Water rescue industry

据古书记载，京都自古以来自杀者即相当多。无论是哪一个时代，京城人的生存竞争总是比乡村人激烈。一旦遭逢无法再生活下去的不幸时，选择一死了之的人很多。例如，城内城外均遭到严重的饥馑，父母兄弟个个撒手尘寰，或丧失了至爱的妻子儿女时，人们会因厌世而自杀。

其他因官职落榜一时想不开的，被情义所逼的，因失恋而看破一切的……令人想自杀的原因真是数不胜数。更何况德川时代时还有所谓情死的，一次死两个人。

当人们想自杀时，最简便的方法似乎是投河。这个不需去查看统计学者的自杀调查表，只要对自杀这档事，稍为认真思索过的人即能察觉才对。遗憾的是，京都没有适当的投河场所。鸭川当然死不了，因为最深的地方也不及一公尺。因此，阿俊与传兵卫（译注：木偶净琉璃剧的一出情死戏，主角井筒传兵卫杀死情敌武士后，与娼妓阿俊双双在鸟边山寻死的故事）才会情死在鸟边山（译注：平安时代的火葬场）。其他大多选择上吊自杀。那个时代，当然没有不幸遭车祸死亡的。

另外，非选择投身自杀不可的人，可从清水舞台（译注：清水寺，建立于西元七九八年，平安时代以后被瞻仰为观世音菩萨的灵地，上演传统剧的舞台被建立在陡峭的断崖上）跳下去。俗说：“抱着从清水舞台投身的心情”（译注：意谓“下了豁出性命的决心”），这其实是有根据的比喻。

不过，若真目睹过舞台下那山涧岩石上的碎烂尸体，或曾听人描述过惨状的人，即使再喜爱跟潮流，也会犹豫不前。因此，一些非选择投河自杀不可的人，只能学阿半与长右卫门（译注：木偶净琉璃剧的一出情死戏，年轻女孩阿半与半老男人长右卫门的悲恋剧情），迢迢走至桂川，不然就得越过逢阪山至琵琶湖，或到嵯峨的广泽池去如愿。

对一些想在死前尽情享乐一阵子的情死者来说，这段路程或许不算什么，但那些一刻也不想再待在这世上的人，实在没有闲情走这段十多公里远的路。所以，这些人大多选择上吊自杀。也因此，一些常在圣护院之森或纠森（译注：下鸭神社内的树林）捡拾米槠籽的孩童，常会冷不防撞见一具吊在半空中的尸体而魂不附体。

话虽如此，自古以来京都人还是有很多人选择了自杀。即使是所有自由都被剥夺了的人，也至少残存有自杀的自由。被捕入狱的人，也能选择最后一条路。就连双手双足都被绑住无法动弹的人，只要持有极度的克己心，也能强迫自己不呼吸而自尽身亡。

总而言之，京都没有适当的投河场所，这是事实。不过，从古至今，想自杀的人们还是绞尽脑汁如愿了。虽然没有适当的投河场所，但自杀者的比例，并不逊于江户（译注：东京）或大阪。

时代跨入明治以后，京都府桢村首长大兴水渠土木工程，自琵琶湖引水进京。此工程，不但带给京都市民水运方便，也让京都市民享有自来水的恩泽，同时更提供了适当的投河场所给京都市民。

水渠大约有二十公尺宽，是个相当不错的投河自杀场所。若在深海海底浮游着，任各种鱼类叼啄着自己的尸体，恐怕无论是任何人，光想像也会感到呕心。所以大凡一般投河自杀的人，都希望即使死了，也最好在适当的时机被人发现尸体，再打捞上来吊丧。针对这点来讲的话，水渠实在是个最佳场所。

水渠从蹴上经过二条，再顺着鸭川河边流至伏见。不论是何处，水深大约都有三公尺左右，清澈见底。而且两岸种植有杨柳，夜晚时瓦斯灯青光朦胧。鸭川对面还能传来先斗町（译注：京都鸭川西岸的闹区）一带的琴声弦歌。背后是静默横躺着的东山（译注：京都东方以大文字山为主峰的山峦，山脚下有多数的神社与寺庙）。雨后的夜晚，两岸边的霓虹灯光，更会红红绿绿地映照在水面上。

