Poison tongue mouth base teases, YanZheng meter of eight legs are long, cold brother eight pieces o

冷笑话精选：
    都是旧时光
[Is the old time]

毒舌嘴贱会吐槽，颜正腿长一米八，八块腹肌的冷哥就是我！

小野妹子学吐槽：
    仿佛看到了多年后为人父母的你...所以说宅男腐女葬爱家族的珍藏都不要扔，说不定那天就传承给下一代了[允悲] ​
[You seem to see the parents after so many years... So rotten female otaku buried love family life dont throw that maybe that day is passing on to the next generation [allow sad]]

图文多转自日文推特，附以无责任吐槽。关注后易节操丧失、下限消亡、性向逆转、生理失调。

优酷：
    地球越来越暖，北极的冰都化了，冷知识还能冻得住吗？#脑洞大开博物馆#即将开业，@河森堡 热炒冷知识，就在明天，下午点不见不散！ ​
[, the earth is becoming warmer arctic ice, all can live in the cold cold knowledge? # # imaginative museum is getting ready for the opening, @ river has been hyped cold knowledge, it is tomorrow, afternoon be there or be square! ​]

冷笑话精选：
    各位小心了[作揖]
[Everybody watch out [bowing]]

毒舌嘴贱会吐槽，颜正腿长一米八，八块腹肌的冷哥就是我！

南方都市报：
    【[并不简单]超有趣的科普小动画：人一生究竟做了多少事？】人的一辈子做了许许多多的事情，这个科普小视频做了一个很有意思的统计：比如人一辈子的口水能装满-个浴缸，一辈子走的路能绕赤道.圈...这样日积月累下来，统计出来的数据真是太惊人了。@全球视频大魔王 tRnPypXw ​
[[[] are not simple science small animation super interesting people life exactly is being done? Persons lifetime to do lots of things, the popular science small video did a very interesting statistics such as a person for a lifetime of saliva can fill - a bathtub, a lifetime can go around the equator. Circle... Such accumulate over a long period come down, the calculated data are so amazing. @ global video archenemy tRnPypXw]

欢迎关注南方都市报官方微博

猫扑：
    被捉奸时，什么鬼话都能说[笑cry]
[Is sex, what nonsense can say [laugh cry]]

猫扑网唯一指定官方微博。私信开放投稿、爆料。商务合作：qq：

汽车之家：
    #家家新闻#【售.万起 新款北汽制造勇士上市】日前，北京汽车制造厂官方正式宣布款勇士正式上市，新车将搭载.L、.T汽油发动机和.L柴油发动机三套动力总成共计款车型，售价区间为.-.万元。详细售价请看下表：tRnxJbp ​
[# # every news [sale. All the new Beijing auto manufacturing listed warrior 】 a few days ago, Beijing automotive manufacturers to warriors formally listed officially announced, new car will pick up. L,. T gasoline engine and. L diesel engine a total three sets of powertrain model, price range for. -. Ten thousand yuan. Detailed price please see the table below tRnxJbp]

汽车之家为广大汽车消费者提供买车、用车、养车及与汽车生活相关的全程服务，以全面、专业、可信赖、高互动性的内容，多层次、多维度地影响最广泛的汽车消费者，是中国最具价值的互联网汽车营销平台。

BORGHESE-贝佳斯：
    国际睡眠日，World Sleep Day。睡美人，即使安然入睡依旧是美若天仙，童话中的奇境将成为现实。贝佳斯水溶矿物活颜莹漾面膜晚霜，享受梦中的变美秘籍。让肌肤一夜之间莹漾无限。嫩肤细胞轻松呼吸，沉睡肤质依旧透亮润泽。 ​
[The international sleeping Day, World Sleep Day. Sleeping beauty, even sleep is still pretty, wonderland of fairy tale will become a reality. Borghese water soluble mineral live YanYing overflow mask late frost, enjoy the dream beauty secrets. Let skin jade-like stone overflow infinite overnight. Tender skin cells easy breathing, sleep still bright skin moist. ​]

