冷笑话精选：
哈哈哈哈被这个蝗灾的报道笑死了！
说吧，想变成几级保护动物[doge]
tREket
[Ha ha ha ha be reported to the locust plague smile dead! < br > say, want to be a few class protected animals [doge] < br > tREket]
毒舌嘴贱会吐槽，颜正腿长一米八，八块腹肌的冷哥就是我！
片寄凉太RyotaKatayose：It was amazing show Shenzhen Day🔥🔥
我非常感谢大家的热情😢✨✨
Today, Shenzhen FINAL…💦💦
你们准备好了吗～??😆⤴️⤴️
[It was backpacks show Shenzhen Day🔥🔥
我非常感谢大家的热情😢✨✨
Today, Shenzhen FINAL… 💦💦
你们准备好了吗～?? 😆⤴️⤴️ ]
日本男子组合 GENERATIONS from EXILE TRIBE 主唱
思想聚焦：心太软的人快乐是不容易的，别人伤害她或她伤害别人都让她在心里病一场。—— 严歌苓《陆犯焉识》
[Heart is too soft people happy is not easy, others hurt her or she hurt someone let her in a heart disease. - yan geling lu made how knowledge]
成长，就是一个不断觉得以前的自己是个傻逼的过程！QQ
头条新闻：【孕妇吐槽地铁无人让座 连照顾专座都不放过】杭州一名怀孕的网友发帖吐槽称：“天天上班坐地铁，都没人给让座，现在的人真的都很冷漠。现在看看真的挺寒心的，女的自己以后也要怀孕，男的，你老婆以后就不怀孕吗？”许多暖心网友给楼主安慰，但也有人觉得没有义务让甚至应该怪老公……你怎么看？
[The pregnant woman poking fun at the subway no seats dont even pass 】 to take care of the seats in hangzhou a pregnant netizens Posting speech said go to work by subway every day, no one to give, it is very cold now. Now look really pretty chilling, later also want to be pregnant woman himself, man, you wife is not pregnant? Many a warm heart net friend give the building Lord comfort, but also some people think there is no obligation to let even to blame the husband... What do you think? ]
每日播报全球各类重要资讯、突发新闻，全天小时即时发布。欢迎报料、投稿，请发私信或者邮件：xlttnews@vip.sina。
当时我就震惊了：蝗虫：怕了怕了，告辞了中国[笑cry][笑cry] tREmJH
[Locusts afraid afraid of, leave China [laugh cry] [laugh cry] tREmJH]
深扒娱乐热点，每天给你惊喜
谷大白话：【诚实预告片吐槽奥斯卡最佳影片提名作品】喜迎奥斯卡，诚实预告片将最佳影片提名作品挨个调侃了一遍。不光演员和导演，连主持人都没放过。最亮的是最后还来了个漫改电影大颁奖，人人有份，非常热闹。tREpEtX
[【 honest trailer poking fun at the Oscar for best film works 】 celebrates its Oscar, honest trailer will best film works each speech again. Actors and directors, not only did not even pass the host. The brightest is finally change to a diffuse film awards, everyone, very lively. tREpEtX]
THERES NO『俗』WITHOUT『谷』
小野妹子学吐槽：号称世界上透明度最高的河流之一--巴西普拉塔河迎来一轮涨水泛滥，水量丰沛到步道、小桥、树木都没入水底，形成天然的地下宫...仿佛是人类消失后的美丽废土[哆啦A梦吃惊]tREyWbP
[Billed as one of the highest transparency rivers in the world - Brazil plate for a rise of water flooding, water abundant to trails, Bridges, trees are sink to the bottom, forming a natural underground palace... As if humans disappear after beautiful wasteland tREyWbP [doraemon surprised]]
图文多转自日文推特，附以无责任吐槽。关注后易节操丧失、下限消亡、性向逆转、生理失调。
紫色熄灭之纯爱扫文札记：#与紫成说##悬疑向、刑侦破案类型推文# ：做个类型推文，期待有生之年鸡总能写一个[喵喵]
[# and purple # # suspense to Lin, forensic investigation type tweet # do a type tweets, expected lifetime chicken can always write a [meow]]
孤光自照，肝胆皆冰雪。
全球健身中心：腹式呼吸法，跑步必须要知道的呼吸方法，让你越跑越轻松。。tRELqwP
[Abdominal breathing method, breathing method of running must know, let you run more and more easily. tRELqwP]
最大最全的健身微博，来自中日韩欧美等最热门的健身教程。商务洽谈QQ： ，
