2017年7月8日星期六

Weibo funny center! For the most funny funny weibo every day. Pay attention to my, get daily fresh

微博搞笑排行榜:
    本来挺困的,看完这些图,瞬间精神了!笑死我了[哈哈][哈哈] ​​​​
[Originally is trapped, finish see these diagrams, instantaneous spirit! Laugh die me (ha ha) (ha ha)]

微博搞笑中心!每天搜罗最搞笑最好玩的微博。关注我,获得每日新鲜笑料!(欢迎合作,投稿)↖(^ω^)↗

沈博阳:
    一路向南,六个小时不停歇,来到了魂牵梦绕的圣塔莫尼卡。第一次来这里到现在一晃二十一年了。 tzYV ​
[The south, six hours non-stop, I came to miss Santa monica. First time here on years now. tzYV]

LinkedIn领英中国总裁

平安北京:
    说警察侵犯人身权利事儿是小,委屈能忍,忍不了违法者被警察抓获后我们却无法给他定罪后的得意![泪]站出来吧姑娘们!
[Said the police about infringement of personal rights is small, injustice can endure, endure not the offender was arrested by the police after we could not give after his conviction of proud! [] tears come forward girls!]

这里是北京市公安局官方微博,在这里您可以了解到北京警方的新闻资讯。欢迎您给我们提出意见和建议。

小浪同学爱吐槽:
    【姑姑去世时让他打开缝纫机 没想到下一秒…】美国男子卡尔在姑姑的老旧缝纫机里找出的老物件,让他一夜成了亿万富翁↓↓因为姑姑的叮嘱,他打开了缝纫机。瞬间一样不起眼的东西从机器里面掉出来↓↓谁能想这个小东西的鉴定结果让所有人惊掉了下巴↓↓tRKUSERK ​
[【 let him open the machine when aunt died I didnt expect the next seconds... 】 American man Carl in aunts old sewing machine to find the old object, let him become a billionaire overnight left left for her aunts words, he turned on the sewing machine. Moment the humble thing come out from inside the machine left left who can think the little one tests for all jumped off his chin left left tRKUSERK]

曾用名@新浪news,国事家事天下事,事事关心。

新浪新闻客户端:
    【姑姑去世时让他打开缝纫机 没想到下一秒…】美国男子卡尔在姑姑的老旧缝纫机里找出的老物件,让他一夜成了亿万富翁↓↓因为姑姑的叮嘱,他打开了缝纫机。瞬间一样不起眼的东西从机器里面掉出来↓↓谁能想这个小东西的鉴定结果让所有人惊掉了下巴↓↓tRKUSERK ​
[【 let him open the machine when aunt died I didnt expect the next seconds... 】 American man Carl in aunts old sewing machine to find the old object, let him become a billionaire overnight left left for her aunts words, he turned on the sewing machine. Moment the humble thing come out from inside the machine left left who can think the little one tests for all jumped off his chin left left tRKUSERK]

只想做一只人见人爱的客户端

音悦台:
    #约翰尼德普# 放开我,我还能签!台哥觉得这真的是很努力了... 你的爱豆有哪些让你记忆深刻的暖心时间吗? ​
[# Johnny Depp # let me go, I can also sign! Table elder brother think it is really hard... What are your love beans make you remember the warm heart of the time? ​]

音悦Tai明星饭团等待各位悦友亲们回家吃饭,支持你的偶像!饭团总舵地址:yinyuetaifanMass

小野妹子学吐槽:
    东京品川的水族馆Aqua Park为了宣传也是拼了,请了一票知名声优为鱼配音,各种玛丽苏台词撩得不要不要的,号称“帅鱼天堂”...感觉去看完耳朵会怀小鱼[允悲] tRKUSip ​
[Aquarium in Tokyo shinagawa Aqua Park for propaganda also spelled, please a well-known making dubbing for fish, all kinds of Mary Sue face lines dont dont of, so-called handsome fish heaven... Feeling to finish see can bosom small ears allow sad tRKUSip]