如此美丽的水渠夜景，往往会使自杀者萌生一种罗曼蒂克的气氛，让自杀者消却对死亡的恐惧，而恍恍惚惚地纵身投入水中。

只是，无论自杀者寻死之意再如何坚毅，当其带着全身重量落到水面那一瞬间，也均会发出悲鸣。这是人贪生怕死的本能呻吟。不过，既然人都跳下去了，又有何办法？跳下去后，一般大多会溅起一阵飞沫沉入水中，再浮出水面，此时，投河者心中只有想得救的本能存在。因此他会胡乱伸手抓掴河水、拍打水面、拼命挣扎、痛苦呻吟、拳打脚踢。然后四肢渐渐失去力量，再坠入神智不清的状况而丧生，不过，若此时有人丢绳子入水，投河者大多会不假思索地伸手抓住绳子。当投河者抓住绳子时，他心中不会浮出投河前的觉悟与被抢救后的后悔。只有想得救的强烈本能存在着。因此，我们绝对不能嗤笑自杀者临死前求救，或抓住绳子的这种矛盾心理。

总之，自从京都出现适当的投河场所后，想自杀的人大多会投身于水渠。

从水渠被捞出的横死者尸体年数量，有时甚至会高达百多人。水渠流域中，寻死的最佳场所是武德殿（译注：一八九九年落成的武艺馆）附近一座凄寂的木桥。水渠中沿着倾斜面缆车旁一路往下奔流的水势，即使流至冈崎公园仍会馀势犹存地绕着公园转。木桥正座落于水流与公园分道扬镳之处。右手方可见瓦斯灯寂寥地映照出雾霭灿然的平安神宫院内的树林，左手方是几户门窗紧闭的空寂人家。所以平日悄无人声。因此越过这座桥栏杆投河自杀的人很多。看来，从桥上投河比从岸边入河，较能满足自杀者心中潜在的演戏愿望吧。

只是，木桥下流八、九公尺左右的水渠岸边，有一间茅屋。每逢有人从桥上投河自杀时，自茅屋内即会冲出一个身材极为矮小的老媪。投河自杀的时间若在夜晚十二点之前，老媪的抢救方法大致都一成不变。亦即手中一定握着一支长竹竿，再将竹竿伸往河中发出呻吟声之处。通常会有反应。若没反应，只要追赶着水声与呻吟声，连连探出竹竿即行。当然偶尔也会有毫无反应任水势漂流下去的例子，但十之八九竹竿彼端通常都会有反应。

待老媪将投河者救至岸边时，看热闹的人群中，也一定夹杂着某个好心跑到三百公尺远的派出所去通报事件的男人。若季节正逢冬天，那就必须生火取暖，但若是夏天，则只要让投河者吐出河水，再帮他擦擦身子，投河者多半即能恢复精神自己跟随警员行至派出所。而通常也都是警员向投河者教诲两三句话，投河者则支支吾吾地陪罪道歉后即了事。

像这种抢救人命的例子，一个月后，政府会颁发一张表扬状与一圆五十分钱左右的奖金给抢救者。老媪每次领取了奖金后，总会先供奉在神龛前，再击两三次掌，然后拿到邮局存款。

第四回内国博览会（译注：明治政府为振兴国内产业所开办的产物博览会，始于一八七七年东京上野公园，终于一九零三年第五回大阪博览会）在冈崎公园被举办时，老媪在茅屋原处开了家小茶馆。虽只是卖些糖果点心或水果之类的小茶馆，但收入相当不错，因此博览会的建筑物渐渐被拆毁后，老媪仍持续着她的茶馆生意。这也可说是第四回博览会闭幕后存留下来的唯一纪念物。老媪的丈夫已死，她一直跟女儿相依为命。零钱逐渐积多后，先前的小茅屋也变成目前这栋整洁清爽的住屋了。

老媪最初发现有人自桥上投河时，惊慌得手足无措。想大声呼人，附近又没有人影。即使运气好凑巧有人经过，那时投河者也早已被卷入激烈的水势中而行踪不明了。此时，老媪只能凝视着黑暗的水面，口中喃喃念佛。但是，老媪如此耳闻目睹的自杀者，不仅是一两人。通常是两个月一次，有时甚至是一个月两次，老媪会听到自杀者的悲鸣。那声音听起来像是地狱里未能超度的亡魂之呻吟，令懦怯的老媪难以忍受。于是，老媪才下定决心抢救这些投河者。