湖南卫视贴吧：【美贴独家】#说到街舞就能想到易烊千玺# 易烊千玺岁生日会扇子舞获顶尖舞台kinjaz称赞：动作很流畅、很棒。昨晚《这！就是街舞》易烊千玺街舞新玩法也获街舞大神黄景行等称赞，火羊宝棒棒哒！[赞][赞][赞]@TFBOYS-易烊千玺 #Nothing to Lose[音乐]# tREueU
[Sole 】 【 MeiTie # speaking of hip-hop can think of is easy Yang thousand seal # easy Yang thousand seal years old birthday party taking won the top stage kinjaz praise action is very smooth, great. Last night ! This is street dance easy Yang thousand topaz hip-hop new game also won the street dance great god dino praise, such as fire sheep treasure stick the dalai! [who] [who] [who] @ TFBOYS - Jackson # Nothing to Lose # tREueU [music]]
Hi 这里是美贴 宣传合作投稿请私信 欢迎关注微信：mangoce
张慧雯wen：无意中翻到以前的舞蹈笔记…厉害了我的雯[微笑][喵喵]
[Inadvertently turn to dance notes before... Much of my cloud patterns [smiles] [meow]]
感受当下 自由活着～💝工作邮箱：zhanghuiwenstudio@
新浪体育：虽是举手之劳，却是孩子永久的美好回忆！[心]
[Is is easy, but the child permanent good memories! [heart]]
小时滚动播报最新的体育快讯，趣闻和视频。新浪记者团带来独家图文报道。欢迎爆料、投稿，请发私信或者邮件： sports@vip.sina
呆十三：想起了当年被大人支配的惨痛经历，现在想想都会哭出声..[委屈]
tREFid
[Remembered that year dominated by bitter experience, now think of will cry aloud.. [wrong] < br > tREFid]
原ID@我的朋友是个呆B
猫扑：【舞蹈考生因身高差cm，未表演就遭淘汰：练得好没必要只看身高，我不会放弃！】月日，北京体育大学艺考现场，一名考生因身高不够遭淘汰，提前走出考场，家长们立即蜂拥而上。她还现场表演了本来为复试准备的舞蹈，现场一片叫好。她说，自己cm，考试要求必须cm以上。tREAQB
[【 dance candidates due to the difference of height cm, without performing eliminated practice well no need only look at the height, I wont give up! June , Beijing sports who take an examination of the scene, a candidate for the height is not eliminated, out of the examination room ahead of time, parents rushing immediately. She also live performance was prepared for the second interview of dance, a piece of bark at the scene. She said that she cm, the test requirements must be cm or more. tREAQB]
猫扑网唯一指定官方微博。私信开放投稿、爆料。商务合作：qq：
老树画画：但说英雄成与败，不见梅花落又开。无边春色休辜负，此时相遇怎重来？
[But said the hero success and failure, not see the plum flower open again. Boundless spring scenery Hugh fail, how to meet? ]
乱世绘本
故事馆长：十几年前的事。
一个拉面馆的老板，为人很和善，拉面馆生意挺不错的，也赚了不少钱，拉面馆离泰州火车站不是很远，经常有一个乞丐到拉面馆讨一口面吃，老板从来没有拒绝过，只要乞丐过来，不等乞丐开口，必然朝后厨喊一声“一碗兰州拉面，加大块肉。”
乞丐在那吃了几年，老板分文不收，都快成了一
[More than ten years ago. < br > < br > a noodle restaurant owner, is very kind and noodle restaurant business is very good, also made a lot of money, ramen from taizhou railway station is not far away, there are often a beggar to beg a ramen noodles to eat, my boss never refused to, as long as beggars, but before the beggar, inevitably calls after the kitchen a bowl of lanzhou noodles, increase the piece of meat. < br > < br > the beggar in the ate a few years, the boss dont accept a penny, all quick became one]
每晚为你讲故事的人，是我
韩国me2day：【Instagram】在日本开启说走就走的旅行模式的#裴秀智# 小仙女,每一张都是画报啊~[太开心] (part.)
[[them] in Japan on open said you get # # miss fairy travel patterns, each one is illustrated ~ [quite happy] (part.)]