图文多转自日文推特,附以无责任吐槽。关注后易节操丧失、下限消亡、性向逆转、生理失调。

猫扑:
    这还是我第一次听到猫咪放屁tRKyOIC(via文科班校花酱) ​
[This is the first time I heard the cat fart tRKyOIC (via the liberal arts class beauty queen sauce)]

猫扑网唯一指定官方微博。私信开放投稿、爆料。商务合作:qq:

南方都市报:
    【听说女儿被幼儿园小朋友欺负 妈妈帮女儿出气被拘留】近日,辽阳女子田某听说岁女儿在幼儿园常受同班小朋友欺负,第二天刚到幼儿园,冲向那位小朋友就是一顿打。事后,田某拒绝道歉,“谁让她欺负我女儿,就得教训她一下。”被打小朋友在家长的带领下到医院进行了检查,他们对田某的做法无法接受。根...全文: m.weibo ​
[【 heard daughter bullied by kindergarten children Mother help her daughter to get custody 】 recently, liaoyang woman Tian Mou heard that year old daughter by her children in kindergarten often bullying, the next day just to kindergarten, rushed to the kid is a play. After the event, Tian Mou refused to apologize. who let her bully my daughter, have to teach her once. By children at home long led checked to the hospital, they have done to Tian Mou cant accept it. The root... The full text m. eibo]

欢迎关注南方都市报官方微博

冷笑话精选:
    澳洲硬汉解说熊猫视频!这特么也太可爱了吧!![笑cry]cr.谷大白话tRKUaytv ​
[Australias tough guy video explanation panda! This, yao is too cute!!!!! [laughing cry] cr. Valley vernacular tRKUaytv]

毒舌嘴贱会吐槽,颜正腿长一米八,八块腹肌的冷哥就是我!

小浪同学爱吐槽:
    【迪丽热巴模仿婴儿奶声奶气萌哭 可以开声优课了】近日,热巴在一节目采访中,充分展示了自己的语言天赋↓↓这一回按地域:上海话、北京话、东北话;按年龄:小学生、宿管阿姨,婴儿都有了↓↓尤其是那个小奶音,听得心要要化了↓↓tRKUuL ​
[【 Dillon heat and imitation milk baby milk sound of crying Can open the making class 】 recently, hot, in an interview with a program, fully demonstrated his gift for languages left left this time according to the region Shanghai dialect and Beijing dialect and northeast words; By age elementary, dormitory aunt, there were left left especially the little baby milk, listened to take the left left tRKUuL heart]

曾用名@新浪news,国事家事天下事,事事关心。

新浪汽车:
    #出行生活#梅赛德斯AMG E S 对比 保时捷 Panamera Turbo!你买谁?[舔屏][舔屏][舔屏]tRKPMXf ​
[Travel life # # Mercedes AMG E S contrast porsche eve Turbo! Who do you buy? [lick screen] [lick screen] [lick screen] tRKPMXf]

最新鲜的汽车资讯;
最快速的新车报道;
最全面的车型数据;
最及时的车型报价;
最丰富的汽车活动。

汽车之家:
    #海外谍照#【年发布 宾利添越插电式混动版谍照】日前,海外媒体拍摄到了一组宾利添越最新测试车的谍照,该车疑似为一款插电式混动版车型。据悉,这款车将会在年正式发布。tRKUiENO ​
[In overseas photos # # 【 bentley add the plug-in hybrid version of the spy 】, overseas media captured a group of bentley add more photos of the latest test car, the car suspected for a plug-in hybrid vehicles. It is reported that the car will be officially released in years. tRKUiENO]

汽车之家为广大汽车消费者提供买车、用车、养车及与汽车生活相关的全程服务,以全面、专业、可信赖、高互动性的内容,多层次、多维度地影响最广泛的汽车消费者,是中国最具价值的互联网汽车营销平台。

平安北京:
    #警察故事#【李铁成:办案是为警醒更多人杜绝酒驾】“我只是做了我该做的工作”、“我的工作没有什么特别的”,面对记者采访,西城交通支队刑事醉驾组组长李铁成显得有些局促,不断强调自己工作的“平凡”。然而他眼里的红血丝却让人一眼看出,他对工作的执着与热情。 ​
[# # police story [tie-cheng li case is to alert more people to put an end to drunk driving 】 I just did what I should do work, there is nothing special about my work, in the face of reporters, city traffic detachment criminal drunk group leader tie-cheng li a bit cramped, constantly stressed the ordinary of my own work. However, his eyes red, let a person see his dedication and passion for work. ​]

这里是北京市公安局官方微博,在这里您可以了解到北京警方的新闻资讯。欢迎您给我们提出意见和建议。

东方航空:
    梅雨季节,出行不易,乘飞机也要做足功课哦。
[The rainy season, travel is not easy, also want to do their homework by plane.]