老媪第一次鼓足勇气并绞尽脑汁用竹竿抢救成功的，是一个二十三岁的男人。那是个因盗用了主人家的五十圆公款，想以死来陪罪的懦弱男人。警员谴责他轻举妄动后，那男人即表示愿意悔改并继续努力工作。一个月后，老媪收到京都府政府寄来的传唤通知，领回了奖金。当时的一圆五十分钱对老媪来说，是一笔巨款。她再三考虑过后，才决定把钱存进当时才刚稍稍盛行起来的邮政储蓄。

那以后，老媪就拼命救人。而且抢救技术也逐渐高明起来。只要一听到水声与悲鸣，老媪即会翻身而起冲出后门。然后抓起搁立在后门边的竹竿，像个渔夫拿着尖矛准备扎鲤鱼般地摆出架式，凝视着水面，再巧妙地探出竹竿至自杀者面前。几乎所有的投河者都会伸手揪住被探至眼前的竹竿。然后老媪再使尽气力打捞上来。

若有凑巧路过的男人想帮老媪时，老媪会很不高兴。因为她觉得那人好像侵害到自己的特权似的。如此，老媪自四十三岁那年到五十八岁的今日，总共抢救了五十多条性命。因此授奖的手续也非常简化，只需一周即能领取奖金。府政府的公务员总是笑道：“阿婆您又来了。”再把奖金颁给老媪。老媪也失去当初欣喜若狂的感激情怀，就像自茶馆客人手中接过豆沙糕钱一样，只回一句：“谢谢。”即了事。

当世间一般景气旺盛，接连两三个月都没有投河者时，老媪总会觉得有点心痒难挠。女儿向她要钱想买布料时，老媪也会回女儿说，等下回领奖金时再买。那时是六月末，照往例来说，应该是投河者最多的旺季，却不知为何竟没人投河。老媪每晚和女儿铺棉被排枕头时，总会倾耳细听河面的动静。到了十二点仍无动静时，才喃喃道了一句：“今晚又不行了。”这才死心地闭上眼。

老媪认为拯救投河者是一件非常有意义的事。她在跟茶馆客人聊家常时，时常这么说：“像我这样的人，也救了不少条性命，死后一定可以上天堂了。”当然没有人跟她唱反调。

不过老媪心中仅有一点不满。那就是被抢救的人，罕得有人向老媪道谢。他们在警员面前虽会行礼道谢，却没人会向老媪说谢词。更没人于事后专程再度来致谢的。老媪心中暗忖：“真是枉费我救了他们一条命，这些人也实在太无情了。”

某夜，老媪救了一个十八岁的女孩。那女孩恢复神智发现自己被救过来后，不顾一切地哭天抢地起来。警员好不容易才说服她一道走往派出所时，途经那座木桥，不料那女孩又趁警员不注意时，再度跃身跳进河里。只是，那女孩竟出奇地又被老媪探出的竹竿救上来了。

老媪望着二度被警员带走的女孩的背影，喃喃叹道：“不管跳几次，人毕竟总是想求生的。”

老媪年近六十时，依旧只要耳闻水声与悲鸣声，即马上往河中探出竹竿。也依旧没有任何一个自杀者会拒绝揪住眼前的竹竿。老媪一直认为那些人是衷心想得救，所以才会揪住被探出的竹竿。老媪一直也认为，既然抢救的都是一些衷心想得救的人，那么她做的也一定是无以伦比的好事。

今年春天，老媪十数多年来的平静生活，首遭危机。问题出在她那个二十一岁的女儿身上。女儿长相虽有点粗俗，但皮肤白晳，表情妩媚动人。

老媪本来计划等某个远房亲戚的次男服完兵役后，将招他入赘，再拿出三百多圆的存款做为本钱，合力把茶馆扩大。这是老媪的愿望与期盼。

可是，女儿却彻底破坏了老媪的期盼。她跟一个自今年二月起，在熊野通二条下那间熊野座小剧场上演戏剧，名叫岚扇太郎的巡回演出艺人，陷入老生常谈的男女关系。扇太郎花言巧语地教唆女儿偷出母亲的存摺，自邮局提取所有的存款后，双双远走高飞了。