联系邮箱 meday@qq *与韩国媒体同步的全方位韩流报道,了解韩流的最佳窗口!!!*
新京报：【唐山“教科书式耍赖”受害方未收到赔款】昨天（月日）下午，新京报记者从唐山“教科书式耍懒”受害者之子赵勇处获悉，目前仍未收到肇事者应付的近万元赔偿款。唐山中院称，正在对黄淑芬涉拒执罪是否立案进行审查。 tREvVY
[The tangshan textbook play to depend on injured party had not received reparations] yesterday (June ) afternoon, the Beijing news reporter from tangshan textbook play lazy son of the victim learned that zhao yong, are still not yet received the perpetrators to cope with nearly ten thousand yuan for compensation. Tangshan, then say, are of shu-fen huang refused is filing a review of sin. tREvVY]
一份以责任为灵魂的报纸；一份致力于记录时代步伐的报纸；一份进步、美好的报纸。新京报，品质源于责任。
杀马特强子：忧郁的眼神，唏嘘的胡渣，飘逸的长发，可能这就是帅吧 tREEgv
[Blue eyes, sighs of hu resigue, elegant long hair, probably this is handsome tREEgv]
二①，峩葒遍宇宙，二①，峩從茴巅峰。
知书少年：你可能不知道的条心理学潜.规.则.[doge]
、心里不开心，动笔写下来
这是个漂亮的疏通方法。因为“写”这个动作，本身具有觉察、及统整思绪的功用。“写”，能将情绪能量从虚无的“下意识”，提升到“意识”的层次，也就是说，由原先感觉“我心中波涛汹涌”到“我知道怎么回事了”，焦虑下降，也就
[You may not know that the article latent psychology. Gauge.. [doge] < br > < br >, not happy in my heart, write down < br > this is a pretty smooth way. Because of writing this action, itself is aware of, and the function of unifying the thoughts. Can write, knee-jerk emotional energy from nothing, ascended to the level of the consciousness, that is, from feeling my heart was choppy to I know what is going on, anxious to drop, can]
亦如少年模样。公眾號：朱门大叔 （ID：ouba）
故宫博物院：#故宫花事#梅，开百花之先，独天下而春。宫中的“梅花”，是何模样呢？ tREQvS
[# # the palace oft, may open flowers, all alone, in the spring. Palace plum blossom, is what? tREQvS]
故宫博物院是以明清两代皇宫和宫廷旧藏文物为基础建立起来的，以宫廷建筑群、古代艺术品及宫廷文化史迹为主要展示内容的大型综合性国家博物馆。
堂妈小厨：老人年纪大了，吃什么变的不再重要，真正在乎的是陪伴和关怀。今天下雨，堂妈和大头还是拖儿带女的过来陪老人一起吃饭，因为我觉得太姥姥盼着能看到我们，每一次相聚都无比珍贵！
[The old man was too old, what to eat is no longer important, really care about is to accompany and care. Its raining today, don mom and big head or tow come over for dinner with old man, because I think its grandmother looking forward to can see us, every time together is precious! ]
堂妈是个全职妈妈，职业就是母亲和妻子。自己觉得其实幸福很简单，就是和爱的人一起吃顿饭，吃饭的意义不在乎吃的是什么，只在乎和谁一起吃！
皓伦王明川：如果孩子被打了，父母该如何说教？这位教授回答的太好了，家长们一定要看看 ！[赞]#皓伦王明川# tRELWWb
[If the child is played, the parents how to teach? The professor answered too good, parents must see! [who] # # hao lun Wang Mingchuan tRELWWb]
微博为书，学习领悟，懂得自己的愚昧才有智慧。个人行为，自娱自乐。（图片来自于网络）
人民网：【女子将豪宅出租 结果万元床被尿成“地图”】小姜花多万在杭州买下一套㎡的房子，因常住北京，小姜将房子租给一位带孩子的租客罗女士。租了一年，租客不告而别，小姜赶回家发现，家里很多东西都被弄坏，万元的床被孩子尿得跟“地图”似的…租客：没欠房租。@黄金眼 tREBwL
[The woman will be a person of extraordinary powers curtilage ten thousand yuan rent results bed is urine into a map 】 version spend more than buy a set of ㎡ house in hangzhou, because living in Beijing, to lease the building version a woman took the childs tenants. Rent for a year, tenants dont accuse and dont get home version, found that many things were broken in the home, ten thousand yuan of beds are child urine as a map... Tenant didnt owe the rent. @ gold eye tREBwL]
报道全球 传播中国
史上第一最最搞：亚洲达人秀第二季冠军，比恐怖片更恐怖的魔术，全程高能。。。 大家来感受一下[污]tRELgM
[Asias got talent in the second quarter, compared to the horror film terror magic, the whole high energy... You to feel the tRELgM [pollution]]
从前有个人关注了我，然后Ta过上了幸福快乐的日子
头条新闻：#热点#【年谁最能花钱？省份人均消费超万元 京沪近万】国家统计局公布的省份年居民人均消费支出数据显示，上海、北京、天津、浙江、广东、江苏、福建、辽宁地居民人均消费支出超过万元，其中上海、北京接近万元，上海以.元位居全国首位。你去年花了多少钱？[笑而不语]
