冷笑话精选：
宝宝被爸爸打屁屁后……
“好气哦！感觉好几顿奶都喝不下了！”[摊手]
tRNFBhh
[After baby is father play fart fart... < br > spirit! Feeling several times cant drink the milk! [stand hand] < br > tRNFBhh]
毒舌嘴贱会吐槽，颜正腿长一米八，八块腹肌的冷哥就是我！
陳意涵：上次穿鞋沒穿襪 腳破皮了 這次穿襪⋯跑破了 古北水鎮 風景很美 坡很多 石頭路 用此破襪來紀念一下
[Dont wear socks to wear shoes last time Feet broken skin The wear socks.. Run broke gubei water town scenery is very beautiful A lot of stone road slope Use the broken hose to commemorate it]
每一件生活的小事 都有人分享的感覺還真是令人開心～ (工作請洽 @qq 林小姐)
靳东：在這物慾橫流的人世間
人生一世實在是夠苦
你存心做一個與世無爭的的老實人吧
人家就會利用你欺侮你
你稍有才德品貌
人家就會嫉妒你排擠你
你大度退讓
人家就侵犯你損害你
你要不與人爭 就得與世無求
同時還要維持實力準備鬥爭
你要和別人和平共處
就先得和他們周旋
還得準備隨時吃虧
—楊絳
[In this materialistic world < br > I of life is hard enough < br > you to do a placid Candide < br > the somebody else will use you to bully you < br > your noble appearance slightly < br > the somebody else will envy you exclude you magnanimous concession < br > < br > you somebody else can you damage your < br > if you dont argue with people Have to through out the world < br > < br > you need to prepare to maintain power struggle at the same time to peaceful coexistence with others < br > just have to deal with them < br > have cheated at any time to prepare. < br > - Yang jiang]
戲劇 行者 jindstudio@
头条新闻：#视野#【超燃！内蒙古大学军训汇演震撼全场】月日上午，内蒙古大学新生军训落下帷幕，在军训汇报暨开学典礼上，新生摆出“内大”、“”以及建校“-”字样，喜迎内蒙古大学建校周年！现场视频超震撼！戳↓tRNFgOMd
[View # # 【 super burning! In Inner Mongolia university of military training performance shock full] on Monday morning, Inner Mongolia university freshman military training, the training report and opening ceremony, posing as a new big, and its - , celebrates its Inner Mongolia universitys anniversary! The scene video super shock! Stamp left tRNFgOMd]
每日播报全球各类重要资讯、突发新闻，全天小时即时发布。欢迎报料、投稿，请发私信或者邮件：xlttnews@vip.sina。
央视新闻：【#开学啦# 还记得那年送你的那个身影吗？[心]】近日，全国各高校相继开学。父母送子女读书，重的行李总在他们手上，一到宿舍就忙着收拾打扫的也是他们……你可曾记得他们身上的汗水、忙前忙后的身影？可怜天下父母心！为爱转发！（图自视觉中国）
[【 # # school? Do you remember that year to send you the form? [heart]] recently, the national various universities have opened. Parents to send their children to read, heavy luggage in their hands, always one to dormitory was busy packing clean and they... Have you ever remember them sweat, a bustling scene? All the parents poor heart! For the love forward! (FIG. Since visual China)]
“央视新闻”微博是中央电视台新闻中心官方微博，是央视重大新闻、突发事件、重点报道的首发平台。
YouTube热门：小哥偷偷塞给流浪汉爷爷美金，之后发生的事，让人感动落泪。“只有曾坠入深渊的人才能理解他人的痛苦！”[泪]tRNFTUE
[Sneaking little elder brother to the a tramp grandpa dollars, after what happened, let a person was moved to tears. Only a person who fall in the deep can understand the pain of others! [in] tRNFTUE]
微博知名视频评论博主商务洽谈QQ：，，邮箱：vvstar@inmyshow。
人民网：【产妇跳楼事件监控曝光 医院家属各执一词】@榆林一院 监控显示，产妇第一次蹲坐并跪倒。不到十分钟，产妇第二次跪倒在地。院方表示，产妇曾求助家属同意剖宫产遭拒。坠楼产妇家属二度发声：监控中不是下跪，是疼痛时的下蹲动作。tRNFXkBe @新京报我们 tRNFpY
[【 jumping event monitoring maternal exposure Hospital families argue 】 @ yulin a courtyard, according to the monitoring maternal squats and kneel for the first time. Less than ten minutes, maternal second kneel on the floor. Hospital officials said the women had help family members agreed to cesarean section was rejected. Hanging maternal family second voice not kneel in the monitor, squat is pain. We tRNFpY tRNFXkBe @ the Beijing news]
报道全球 传播中国
当时我就震惊了：这口骚气满满的狗粮，一定是我打开的方式有问题！[允悲]tRNFYBU
[The SAO gas mouth full of dog food, must be have a problem is the way I open! [allow sad] tRNFYBU]
