran out, also go home. According to my observation, the last child who ran away was the one who received the least punishment. When his parents found out that people had lost their money, they were worried about people. When people came back, they took good care of their lost son, and I couldn't bring myself to do it. Most parents ask themselves whether it is the usual practice of not giving pocket money that causes their children to steal, and this is a reasonable group of parents. My parents were sensible enough to forget that I needed money, too, and that even as a child, I could walk around the house and expect a few coins to ring in my pocket. In that year, I was already in the third grade of primary school, and I didn't touch any money, except for the New Year Money in the New Year package. The new year money was not for spending, but for sleeping under the pillow, after the New Year, they obediently returned to their parents, the number of notes in a book. Adults say, to save up for the children's education. Not every child is looking for an education, for example, my brother is not, he would not give back the lucky money to their parents. He always in the new year that three days to play cards with the neighbor's children, won the second half of the year always have money to spend, a small age, their money to spend carefully, and plump. In our childhood, it was fashionable for elementary school students to collect rubber bands and pictures of people in the dream of the red chamber, as well as cellophane -- the kind used to wrap colored candy. These items can be bought or exchanged at the grocery store on the way home from school. The so-called exchange, is to take a used exercise book to the boss's wife, can change a colored sugar. Eat Sugar, sugar paper wash clean, clip in the book, and so clip into a big stack, and you can go with the children to change a picture or a few rubber bands. Also because of this, when I came home to write my lessons, I was always very enthusiastic. I wished I could use up the exercise book quickly so that I could change the sugar paper. If I made a mistake and the teacher had to rewrite it, then I would not be in a bad mood, i was actually quite pleased. Of all my classmates, I had the longest rubber band, and the proudest when I used it for jumping after class. My mother couldn't understand why my exercise books were running out so quickly, and blamed the teacher for doing so much homework that the children kept coming home to write and write. On that Sunday, I went into my mother's bedroom and saw a red note-five dollars lying on the chest of drawers. Back then, a primary school teacher's salary was about one hundred and twenty Taiwan dollars a month. Five dollars is worth about five hundred dollars, which is equivalent to many, many colored rubber bands, many, many pictures of girls in a dream of Red Mansions are like candy wrappers that can be pasted on a large glass window. They are like exercise books that need not be painstakingly written. They are like all the thoughts and joys of a child. My breathing began to quicken, my hands clasped tightly, my eyes fixed on the still red ticket. When I was conscious again, I was standing under the sweet-scented osmanthus tree in the garden, feeling my pocket, and the ticket came out, in the pocket. Didn't dare to go back to his room, didn't dare to go shopping, didn't dare to talk to anyone, and squatted quietly in the yard playing in the mud. Mother shouted to eat lunch, reluctantly on the table, only to drink soup, then listen to the mother muttered: "Strange, just put a five dollars how missing." Sister and brother to eat quietly, did not answer, but I said, "did you forget the place and didn't take it out at all?" My mother said it was impossible. I touched my father's eyes and swallowed the hot soup, then blushed. Sunday children are forced to take naps. I never want to go to bed, I have no reason to go out, and it is not easy to buy those babies and suddenly bring them back. I have to tidy up my schoolbag that night -- in front of my parents. Still, I was taken to bed. My mother refused to wear long pants to bed and had to pull them up. When her hand touched my pants pocket, I puffed and blushed again. I struggled and turned over, complaining of a headache, wouldn't let her touch me. It did look like I had a fever, and the five dollars in my pocket burned my legs like little ribs in soup, The Hours said. "I think my sister has a fever. I don't know if I should go to the Doctor."" I heard my mother whispering to my father in worry, and he took out a thermometer and shook it. I closed my eyes again and pretended to be asleep. In a semi-oblique position, press firmly against