Borghese贝佳斯品牌源自意大利，品牌设计灵感及故事亦建基于此。二次世界大战之后，La Dolce Vita为意大利注入创意与活力，把意大利塑造成世界灵感摇篮。于“永恒之城”罗马居住的贝佳斯家族是意大利的名门望族，远至文艺复兴时期，贝佳斯家族在罗马已有极具影响力， 家族显赫包括公爵、皇子、皇族、政治家、教皇等位高权重的人物，于罗马向负盛名。当时意大利并未出现尊贵护肤品牌，所以贝佳斯皇妃（Princess Marcella Borghese）决定以意大利独一无二的天然资源 - 矿物温泉- 为建立护肤品牌的灵感源头，打造意大利成为顶尖美肤皇国。于六十多年的发展历程中，BORGHESE贝佳斯始终如一，致力贯彻推动天然健康美肤理念，倡导奢宠自我、探索质美生活，让现代女性在姣好的容颜中保持高贵精致的姿态。

优酷：
    #文化守夜人#作为汝官哥钧定五大名窑中的实力派，哥窑独具魅力的金丝铁线釉面开片一直令收藏家们痴迷。这一本是缺陷造就的美，险些被当成废品处理…乾隆曾为哥窑赋诗二十余首，而哥窑窑址尚未落实也成为了陶瓷史上的一个悬案，哥窑来自何处？[并不简单]@马未都 为你一一道来。tRnILlLD ​
[Cultural night watchman # # as your official brother jun five of ancient jun strength, elder brother kiln charming gold wire glazed opening has been to collectors. This one is defect of beauty, created by nearly as waste treatment... Qianlong for elder brother kiln more than , the elder brother kiln site has yet to implement became an unsolved in the history of ceramics, elder brother kiln come from? [] are not simple @ ma did not blow-by-blow account for you. tRnILlLD]

新浪汽车：
    #老司机课堂#交警叔叔：你确定真的要带我去浪漫的土耳其吗？还要一起去东京和巴黎？？？ ​[怒][怒] tRnxTXPa ​
[Old driver class # # police uncle are you sure you really want to take me to romantic Turkey? Have to go to Tokyo and Paris??????? TRnxTXPa [anger] [anger]]

最新鲜的汽车资讯；
最快速的新车报道；
最全面的车型数据；
最及时的车型报价；
最丰富的汽车活动。

优酷：
    易烊千玺 消防宣传大使 街舞毛巾用处多
消防宣传大使@TFBOYS-易烊千玺 来教学了， #这就是街舞#一毛巾多用！跳街舞晋级需要毛巾，遇到危险逃生更需要毛巾。遇到危险逃生的时候，用湿毛巾捂住口鼻你学会了么？[并不简单][并不简单] ​
[Jackson Fire control propaganda ambassador hip-hop towel to use < br > fire control propaganda ambassador @ TFBOYS - Jackson to teaching, # # this is the street dance a multi-purpose towel! Breakdance promotion need towels, danger escape more need a towel. Escape when in danger, use a wet towel to cover your nose and mouth you learned? [is not simple] [] are not simple]

但斌：
    转发微博
[Forwarding microblogging]

一个普通、真诚、热爱生活的人

但斌：
    @谢菲-sophia即将成为历史
[@ blades - Sophia will become history]

一个普通、真诚、热爱生活的人

但斌：
    @龙笑天zy贸易战就这么开始了吗？@唐史主任司马迁初级产品是川普的票仓，一定要精准打击👊
[@ dragon laugh day beginning zy trade war? @唐史主任司马迁初级产品是川普的票仓，一定要精准打击👊]

一个普通、真诚、热爱生活的人

但斌：
    @涌乐泉私募证券投资基金@股道热肠也转发微博
[@ chung LeQuan private securities investment fund @ fields is also forwarding microblogging good Joe]

一个普通、真诚、热爱生活的人

但斌：
    @闫建云转发微博
[@ 闫建云 forwarding microblogging]

一个普通、真诚、热爱生活的人

小浪同学爱吐槽：
    【男子半夜在病房将女友割喉致死 曾强奸前女友入狱】年月日凌晨点，睡在医院病床上的李艳艳被“割喉”，经抢救无效死亡。被指控行凶的，是自称爱她的男子吴小成。案发前多天，吴小成将李艳艳殴打成轻伤，后者因此住院[伤心]↓↓近日，法院对此案作出一审判决↓↓tRnJxfP ​
[The man in the middle of the night to his girlfriend in the ward cutthroat death had raped his former girlfriend in jail 】 (date) (month) (year) point in the morning, sleep in a hospital bed yan-yan li was cutthroat, after the rescue invalid death. Accused of crime, is claimed to love her man xiao-cheng wu. Many days before the crime, xiao-cheng wu yan-yan li beaten into minor injuries, which therefore [sad] left left hospital recently, make the first-instance judgment on the case to the court left left tRnJxfP]