深扒娱乐热点，每天给你惊喜
共青团中央：【清华驻村博士：警惕“泛清真化”背后的阴谋】近几年我们身边出现了一些奇怪的现象，甚至出现了所谓“清真牙膏”“清真纸”“清真化妆品”等。简单地说，“清真”概念已被曲解和利用、被放大、被泛化了。我们要准确认识“泛清真化”的危害及其背后的阴谋，避免“泛清真化”和宗教极端成为进步的障碍。
[【 tsinghua residency Dr Will alert the conspiracy behind the halal 】 in recent years there have been some strange phenomena around us, even the so-called halal toothpaste halal paper halal cosmetics and so on. Say simply, halal concept has been misunderstood and use, be amplified, is generalized. We should accurately understand the harm of halal and behind the plot, to avoid halal and religious extreme is a barrier to progress. ]
小野妹子学吐槽：说出了我的心声...反正都要被吐槽，不如自己随便过过[拜拜]
[Out of my heart... It will be fun, is literally knocked [bynum]]
图文多转自日文推特，附以无责任吐槽。关注后易节操丧失、下限消亡、性向逆转、生理失调。
黄健翔：国足用血性在被淘汰的结果下竟然赢了人心，可以算是一次成功的失败，终于避免了民众把足球当作公厕和街头垃圾桶。这是国足和观众两方面共同的进步。接下来要避免的是，足球一不小心变成了超女选秀全民做主人人评委个个专家。比如所谓青训话题，足球系统工程话题，职业竞赛体系和国家队建设话题，都不能
[The teams elimination with hemorrhagic won the result of the heart, can be regarded as a successful failure, finally to avoid their football as public toilets and street trash can. This is the teams and the audience two aspects of common progress. Next to avoid is, football accidentally becomes a super girls draft national family everyone judges all experts. Such as the so-called youth topic, football systems engineering subject, professional competition system and country construction subject, cannot]
无良媒以接欢兮，托微博而通辞——我就是黄老邪
回忆专用小马甲：狗善和泽善你站哪边？？？我跟你们不一路，我拥护狗泽！
[Is good at the dog and jersey which side you stand??????? Im not with you all the way, I support dog jersey! ]
《愿无岁月可回头》
思想聚焦：一些提升自我的学习网站良心推荐！
[Some self learning website conscience recommend! ]
成长，就是一个不断觉得以前的自己是个傻逼的过程！QQ
凤凰新闻客户端：【医院监控视频首度曝光！产妇跳楼事件：到底是谁不同意剖腹产？】继医院凌晨公布监控截图后，监控视频首度曝光，月日时分，产妇第一次走出分娩中心，表情十分痛苦。时分，她第一次蹲坐并跪倒。不到十分钟，产妇第二次跪倒在地。院方表示，产妇曾下跪求剖腹产，但遭到家属拒绝。对此，产妇
[【 hospital monitoring video first! Jump off a building events maternal exactly is who dont agree with cesarean section? After hospital screenshot released early monitoring, surveillance video exposure for the first time, June , mothers for the first time out of the delivery center, expression is very painful. , for the first time she squats and kneel. Less than ten minutes, maternal second kneel on the floor. Hospital officials said the women who kneel for cesarean section, but were refused by the family. To this, the maternal]
Happy张江：好触心！！难产孕妇跳楼身亡：#产妇曾下跪求剖腹产#，不到怀孕生孩子，都不知道自己嫁的是人还是狗。。[伤心]#顺产还是剖腹产# cr.摇铃铛 tRNFkI
[Touch the heart good!!!!! During childbirth pregnant woman leapt to his death # # maternal ever kneel for cesarean section, conceive, and bear children, I dont know she is a person or a dog.. [sad] # # natural birth or cesarean section cr. Shake the bell tRNFkI]
每日搜集整理发布各类新鲜资讯，欢迎私信
新浪娱乐：【何润东回应台湾腔争议 不介意吴聘戏份少 】被问是否遗憾《那年花开月正圆》吴聘戏份少？@何润东 回应称：“还好啦，他的精神贯穿整部剧。”至于“台湾腔”争议，何润东承认普通话没那么标准：“但如果找配音演员，他必须模仿我当时的语气当时的情感，模仿的肯定没原汁原味来的好。”
谈及合作多次的
[【 he rundong response cavity controversy in Taiwan Dont mind hire fewer scenes 】 wu asked whether regret that year month is round flowers wu hire fewer scenes? @ he rundong responded well, his spirit throughout the play. As for the Taiwan cavity controversy, he rundong admits mandarin is not so standard but if find voice actors, he must imitate my mood at that time, emotion, then imitate the certainly not authentic. < br > < br > about cooperation of many times]
新浪娱乐
赵YINGBO：一只呆吧啦
[A stay!!]