中国东方航空集团公司总部位于上海,是我国三大国有骨干航空运输集团之一。年,以原东航集团公司为主体,在兼并原中国西北航空公司、联合原云南航空公司的基础上组建而成中国东方航空集团公司。经过数年的调整优化和资源整合,东航集团已基本形成以民航客货运输服务为主,通用航空、航空食品、进出口、金融期货、传媒广告、旅游票务、机场投资等业务为辅的航空运输集成服务体系。

卢健生:
    @香港的谭叔 我给你免死金牌,钦此![偷笑]@满满的扑满:圖片感覺似免死金牌[笑cry]
[@ the Tan Shu of Hong Kong I give you gold from death, qin this! [laughing] @ piggy bank full picture feel like gold from death [laugh cry]]

视觉科技 ImagineVision, CEO

猫扑:
    【山东名初二学生因成绩不好被劝退 教育局:学校违规】近日,山东乐陵市江山国际学校,对初二年级的近名学生统一做出劝退决定,而这些学生,大多数都没有什么明显的过错。有家长称,学校开除成绩差的学生是为了提升升学率。”对此当地教育局表示,学校劝退学生属于严重违规,将责令改正。via.齐鲁...全文: m.weibo ​
[The teenager students in shandong was stop because of poor grades of education school violations 】 recently, shandong laoling jiangshan international school, almost students of grade unified making decision, and these students, most of them are no obvious faults. Expelled from school, the parents have said bad grades of the students are in order to improve graduation rates. Stop to the local education bureau, said the school students belong to serious misconduct, will be ordered to correct. Via the qilu... m. eibo]

猫扑网唯一指定官方微博。私信开放投稿、爆料。商务合作:qq:

一块去旅行:
    【你相信会存在灵魂伴侣吗?】女主角躺在床边问了这样的一个恋爱中的典型问题。男主角思考了一会儿,用数学的方式给出了一个现实的答案。其实,世界上那么多人仅仅是能够相遇,彼此认可,就已经很不容易了[心]tRoroXeH ​
[Will you believe there is a soul mate? Actress lying on the bed asked one of the typical problems in love. Actor thought for a moment, using mathematical approach gives a realistic answer. In fact, so many people in the world just to meet, each other, they were not easy tRoroXeH [heart]]

我们的征途是星辰大海,愿做你旅程中的灯塔,一路照亮你前行。合作QQ:

Autobeta汽车杂志:
    【印度最恐怖公路】全长公里,其中的公里极其狭窄,就算是老司机,看了也会腿软吧?[衰] tRKUxgMT ​
[Indias most terrorist highway km, 】 the km is extremely narrow, even the old driver, it will also leg soft? [failure] tRKUxgMT]

国内外汽车资讯速递,依据新车进行点评,欢迎大家一起来侃车。你的评论和转发是我发微博的动力,喜欢车请关注 @autobeta汽车杂志。

新浪新闻客户端:
    很狗血很戏剧......孩子不是他的...你猜对了吗?
[Very dog blood very drama... A child is not his... You guessed it?]

只想做一只人见人爱的客户端

小浪同学爱吐槽:
    【男子旁观女友分娩被吓成表情包 产后更让他崩溃】国外一档真人秀节目播出了一位名叫达罗的男子在产房观看岁女友生产过程的画面,他的表情实在是太爆笑↓↓全程被吓到,根本不敢看婴儿长什么样↓↓事后得知的一个消息更是让他奔溃↓↓ tRKUxGOL ​
[The man is watching his girlfriend delivery package scare expression Postpartum more let he crash 】 abroad reality show aired a man named darrow girlfriend at the age of the delivery room to watch the production process, his expression is so joke left left scared all the way, dont look at the baby looks like left left later learned that a message is to let his crash left left tRKUxGOL]

曾用名@新浪news,国事家事天下事,事事关心。

小浪同学爱吐槽:
    你是被“分配”呢?还是拖后腿呢?
[You are distribution? Or dragging?]