[Hot # # 【 years who can spend money? Most provinces more than ten thousand yuan per capita consumption of jinghu nearly all 】 the national bureau of statistics released by the provinces in per capita consumption expenditure, according to Shanghai, Beijing, tianjin, zhejiang, guangdong, jiangsu, fujian, liaoning per capita consumer spending more than $ten thousand, including nearly ten thousand yuan, Shanghai, Beijing to Shanghai. Yuan ranking first in the country. How much money did you spend last year? [smiling without a word]]
每日播报全球各类重要资讯、突发新闻，全天小时即时发布。欢迎报料、投稿，请发私信或者邮件：xlttnews@vip.sina。
PINK-EVER：「乳乳要是一个男生对你特别好长得也不错，可是特别矮的样子……你愿意接受么」
你们接受吗？接受最矮大概多少？？？
[Breast milk if a boy for you special quite well, but especially the appearance of the dwarf...... are you willing to accept < br > do you accept? Accept the shortest probably how many??? ]
狂更达人「我的微博我爱发啥发啥，管太多活得短」
韩国me2day：【SBS】日播出的<人气歌谣>中,#iKON# 带来
[SBS 】 【 broadcast day song > of <, # iKON# bring < Love Scenario > the charm of the stage, again congratulations kangkang a, Love is too good to listen ~ [hope] tREyKQu]
联系邮箱 meday@qq *与韩国媒体同步的全方位韩流报道,了解韩流的最佳窗口!!!*
新浪娱乐：【易烊千玺：个人风格鲜明是我的优势】#这就是街舞#播出两期，@TFBOYS-易烊千玺 从第一期的紧张心软到第二期干脆利落换了公平的新方法，得到成长。他说自己是一个跟选手平等对话的队长，暂时跟选手之间还是稍微有点距离的关系。
· 谈优势：我的个人风格会更明显些。选人更看重舞者的编舞水平。
· 谈选
[【 Jackson personal style is my advantage 】 broadcast two # # this is the street dance, @ TFBOYS - Jackson From the first issue of the tension melted into the second phase of the flat and agile in the new method of fair, grow. He said he is a player with equal dialogue captain, temporary relationship with player or a little distance between. < br > about advantage my personal style will be more obvious. More important to the candidates of dancers choreography. , < br > talk to choose,]
新浪娱乐
几米漫画情：民国才子才女的经典语录，读一读。[心]
| 张爱玲 |
、你如果认识从前的我，也许你会原谅现在的我。
、因为爱过，所以慈悲；因为懂得，所以宽容。
、于千万人之中遇见你所要遇见的人，于千万年之中，时间的无涯的荒野里，没有早一步，也没有晚一步，刚巧赶上了，那也没有别的话可说，惟有轻轻地
[Wit is a woman of the republic of China classic sayings, read it. [heart] < br > < br > | | zhang < br > < br >, if you know before me, maybe you will forgive me now. < br > < br >, because loved, so mercy; Because understand, so tolerant. < br > < br >, among ten million of people you meet those youve met, in ten million, time boundless wilderness, no early step, no later step, you happen to catch up with, that also have no other words to say, but gently]
迷宫般的城市，让人习惯看相同的景物，走相同的路线，到相同的目的地；习惯让人的生活不再变化。投稿合作QQ：
复古写真馆：岁的Ella Gross 混血萝莉 长相甜美。
[Sweet, Ella Gross half-blood girl looks. ]
推广请私信 店铺号： 公众号：xllwan
阅读手册：“ 想要活的开心 就不要与傻瓜论长短 不跟傻逼讲道理 不和三观不同的人争论是非 ”
[Want to live happy, dont and fool length does not reason with silly force wont argue with through different people are]
在这里寻找片刻的安静。QQ
管阿姨：🍗发一组最近的库存吧
[🍗发一组最近的库存吧 ]
工作联系方式： wechat pastten.taobao 十点半内衣店pasttenbeauty.taobao十点半女装店 Insauntguan
吃瓜八兔：网剧《人百分百靠外表》昨日悄悄开机了[并不简单]女团sunshine担任主角，区天瑞饰演男主之一安皓宸。来看看有没cp感[吃瓜]
[The person hundred by appearance net yesterday quietly to land a leading role and the women on the [] are not simple sunshine, area as one of the men AnHaoChen tianrui. Look at have no sense of cpeat the melon]
【娱乐不死，八卦不止】 【料全是搬运，不管真假，不爱看就走别BB】欢迎爆料~可辟谣澄清，号子或者合作可私信
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