工作邮箱：zhaoyingbo@
噗嗤大叔：史上最全婚礼流程！早晚用的到[doge]
[Most complete history of the wedding process! Use morning and evening to [doge]]
公眾號：朱门大叔 （ID：ouba ）
何穗：嘻嘻嘻嘻。哈哈哈哈。
[Hee hee hee hee. Ha ha ha ha. ]
一个幸运的普通人。 工作联系：suihe@ 微信公众号：suihe_weixin
LU一丝：#我们都爱小棕瓶#最近真的超累，每天睡几个钟头就要起来，熬夜加上压力大皮肤就好干燥！！
听说最近好像很流行安瓶装精华，好处是包装设计更卫生。用量好控制，外出携带也方便。毕竟精华通常都是护肤品中最贵的一类，氧化失去活性就太可惜啦。
这次旅行很明智的带上了雅诗兰黛小棕瓶家族创新的
[# # we all sensitivity to brown bottle recently really very tired, sleep a few hours a day is up, it is good to stay up late and stressed skin dry!!!!! < br > I heard recently seemed very popular bottled essence, more health benefits is packaging design. Dosage control, carrying out is convenient. Essence, after all, is usually a protect skin to taste the most expensive in the category, the oxidation loss of activity will be a shame. < br > this trip very sensible took the little brown bottle estee lauder family of innovation]
破产少女，微信订阅号：lovelovemocha
天天美食推荐：好吃到根本停不下来的葱烧鲫鱼，鱼肉鲜滑，葱香浓郁，看着就想吃~[馋嘴] tRNFDspI
[Good to dont stop scallion crucian carp, fish fresh and smooth, green incense rich, want to eat ~ [available] tRNFDspI looked at]
新浪微博最大的美食基地。每天推荐不同的美食做法，尝尽世界美味，感受舌尖上的中国！商务洽谈QQ：，，邮箱：vvstar@inmyshow
财经网：【产妇跳楼事件监控曝光：疼痛难忍曾两次跪倒】榆林第一医院绥德院区分娩中心大厅监控显示，月日时分，产妇马某某第一次走出分娩中心，表情痛苦。时分，她第一次蹲坐并跪倒。不到十分钟，产妇第二次跪倒在地。院方称，产妇曾求助家属同意剖宫产，但遭拒。对此产妇家属不认可，他们称是院方
[[by monitoring maternal exposure pain twice kneel 】 first hospital, yulin, suide CGMH childbirth, according to the monitoring center hall, February nd maternal horse someone for the first time out of the delivery center, face the pain. , for the first time she squats and kneel. Less than ten minutes, maternal second kneel on the floor. According to the hospital maternal had help family members agreed to cesarean section, but was rejected. Maternal family members do not recognise it, they said is the hospital]
商务合作： 廖先生 QQ ： 邮箱：kailiao@caijing
匪我思存：发布了头条文章：《对不起，我不是一个完美受害者》 tRNsewU
[Released the headline Im sorry, Im not a perfect victim tRNsewU]
不看@，不看未关注私信。采访、版权、影视等事宜请联系吴小姐：wudan@membook
我Hold不住了：一些超实用的生活小技能，让家里的旧物焕然一新~
[Some small super practical life skills, make the old look brand-new]
一个爱生活的吃货~
微博等级：你经历过绝望吗？[笑cry][笑cry]
[You have seen despair? [laughing cry] [laugh cry]]
微博等级官方微博
神笔狗粮：买一只放在办公室，无聊的时候可以捏捏tRNFkHtf
[Buy one in the office, bored can be squeezed tRNFkHtf]
一个只为脑洞的狗粮君 合作请私信
笑话：一位国外网友发现一只松鼠经常到他家院子里闲逛，于是他设计了一些小小障碍，松鼠通过后就能吃到松子。并一天天增大难度，但这些都阻挡不了松鼠吃松子的决心。。。。两周后它俨然变成了。。。[哈哈]#搞笑#
[A foreign net friend found a squirrel often hang out in his yard, and he designed some small obstacles, squirrel passed can eat to pine nuts. Difficulty and increase day by day, but these could not prevent the squirrels eat pine nuts determination... Two weeks later it turned out to be... # # ha ha funny]