the right pocket. On summer afternoons, the awakened child was placed at a small table under a big tree and told us to count grapefruit and Psidium guajava. There was a bowl of mung bean soup in front of each of us, Bing Bing's. Sister as usual holding a journey to the west in the reading, we want to hear the story, sister read a short paragraph. They always say, "I'll charge you for the extra reading, but I won't charge you for the short reading.". She takes a dime for it. We have no money, she really do not say much, their head down to look at the fun. Once the eldest brother was very generous, gave her two cents, that Son Gokū changed many times, also went to Flaming Mountains. If you don't give it to me, I won't get it. That day, my sister said that the journey to the west was no longer interesting, and that she could still talk about romance. When we asked her what romance was, she said it was a dream of Red Mansions -- there was love in it. But she still needs to be paid. My hand touched the note lightly. It was almost dusk, and it was still unble. Night pants must take off to change pajamas, pajamas without mouth attack, that bill hidden? What if the mother washes the clothes and takes out the money? I Can't put it in my schoolbag. My father checks it when we're asleep. You Can't hide it in your shoes. In the morning, your mother will watch. You Can't hide a drawer. Your brother will go through it. Except these places, a child is no place, after all, belong to our corner is too few. Since the elder sister tells a story to collect money, might as well give her, saves own heavy burden. So I asked my sister if she had any change? Sister asked how much money to find? I said it was a dollar, and told her to find 90 cents to start talking about love. Puzzled, she asked me, "where do you get a Dollar?" I blushed again, unable to speak. Actually, it was a whole five. It was a giveaway. I was still dragged to the doctor that night. According to the mother said to the Doctor's condition is: all day blushing, irritable, refused to talk, unable to eat, distracted, about a cold. The Doctor said there is no disease, and no fever, just said to go to bed early, tomorrow to go to school. When I was dragged to the shower and my mother tried to undress me, I refused and began to cry in a low voice, blushing and crying for a while, relieved to find Yuzhen, a domestic worker, squatting to wash her legs. The five dollars were still in his pocket. In his pajamas, the money followed, clenched in his fist, hiding in the bathroom. He knocked on the door with his fist several times but refused to open it. When all our children were in bed, mother went to the bathroom and father sat in the living room. I ran barefoot into my mother's bedroom, rolled the money into a ball, threw it quickly between the chest of drawers and the wall, and fled back to bed, breathing a long sigh of relief. That night, think of a lot of dreams because of their timid and down the drain, sour in the heart. "Don't go to school without eating this bowl of porridge," our three children scowled at breakfast, our mother watching as usual, and a bland morning began. "have you found your money?" I asked my mother. "wait till you get to school -- Eat!" Mother handed over a boiled egg. I had a meal, back a good schoolbag, could not help but go to the mother's bedroom to play a turn, came out shouting: "Mom, your money fell in the crack." Mother put down the bowl, went in, i picked up the money and said, "it's probably the wind. I'm glad I found it." Father's eyes gently swept my eyes, I blushed like a fever, hurried out the door, forget to say goodbye. The story of stealing the money was over. Curiously, after that time, our parents suddenly began to control our pocket money. Each child had a dollar a month to keep his own account, and when he had used it, he could negotiate an advance for the next month, two months in advance, you just -- you just have to be patient. On the second Sunday after that, my father gave me a box of foreign candy. He didn't say anything about eating slowly. I quickly peel the candy off to the side, soak the wrappers in the wash basin, then stick them one by one on the glass window to dry. That afternoon, in the happiness of counting candy wrappers, leisurely spent. When I grew up, I told my mother about the theft, and she laughed and said she didn't remember. And then asked: "How come no longer steal it?" I said that the taste is not good. Say Say say say, discover elder sister and younger brother are smiling, had stolen money originally, also feel not good, this paragraph of the past, passed.

标题: 胆小鬼
作者: 三毛
字数: 2872
简介: 这件事情，说起来是十分平淡的。也问过好几个朋友，问他们有没有同样的经验，多半答说有的，而结果却都相当辉煌，大半没有捱打也没有被责备。我要说的