老媪除了惊愕与绝望以外，一无所有。只剩下茶馆里不满五圆的商品，以及一些衣物。不过老媪若依旧把茶馆开下去，理应不会流落街头的。只是老媪已万念俱灰。

她等了两个月，盼望女儿会捎来讯息，却以徒劳告终。她失去继续活下去的精力。于是，想到死。她考虑了好几个晚上，终于下定投河自杀的决心。如此，不但可以解脱难以忍受的绝望，也可儆戒女儿。她选择了已住习惯的住家附近那座木桥，做为投河场所。老媪认为，自那桥上投河自杀的话，一定没人会干扰她的。

某天夜晚，老媪终于伫立在那座桥上。她脑中不断浮出迄今为止自己抢救过来的自杀者的脸孔，但那些脸孔，却彷佛都挂着一副奇异的、嘲讽的笑容。不过，也多亏她看过无数的自杀者，所以已将自杀这种行为视为家常便饭，心里不怎么恐惧。于是，老媪神志恍惚地自栏杆滑落般地跳入河中。

当老媪不期然地回过神来时，只见四周围着警员与一大堆看热闹的人。这些人都是她平日率领的集团，只是她的位置稍稍调换了一下而已。看热闹的人群中，甚至有人想不通警员的身边怎么不见往常一定在的老媪。

老媪以一种无以名状的似羞耻，又似气愤的不愉快感情，环视着四周。她意外地发现警员身边那个往常自己应站立的位置，竟然站立个肤色黝黑的四十左右的男人。当她察觉正是那个男人抢救了自己时，愤恨得真想上前去揪打那个男人。老媪宛如刚舒舒服服地睡着了，竟又被狠狠地叫醒来般，怒火中烧。

那男人似乎丝毫未察觉老媪的心情，一昧地向警员说道：“若再晚了一步，恐怕就来不及了。”这是老媪往常经年累月向警员说的句子。口气中，明显地流露出救助了人命的自豪。

老媪发现自己衰老的肉体暴露在众目睽睽之中，赶紧拉拢胸口与下摆，心中却熊熊燃烧着一把羞耻与愤恨的怒火。熟识的警员说道：“应该救人的你怎么变成让别人来救你？不行啊。”老媪充耳不闻地匆匆逃回自己的家。警员随后进来，教诲了老媪几句，这也是老媪早就听过无数遍，听都听腻了的句子。此时，老媪又发现敞开着的门外，以那个四十男人为首，聚集了一群看热闹的人。老媪疯狂地冲过去，猛烈地关上门。