国事家事天下事，事事关心。

但斌：
    @冰激淋一样的向日葵：玛德，真不要脸，是不是中国也可以以同样的理由来限制思科，苹果等等，贸易平等西方玩的啊
[@ ice cream like sunflower Madeleine, really shameless, whether China can also be for the same reason to limit cisco, apple and so on, western trade equality play ah]

一个普通、真诚、热爱生活的人

优酷：
    #万能图书馆# 真相快要浮出水面了，原来陆飞@cucn白客 得的是悲伤咪咪综合征，Sad Nipple Syndrome，熊思考@刘维-Julius 亲手验证，一按就流泪，比饮水机还敏感[泪]可是那官方打码也太逗了吧！[哈哈]结局真的是这样吗[并不简单]tRnxouD ​
[# # truth is close to the surface, the universal library original Liu Fei @ cucn white guest is Sad, Mimi Syndrome, Sad Nipple Syndrome, bear thinking @ liouvilles - Julius personally verify, one by tears, and the sensitive than water dispenser [tears] but the official code is too funny! (ha ha) this is really the end? [] are not simple tRnxouD]

小野妹子学吐槽：
    拉了个歌单，大家去循环吧👉 tRnJxAVF
[拉了个歌单，大家去循环吧👉 tRnJxAVF]

图文多转自日文推特，附以无责任吐槽。关注后易节操丧失、下限消亡、性向逆转、生理失调。

金山夜话博主：
    #金山夜话# tRnJxz ​
[# # jinshan night tRnJxz]

首届中国广电“台帝”，《金山夜话》主持人，记者，作家，著名情感问题专家

但斌：
    @Tiger-快消猎头-深圳海岳咨询很久不用会被收回。
[@ Tiger - fast disappear headhunters - shenzhen sea yue consulting for a long time will not be retrieved.]

一个普通、真诚、热爱生活的人

微博搞笑排行榜：
    你爱豆变成了你的男友。
现在他叫你，给他定条行事规章制度 ___________________________ ​​​
[You love beans into your boyfriend. < br > he call you now, for he act regulations ___________________________]

微博搞笑中心！每天搜罗最搞笑最好玩的微博。关注我，获得每日新鲜笑料！（欢迎合作，投稿）↖(^ω^)↗

但斌：
    @段郎说事[允悲]@北村！@樊建川@佬_牛同问！@开心oko 我只想问，这是第几任老板[阴险]
[@ period of lang masters [allow sad] @ ! @ FanJianChuan @ yankees _ cattle to ask! @ happy oko I just want to ask, this is which served as the boss [insidious]]

一个普通、真诚、热爱生活的人

玩转instagram：
    兔兔那么可爱 为什么不吸兔兔[兔子] ​
[Rabbit rabbit so lovely Why dont you suck [the rabbit rabbit]]

带你玩转最美妙最有趣的instagram~（品牌合作请私信，提供简介，谢谢！）

金山夜话博主：
    #金山夜话# 听友：事情是这样的，我 我闺蜜 他 平时我们在一块爱调侃 互怼开玩笑 因为我单身他也单身 我闺蜜就想着把我俩撮合撮合 后来我才知道我比人家大岁 女生比男生大岁 会不会差太多 我闺蜜同时给我俩说 让我俩可以试试谈谈 然后我闺蜜就把我微信给他了 他是加了我 我俩谁都没理谁 不过我们平时...全文： m.weibo ​
[# # jinshan night listening to a friend the thing is, I My best friend he at ordinary times we are in a piece of love Mutual Dui kidding Because I am single he and single Im thinking about the us matched set girlfriends Later I learned that my age is bigger than the somebody else At the age of girls than boys Will not be too much difference I said for two girlfriends at the same time Let us try to talk Then my best friend gave him my WeChat he is with me We who are ignored But we usually... The full text m. eibo]

首届中国广电“台帝”，《金山夜话》主持人，记者，作家，著名情感问题专家

但斌：
    [心][鲜花]@小散_小颜：小公举，在但老师旁边就像一个但老师的小情人[嘻嘻]
[[heart] [a flower] @ small scattered _ xiaoyan beside the small public election, but the teacher is like a little lover (hee hee) but the teachers]