曾用名@新浪news,国事家事天下事,事事关心。

卢健生:
    大开眼界。
[An eye-opener.]

视觉科技 ImagineVision, CEO

小浪同学爱吐槽:
    【老夫妻曾在房内被烧死 美女主播欲租房从一细节推测凶宅】近日,一高学历美女主播正在四处找出租屋,看中其中一间装潢很棒的楼套房↓↓却意外得知该处曾发生火灾,且还有一对夫妻被烧死↓↓虽没有实地看房,但女主播从隔壁楼房这一细节发现此为凶宅↓↓tRKUVCL ​
[The old couple were burnt to death in the room Female anchors to rent from a detail that haunted 】 recently, high degree female anchors are looking for bed and take a fancy to one of the decoration great floor suites left left accidentally learned that there was a fire, and there are a pair of husband and wife were burned left left isnt showing, but reporter from the next building this detail found the haunted as left left tRKUVCL]

曾用名@新浪news,国事家事天下事,事事关心。

微博位置:
    瑞士的一个湖畔小镇Lungern,静谧而美好tRaFjIC tRWJvAc ​
[A Swiss Lungern lake town, quiet and beautiful tRaFjIC tRWJvAc]

发微博带上“位置”,在冰冷的地点留下你温暖的故事。投诉建议 yonglin@staff.weibo

南方都市报:
    【山东乐陵名初二学生因成绩不好被劝退 教育局:严重违规】山东乐陵市江山国际学校,对初二年级近名学生统一做出劝退决定。“老师就跟我说,你就别上学了,上学也是干花钱,就把我给劝退了,我没犯错,没打架什么的。”被劝退学生告诉记者,学校后六十名学生被劝退都是因为成绩不好。学生家长告诉...全文: m.weibo ​
[【 LeLing teenager students in shandong was stop because of poor grades of education serious misconduct 】 shandong laoling jiangshan international school, on the second day grade nearly students united make the decision to stop. The teacher said to me, you dont go to school, the school also do spend money, took me to stop, I dont make mistakes, no fighting or something. Stop student tells a reporter, students after school was stop because of the bad grades. Students parents tell... The full text m. eibo]

欢迎关注南方都市报官方微博

猫扑:
    这个男人患有渐冻症,最后选择了安乐死,在妻子的陪伴下他安然离去,BBC记录下了这整个过程。生命有时候就是这么让人无奈,没有什么比死亡更让人无能为力......... tRKUDcv ​
[The man with gradually frozen disorder, finally chose euthanasia, in the company of his wife he was gone, the BBC recorded the whole process. Sometimes life is so let a person helpless, there is nothing more than death to let a person helpless... tRKUDcv]

猫扑网唯一指定官方微博。私信开放投稿、爆料。商务合作:qq:

汽车之家:
    #家家新闻# 【IIHS新成绩:丰田Avalon获“优+”评价】近日,美国公路安全保险协会(IIHS)公布了丰田Avalon的碰撞成绩。经过测试,丰田Avalon在碰撞细分项目中拿下全优成绩,同时在前部防碰撞系统的评价中同样获得“优”评,在加上获得“良”评的儿童座椅接口易用度以及前大灯照明效果,最终该车获得了...全文: m.weibo ​
[# # every news [IIHS new achievement Toyota Avalon appraised as +) recently, the insurance institute for highway safety (IIHS) released the Toyota Avalon collision results. Tested, Toyota Avalon scored full excellent grades in collision segment in the project, at the same time in the evaluation of the front collision system also won the best, good rating from the combined with the child seat interface easy and headlamps lighting effect, finally it got... The full text m. eibo]