那以后，老媪灰心沮丧地过着孤寂的日子。她甚至失去了自杀的意念。女儿好似也没有归家的征兆。沉重如灰泥般的日子，就这样一天一天过去。

那根长竹竿，依旧搁立在老媪家的后门。不过，自此以后，就没人再听闻到从桥上投河自杀的人被抢救过来的消息了。

According to ancient books, there have been many suicides in Kyoto since ancient times. In any era, the competition for survival in KYǑNGSǑNG was always fiercer than in the countryside. Once the unfortunate encounter can no longer live, choose to die a lot of people. For example, people kill themselves when they are starving inside and outside the city, when their parents and brothers die, or when they lose their beloved wife and children. There are so many other reasons why people want to kill themselves, such as the temporary loss of an official position, the forced love, the broken love, and so on. Not to mention, in Tokugawa's time, there were so called love deaths, in which two people died at once. When people want to kill themselves, the easiest way seems to be to throw themselves into a river. This is a suicide questionnaire that doesn't need to be checked by a statistician, but that only needs to be picked up by someone who has given it some serious thought. It is a pity that there is no proper place to throw oneself into the river in Kyoto. Of course Kamogawa didn't die, because the deepest part was less than a meter. Therefore, jun and Chuanbingwei (the story of two lovers who kill their rival samurai in Ibari, and Jun, a prostitute, in Niobian Mountain) are the only two people who die in Niobian Mountain. Most others hang themselves. In those days, of course, no one died in a car accident. In addition, people who have to commit suicide, you can jump from the clear water stage (Kiyomizu-dera was founded in 798 AD, and was later revered as a Guan Yin shrine after the Heian period, and the stage for traditional plays was set on a steep cliff) . The old saying, "in the spirit of throwing yourself on the water stage," is a valid metaphor. However, anyone who has ever seen a mangled corpse on a rock in a ravine below the stage, or heard a description of it, will hesitate, even if he loves to follow the trend. Therefore, some people who choose to commit suicide by throwing themselves into the river can only learn the tragic love story between Ah Ban and Changyouweimen, it's a long way to Katsura River, or you'll have to cross the mountains to Lake Biwa, or to the saga of Hirosaki. It may not seem like much to a loved one who wants to have a good time before they die, but for someone who doesn't want to be in the world any more, it's not worth the 10-mile walk. Therefore, most of these people choose to hang themselves. As a result, some children who often pick up Castanopsis carlesii seeds in the woods of the lower duck shrine in Shōgo-in are often shocked to see a body hanging in mid-air. Even so, many people in Kyoto have committed suicide since ancient times. Even those who have been deprived of all their liberty have at least the freedom to commit suicide. People who get arrested, they get to choose their last option. Even people with hands and feet bound and unable to move can force themselves to death without breathing, if only with extreme self-denial. All in all, it is true that Kyoto has no proper place to throw itself into the river. However, since ancient times, people who want to commit suicide have been racking their brains to get what they want. Although there are no suitable places to throw themselves into the river, the rate of suicides is no less than in Edo or Osaka. After the Meiji era, the chief of the village of Fuzhen in Kyoto, Daxing Canal, was built to bring water from Lake Biwa to the capital. This project not only brings the convenience of water transportation to the citizens of Kyoto, but also makes the citizens of Kyoto enjoy the benefits of tap water. At the same time, it also provides an appropriate place for the citizens of Kyoto to throw into the river. The canal was about 20 meters wide and was a pretty good place to throw yourself into the river. If the bottom of the sea floating in the depths, let a variety of fish pick up their own corpse, I am afraid that no matter who, just imagine will feel sick. Therefore, most people who commit suicide by throwing themselves into the river hope that even if they die, it would be better if their bodies were found at an appropriate time and then fished up for mourning. At this point, the aqueduct is the perfect place. The aqueduct passed through two channels from Cushang and then flowed along the Kamogawa River to the town of Phuket. Wherever it is, the water is about three meters deep and crystal clear. Besides, willows are planted on both sides of the river, and at night the gas lamps are dimly lit. Across from Kamogawa, a string song can also be heard from the area around the city of Shinto Kamogawa. Behind them lay the Silent Higashiyama, a mountain with the great script mountains in the east of Kyoto and most of the shrines and temples at its base. After the rain at night, the two sides of the neon lights, red and green land will be reflected in the water. Such a beautiful view of the canal at night often creates a romantic atmosphere for the suicide victim to escape his fear of death and plunge into the water in a daze. However, no matter how determined the suicide may be, the moment the person falls to the surface with all his weight, he will wail. It's an instinctive groan of fear of death. But what can you do now that everyone has jumped? Jump Down, most will splash up a burst of foam into the water, and then surface, at this time, the river in the heart only want to save the existence of instinct. So he would scratch and slap the water, struggle, Groan in pain, kick and punch. Then the limbs gradually lose strength, and then fall into a state of unconsciousness and die, but if then someone threw a rope into the water, the river jumper will most likely reach out and grab the rope without thinking. When the jumper catches hold of the rope, his mind will not float to the river before the realization and rescue after regret. Only a strong instinct to be saved exists. So we should