笑话菌，你每天的益生菌！！！ 欢迎投稿！合作互推Q
人民日报：四款美味又快手的炒饭，尤其适合时间匆忙的上班族和不爱吃蔬菜的小朋友！[憧憬]马住，赶快学起来！tRNEFHDA
[Four delicious and quickly Fried rice, especially suitable for time in a hurry of workers and children do not love to eat vegetables! [hope] the horse to live, to learn together! tRNEFHDA]
人民日报法人微博。参与、沟通、记录时代。
豆瓣电影：【《失业生》曝张国荣“光荣岁月”特辑】由陈百强、张国荣、钟保罗、徐杰、赵雅芝等出演的青春励志电影《失业生》曝光张国荣“光荣岁月”版特辑，纪念张国荣出道周年，追忆哥哥在银幕上的经典瞬间，表达了对一代偶像的缅怀之情。影片将于月日全国复映。tRNFMdZ
[Born unemployed exposure Leslie cheung days of glory special 】 by Leslie cheung, Danny chan, clock Paul and Jeff, gigis youth inspirational film exposure Leslie cheung days of glory born unemployed version of the TV, commemorate Leslie cheung debut anniversary, reminiscing about brother on the screen of the classic moments, expressed generation idol memory of love. The film will be on the date of the rerun. tRNFMdZ]
上豆瓣，让好电影来找你！movie.douban
二更视频：岁时，李管彦平被确诊为重度脑瘫。妈妈不甘心让儿子在床上度过一生，辞去工作，变身“虎妈”对他展开严苛的训练。如今，儿子成为一名英语笔译员，还给父母创作了一首歌。妈妈说，别人会觉得我很残酷，可是我会老去，他要学会一个人生活。tRNdkLO @二更更重庆
[At the age of li GuanYanPing was diagnosed with severe cerebral palsy. Mother does not content to let the son through life in bed, quit his job, turns into a tiger mother to his tough training. Now, son to become an English translators, wrote a song to parents. Mother said, people will think I am very cruel, but I grow old, he must learn to a personal life. More chongqing tRNdkLO @ more]
发现身边不知道的美
全球奇闻趣事：国外学校是如何让家长接送孩子上下学的，强迫症表示好舒服。 tRNFUfx
[Foreign school is how to let the parents take children to and from school, obsessive-compulsive disorder, said very comfortable. tRNFUfx]
每日搜寻全球奇闻趣事，欢迎爆料。
一起神回复：仙女式哭泣 VS 哭泣的你[doge]
[The fairy type crying VS cry you [doge]]
这里是神回复、高级黑、内涵淫才聚集地，请自觉投入你的节操。
安定医院郝医生：要知道，榆林一院的产妇并不是因疼而选择跳楼的，她自杀的心理动机是偏差认知，知觉因情绪的影响而变得“概括化”，以偏概念，以一概十的不合理思维方式，过分偏注某项困难而忽略除死之外的其他解决方法。自杀虽是瞬间产生，情绪却是长期积累的，家属有不可推脱的责任，可以说这不是自杀，而是他杀
[Yulin, as you know, one of maternal isnt because of ache and choose to jump off a building, she committed suicide deviation cognitive and psychological motivation is perceived by the influence of the mood and become generalization, on the concept, with all ten of the reasonable way of thinking, too partial note a difficult and ignore other solution except death. Suicide is instant, mood is accumulated for a long time, family members have not evade responsibility, can say this is not a suicide, but he killed]
安定医院精神科，郝医生。你们大家好！
全是戏精：岁戏精小姑娘谈论对幼儿园的看法，小妹妹你很有前途[笑cry] tRNFSWW
[Age play pure little girl talking about perceptions of kindergarten, little sister you promising tRNFSWW [laugh cry]]
我就是我，颜 射 不一样的我！！广告合作QQ联系：
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