If you don't have me,

恋爱中的男女常会说：“如果我没有了你……”

当他们结婚，有了孩子，那句话可能成为：“如果家没有了我……”

再过几十年，孩子都大了，老伴也老了，死亡已经成为眼前事，那句话或将是：“如果你没有了我……”

血气方刚的时候，追求的是另一半，要的常是对方的全部。那爱是炙热燃烧的火，以最大的愿望，企盼对方跟自己一起燃烧；那是一对一的，百分之百对百分之百的；那是纯的，容不得一粒沙子的掺入，容不得第三者的干预；那是神圣的，因为它是爱、崇高的爱、不现实的爱。

但是当我们有了下一代，爱的烈焰，就变成文文的炭火。没有熏人的黑烟、没有炙人的火苗，夫妻成为守炭火的人，适时地拨一拨，适时地添些炭，适时地把自己投掷下去，只为了火要维持———只为了我们的孩子正在旁边，安详地睡着。

然后，孩子自己有了家。夜色中远远望去，他们一家，正围着红红的炭火，相互倚靠着。剩下老两口前面的火，却默默地暗淡：

“我累了，不能再跟你一块添火，当我走后，你要好好过！如果孩子好，可以过去围他们的那堆火；如果孩子不好，跟你借炭，你可要慎重，还是留些温暖给自己……”

我想，每个曾经恋爱、曾经养育以及走向老年的人，都可能有这样的感触。

这就是爱的三种境界。

men and women in love often say, "If I were without you..." when they get married and have children, the phrase might become: "If I were without home..." The children are old, the wife is old, the death has become the immediate matter, the sentence will be: "If you do not have me..."

when young, the pit of the other half, it's always about the other person. That Love is a burning fire, burning with the greatest desire for each other with themselves; that it is one-to-one, one-to-one, one-to-one; that it is pure and can not be mixed with a grain of sand, there is no room for third-party interference; it is sacred because it is love, Sublime Love, unrealistic love. But when we have the next generation, the flame of love becomes the flame of literature. There is no smoking black smoke, there is no burning flame, the husband and wife become the people who keep the charcoal fire, timely dial a group, timely add some charcoal, timely throw themselves down, for the fire to hold -- for our children to be beside us, peacefully asleep.

then, the child had his own home. Night in the distance, they are surrounded by red charcoal fire, leaning against each other. Leaving the fire in front of the old couple, but silently dim:

"I am tired, can not add fire with you, when I go, you have a good time!"! If the child is good, you can go round their fire; if the child is not good, borrow charcoal from you, you must be careful, or keep some warmth for yolf..." Anyone who has ever been in love, raised, or aged may feel this way. These are the three realms of love.

标题: 如果你没有了我
作者: 刘墉
字数: 535
简介: 恋爱中的男女常会说：“如果我没有了你……” 当他们结婚，有了孩子，那句话可能成为：“如果家没有了我……” 再过几十年，孩子都大了