never laugh at the ambivalence of the suicidal person in asking for help, or holding on to a rope. All in all, since there are suitable river-throwing places in Kyoto, people who want to commit suicide tend to throw themselves into ditches. The annual number of bodies pulled from ditches can be as high as a hundred. In the drainage basin, the best place to die is a desolate wooden bridge near the temple of martial arts. The flow of water in the canal down the slope of the cable car still flows around Okazaki Park. The wooden bridge is located where the current diverges from the park. On the right hand side, a solitary gas lamp lit up the misty woods of Heian Shrine's courtyard, and on the left hand side, a few empty houses with closed doors and windows. That's why it's so quiet. So many people jumped over the railing of the bridge and threw themselves into the river. It seems that the bridge from the river than from the bank into the river, more satisfied with the suicide potential of the desire to play it. Only, there was a hut on the bank of the channel, about eight or nine metres below the wooden bridge. Every time someone from the bridge threw himself into the river to commit suicide, from the hut will be rushed out of a very short old woman. If the time of suicide into the river at night before twelve o'clock, old woman's rescue methods are generally unchanged. That is, the hand must hold a long bamboo pole, and then the bamboo pole into the river issued a groan. There's usually a reaction. If there is no response, as long as the pursuit of the sound of water and groaning, repeatedly out of the bamboo line. Of course, there are occasional instances where nothing happens, but nine times out of ten, the other end of the stick will respond. When old woman rescued those who threw themselves into the river to the bank, there must have been some kind-hearted man running to the police station 300 meters away to report the incident. If the season is in winter, then it is necessary to build a fire to keep warm, but in summer, as long as the river to spit out water, and then help him wipe his body, the river to the police station will most likely be able to recover their spirits to follow their own. And usually it is the police to the river to teach two or three words, the river people are stammered to apologize after the apology. In the case of a life-saving case like this, after a month, the government will award a Certificate of Commendation and a reward of about one dollar and fifty cents to the rescuer. Old Woman Every time after receiving a bonus, always first in front of the shrine, and then two or three high-five, and then get the post office deposit. When the Fourth National Exposition was held in Okazaki Park, the Meiji administration's product exposition for the revitalization of domestic industry began in Ueno Imperial Grant Park, Tokyo, in 1877 and ended in Osaka, Japan, in 1903, old Woman opened a small teahouse where the cottage stood. Although only sells some candy or fruit and so on small teahouse, but the income is quite good, therefore the exposition building is gradually demolished, old woman still continues her teahouse business. It is also arguably the only monument left after the closing of the Fourth Expo. Old Woman's husband is dead, she has been living with her daughter. After the small amount of change gradually accumulated, the former cottage has also become the current clean and refreshing house. When old woman first found that someone had thrown herself into the river from the bridge, she was in a panic. You want to shout, there's no one around. Even if someone happens to pass by, by then the river jumper will have been swept into the raging waters and will be nowhere to be seen. At this time, old woman can only stare at the dark water, murmuring in the mouth Buddha. However, old woman such ears and witnesses suicide, not only one or two people. Usually twice a month, sometimes even twice a month, old woman will hear the mournful cry of the suicide. It sounded like the Groan of the souls of the dead who had not crossed over from hell, and the Old Woman of cowardice could not bear it. Then old woman made up her mind to rescue the river-jumpers. It was a man of twenty-three who had the courage and ingenuity to use a bamboo pole to save her for the first time. It was a cowardly man who wanted to die for embezzling 50 yuan from his master's family. After the policeman accused him of acting rashly, the man showed his willingness to repent and to continue his hard work. A month later, old woman received a summons from the Kyōto Prefecture government, received the bonus. A dollar and fifty cents at that time was a great deal of money to old woman. On second thought, she decided to put the money into the Postal Savings Bank of China, which was then only slightly more popular. Ever since then, old woman has been trying to save people. And the technique is getting better. As long as hear the sound of water and sorrow, old woman will roll over and rush out the back door. He then grabs the bamboo pole that stands by the back door, poses like a fisherman with a spear ready for a carp, stares into the water, and then deftly pokes it out in front of the suicide. Almost all river jumpers reach out to grab the bamboo pole that has been reached. Then old woman tried her best to bring it up again. If a man happened to pass by and wanted to help old woman, old woman would be very unhappy. Because she felt as if the man were encroaching on her privileges. Thus, from the age of forty-three to the age of fifty-eight, old woman altogether saved more than fifty lives. So the process of awarding the prize is also very simple, just one week to receive the prize money. The civil servant of the government always smiles a way: "the old woman you came again." Again award the bonus to Old Woman. Old Woman also lost the original ecstatic feeling of gratitude, as from the hands of tea house guests took the bean cake money, only a sentence: "Thank you." That is all. When the world was generally