一个普通、真诚、热爱生活的人

沈博阳：
    环保，是一点一滴的不浪费
环保，更是生活的理念和责任的担当🌲
“.地球一小时”
全国蛋壳公民
呼吁大家一起践行环保生活！🚌 🚌
「环保，不止熄灯一小时」[拳头] ​
[环保，是一点一滴的不浪费
环保，更是生活的理念和责任的担当🌲
“.地球一小时”
全国蛋壳公民
呼吁大家一起践行环保生活！ 🚌 🚌
「环保，不止熄灯一小时」[拳头] ​]

天使投资人，蛋壳公寓执行董事长

猫扑：
    【黑人小哥哭诉没有女朋友】这也太可怜了，哭得这么撕心裂肺，真让人很心疼......所以有没有志愿者愿意伸出援手，给他一点爱？[笑cry]tRnICLQ ​
[【 black little brother cry no girlfriend 】 this is too poor, cry so tore heart crack lung, really make people very distressed... So is there any volunteers willing to lend a helping hand, give him a little love? [laughing cry] tRnICLQ]

猫扑网唯一指定官方微博。私信开放投稿、爆料。商务合作：qq：

顶尖设计：
    如果“权力的游戏”是由迪士尼制作的 ​
[If the game of thrones is made of Disney]

职业搬砖，业余设计。

微博位置：
    祈福平安!
[Blessing of peace!]

发微博带上“位置”，在冰冷的地点留下你温暖的故事。投诉建议 fujia@staff.weibo

小野妹子学吐槽：
    特步全民跑步盛典来得明星也太多了！什么#谢霆锋##赵丽颖##林更新##汪东城#[笑而不语]干脆就发出来造福一下首页[笑而不语]这么多活生生的爱豆在现场，粉丝都快拦不住了[doge]不说了，我要举手和爱豆们互动去了！希望你们可以在特步天猫直播间tRnJciOo见到我[小黄人剪刀手]@天猫 @聚划算 ...全文： m.weibo ​
[Xtep universal running festival comes star too much! What # tse # # # # # # # li-ying zhao Lin update jiro [smiling without a word] simply send to the benefit of the home page [smiling without a word] so many living love beans at the scene, fans are going to stop [doge] dont say, Im going to put up your hands and love bean interactive! Hope you can step in mammal Tmall tRnJciOo see me [yellow people scissorhands] @ Tmall @ bargain... The full text m. eibo]

图文多转自日文推特，附以无责任吐槽。关注后易节操丧失、下限消亡、性向逆转、生理失调。

优酷：
    #电视剧烈火如歌# 优酷播放量破亿[鼓掌]携手共闯燃情江湖，烈焰飞雪“亿”同欢歌！烈火感恩有你[心]记得来@优酷 看《烈火如歌》，vip会员每周一、周四点更新集，非会员每天点更新集哟～@Dear-迪丽热巴 ​
[# # youku broadcast TV series fire song amount breakthrough [applause.] to rush, rivers lake, snow flame billion with the song! Fire have [heart] you remember Thanksgiving @ youku to see the fire song, the VIP member every Monday, four weeks update set, non-members points for updates every day oh ~ @ Dear - Dillon hot bar]

优酷：
    #这就是街舞#正火爆，每个舞者的灵魂对决都是快要溢出来的热血与青春，然而你肯定没有看到因为跳错一个动作被罚跳一百遍的菊麟，本该在当天结婚却领了离婚证的蔡亮，《这！就是街舞》纪录片#这就是舞者#来啦！讲述每个舞者背后的故事，泪点与笑点齐飞，月日周四登陆优酷，让我们一同见证这些舞者的...全文： m.weibo ​
[# # this is the street dance is popular, each face is the soul of the dancer is going to overflow to the blood and youth, however, are you sure you dont see because jumped a movement was sent wrong one hundred times of chrysanthemum , was supposed to get married but got divorce certificates in the day of Cai Liang, ! This is the street dance documentary # # this is dancers come! Tells the story behind each dancer, tears fly together with the punchline landing on Thursday February nd youku, let us together witness the dancers... The full text m. eibo]

新浪汽车：
    #解码新车# 将在月北京车展上首发亮相的爱驰纯电动超跑RG，看这外观、内饰，我表示期待看到真车[吃瓜]tRnxGXkZ ​
[# # decoding new car will be on display at the Beijing auto show in the month start love chi pure electric supercar RG, look at the exterior, interior, I expect to see a real car to eat the melon tRnxGXkZ]

最新鲜的汽车资讯；
最快速的新车报道；
最全面的车型数据；
最及时的车型报价；
最丰富的汽车活动。