汽车之家为广大汽车消费者提供买车、用车、养车及与汽车生活相关的全程服务,以全面、专业、可信赖、高互动性的内容,多层次、多维度地影响最广泛的汽车消费者,是中国最具价值的互联网汽车营销平台。

新浪汽车:
    #车圈话题#上次有网友还发现ofo的工作人员扔摩拜...这次网友拍到北京十里河地铁站外,负责投放摩拜的工作人员也是这么对待小黄车的...[摊手]tRKysR ​
[# #.so topic last time some netizens also found ofo staff throw the worship... The net friend photographed ten mile river of Beijing subway station, responsible for the launch of the worship staff is also so to treat yellow car... [stand hand] tRKysR]

最新鲜的汽车资讯;
最快速的新车报道;
最全面的车型数据;
最及时的车型报价;
最丰富的汽车活动。

优酷:
    #快男鲜看团#快男之路并不顺利的王梓宁在昨天的比赛中被淘汰了[泪]但你在这个舞台的努力我们看得到的,你的每一首歌都能让我们惊喜[心]不是没有实力,只是比赛残酷,来日希望看到更好的你[爱你] tRKUzb ​
[# quick male fresh see group # Wang Zining mens road is not smooth in the match yesterday was eliminated [tears] but your efforts we see in this stage, each song can you let us surprise [heart] is not without strength, just brutal game, hope to see youlove you better future tRKUzb]

新浪新闻客户端:
    最近英国发生一件争议性很大的法院判决,牵动着包括梅姨在内很多人的心…个月大的婴儿查理患有一种特殊的致命遗传病,医院判断治疗只会延长他的痛苦。然而父母不肯,想要用尽所有办法拯救自己的孩子,最终被英国最高法院驳回。所以究竟是父母,还是政府更有权决定婴儿的生命呢?tRKzEzg ​
[Britain recently a controversial court, affects a lot of people, including MeiYi heart... Months old babies Charlie with a special kind of fatal genetic disease, judging hospital treatment will only prolong his pain. Parents would not, however, want to try all way to save his child, was the UKs Supreme Court rejected. So what exactly is the parents, or the government more has the right to decide the babys life? tRKzEzg]

只想做一只人见人爱的客户端

冷笑话精选:
    听说玩抖音上的这个#和小黄人比嘴速# 活动,能pk掉小黄人的都是铁肺!你的肺活量行吗?[偷笑]tRKyggM ​
[Heard that play trill on the # # and yellow mouth speed than activity, can cut the yellow people are iron lung! Your lungs? [laughing] tRKyggM]

毒舌嘴贱会吐槽,颜正腿长一米八,八块腹肌的冷哥就是我!

优酷:
    #陪你慢慢变老# 这是优酷君眼里最好的爱情,希望每个人都能嫁给爱情[爱你] ​
[# # grow old with you this is the best love youku juns eyes, hope everyone can marry to lovelove you]

新浪新闻客户端:
    处置这种事故很多,消防员也积累了丰富的经验,肯定想尽快救出,但还要考虑保障孩子不受二次伤害,有时候还需要群众理解呀!
[A lot of the disposal of the accident, firefighters also accumulated rich experience, must want to rescue as soon as possible, but also consider safeguard children from secondary damage, sometimes also need people to understand!]

只想做一只人见人爱的客户端

猫扑:
    【女儿被同学堵不让上厕所,妈妈插手打人被拘受罚】澎湃新闻的... 堵着不让上厕所,还被打了几下,听到女儿说起被同班小朋友欺负,妈妈田某火冒三丈。第二天刚到幼儿园,她就冲向那位小朋友一顿打,出了心中的怨气。监控拍下了整个打人过程,对方家长看到后无法接受,立即报警。民警对田某进行说服教育...全文: m.weibo ​
[The daughter had been blocked by the students not to go to the toilet, mother stepped in to hit persons detained punished 】 surging news... Blocking the dont let go to the toilet, have also been played a few times, heard her daughter speak of bullied by her children, mom Tian Mou fire emit three zhangs. The next day just to kindergarten, she rushed to the children a play, out of her mind. Monitor took the beating process, after the other parents see can not accept, immediately report to the police. Civilian police to persuade Tian Mou education... The full text m. eibo]

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