prosperous and there were no river-jumpers for two or three months, old woman always felt a little ticklish. Daughter to her money to buy cloth, old woman will also return to her daughter said, wait until the next collect bonus to buy. It was late June, traditionally the peak season for river-jumpers, and somehow no one had done it. Old Woman every night and daughter spread cotton quilt row pillow, always listen carefully to the river. At twelve o'clock, when there was still no movement, he murmured, "I can't do it again tonight." Then he closed his eyes. Old Woman thought it was a very meaningful thing to save those who threw themselves into the river. When chatting with tea house guests, she often said, "people like me have saved so many lives that they can go to Heaven after they die." Of course, no one disagreed with her. But Old Woman was only a little dissatisfied. That's the one who was saved. It's rare to have someone say thank you to an old woman. Although they will salute in front of the police officers, but no one will say thanks to old woman. And no one came back to say thank you. Old woman thought to herself, "it was in vain that I saved their life. These people are too heartless." One night old woman saved an eighteen-year-old girl. When the girl recovered her senses and found herself rescued, she began to cry desperately. When the officer finally persuaded her to go with him to the police station, she passed by the wooden bridge, only to find that the girl jumped into the river again when the officer was not looking. Only, that girl unexpectedly and unexpectedly by old woman poke out bamboo pole to save up. Old Woman, looking at the back of the girl who had been taken away by the police twice, murmured, "no matter how many times you dance, you always want to live." That is immediately out of the river bamboo sticks. And there's still not a single suicidal person who wouldn't grab the bamboo pole in front of them. Old Woman always think those people are sincerely want to be saved, so will seize the bamboo pole was out. Old Woman has also thought, since the rescue is some sincerely want to save people, then she must do is incomparable good. Last Spring, for the first time, the quiet life of old woman suffered a crisis. The problem is her twenty-one year old daughter. Although her daughter looks a bit vulgar, but the skin bright, charming expression. Old Woman originally planned to recruit a distant relative's second son after his military service, and then to take out more than 300 yuan of savings as capital, join forces to expand the teahouse. It was old woman's wish and expectation. However, the daughter completely destroyed the old woman's expectations. She has been involved in the same old relationship with a touring entertainer named Tatsuro Arashi, who has been performing in the small theatre in Kumano, under Uji, since February this year. Fa Yin Haau Yu instigated his daughter to steal her mother's bankbook and withdraw all her savings from the post office. Old Woman had nothing but dismay and despair. There are only less than five Yuan of goods in the teahouse, as well as some clothes. But if old woman still opens teahouse to go down, should not be able to fall into the street. It's just that old lady's a basket case. She waited two months in vain for a message from her daughter. She's lost the will to live. And so, I thought of death. She thought about it for several nights and finally made up her mind to throw herself into the river. In this way, not only can you release yourself from unbearable despair, but you can also warn your daughter. She chose the wooden bridge near her accustomed home as the place to throw herself into the river. Old Woman thought that if she threw herself into the river on that bridge, no one would disturb her. Then one night old woman stood on the bridge. She kept seeing the faces of the suicide victims she had saved so far, but they all seemed to have a strange, mocking smile on their faces. But thanks to the number of suicides she has seen, she has made suicide a regular occurrence, with little fear. Then, Old Woman in a daze from the railings slipped like jumped into the river. When old woman unexpectedly returned to her senses, she saw policemen and a large crowd of onlookers. These were her usual cliques, but her position had been changed a little. Watching the crowd, and even some people do not understand how the police officers around the old woman must be in the usual. Old Woman looked about her in an indescribable unpleasantness, like shame or anger. She was surprised to see the policeman standing next to her in his usual place, a dark-skinned man of forty or so. When she realized that it was the man who had saved her, she was so angry that she really wanted to go and strike him. Old Woman just like comfortable to fall asleep, unexpectedly be ruthlessly wake up like, in anger. The man did not seem to be aware of old woman's mood, but he said to the officer, "if we are too late, I am afraid it will be too late.". There was a palpable pride in his voice that he had saved lives. Old Woman found her aging body exposed to the eyes of the public, hurriedly pulled up the chest and hem, but the heart is burning with a sense of shame and anger. Familiar with the police said: "You should save people how to become someone else to save you? No Way." Old Woman to rush back to his home. The policeman then came in and taught old woman a few words, which she had heard many times before, and which she was tired of hearing. At this time, old woman also found the Open Door, to that forty men led, gathered a group of lookers. Old Woman rushed madly and slammed the door. After that, old woman lived a lonely life in despair. She even lost the will to kill herself. The daughter doesn't seem to be coming home either. The days, heavy as stucco, passed like this. The long bamboo pole still stood at the back door of the old woman's house. Since then, however, no one has heard of the rescue of anyone who threw himself into a river from a bridge.

标题: 投水救助业
作者: 菊池宽
字数: 5184
简介: 据古书记载，京都自古以来自杀者即相当多。无论是哪一个时代，京城人的生存竞争总是比乡村人激烈。一旦遭逢无法再生活下去的不幸时，选择一死了之的人

Kangaroo Day

栏中有四只袋鼠：一只公两只母，另一只是刚出生不久的小袋鼠。

袋鼠栏前只有我和她两人。原本就是不怎么有人来的动物园，加上又是星期一早上，较之进园的游客，动物数量倒多得多。

我们的目标当然是袋鼠宝宝，此外想不起有什么可看。

我们是一个月前从报纸地方版上得知袋鼠宝宝降生的。一个月时间里我们一直在静等适于看袋鼠宝宝的早晨的到来，然而那样的早晨偏偏不肯来临。这个早晨下雨，下个早晨还下雨，再下个早晨地面全是泥巴，而接下去的两天又在吹讨厌的风。一天早晨她虫牙作痛，又一天早晨我必须去区政府。

如此这般，一个月过去了。

一个月嘛，简直眨眼之间。这一个月时间究竟干什么来着，我压根儿想不起来。既好像干了许多事，又似乎什么也没干。在月底收订报费的人上门之前，甚至一个月已然过去都浑然未觉。

但不管怎样，适于看袋鼠的早晨还是来了。我们早上六点醒来，拉开窗帘，一瞬间便看出这是个袋鼠佳日。我们洗脸，吃饭，喂猫，洗衣服，之后戴上太阳帽出门。

“我说，袋鼠宝宝可还活着？”电车中她问我。

“我想活着，毕竟没有报道说已经死了。”

“没准有病去哪里住院了。”

“即使那样也会报道的。”

“也可能得了神经官能症缩在里头不肯出来。”

“宝宝？”

“何止于！妈妈嘛，说不定带着宝宝一直躲在里面的黑屋子里。”

我不由感叹：女孩子想到的可能性真个千奇百怪。

“总觉得要是错过这个机会就再也看不到袋鼠宝宝了。”

“不至于吧。”

“还不是，这以前你可看过袋鼠宝宝？”

“啊，那是没有。”

“往后可有看到的自信？”

“有没有呢，说不准。”

“所以我担心么。”

“不过，”我抗议道，“或许情况如你所说，但我既没看过麒麟生崽，又没见过鲸鱼游动，干嘛单单袋鼠宝宝现在成了问题呢？”

“因为是袋鼠宝宝嘛！”她说。

我休战看报。和女孩子争论，以前从未胜过。

袋鼠宝宝当然活着。他（或她）比报纸照片上的大得多，神气活现地在地上跑来跑去。与其说是袋鼠宝宝，不如说是小型袋鼠更合适。这一事实多少让她有些失望。

“好像都不是宝宝了。”

像是宝宝的嘛，我安慰道。

“早点儿来就好了。”

我走去小卖店，买了两支巧克力冰淇淋，回来时她仍靠在围栏上目不转睛地注视着袋鼠。

“已经不是宝宝了！”她重复了一句。

“真不是了？”我把一支冰淇淋递给她。

“还不是，宝宝应该钻进妈妈口袋里的嘛！”

我点点头，舔了一下冰淇淋。

“可是没有进去。”

我们开始找袋鼠妈妈。袋鼠爸爸倒是一眼就认出了——个头最大、最文静的是袋鼠爸爸。他以才华枯竭的作曲家般的神情定定地看着食料箱里的绿叶。剩下的两只是母的，一样的体态，一样的毛色，一样的脸形，哪只说是妈妈都不奇怪。

“可哪个是妈妈，哪个不是妈妈呢？”我问。

“唔。”

“那么，不是妈妈的袋鼠到底算怎么回事呢？”

不知道，她说。

袋鼠宝宝却不理会这些，只管在地上绕圈撒欢儿，不住地拿前爪到处刨坑，刨不知干什么用的坑。看样子他（她）不懂什么叫无聊，在爸爸身前身后跑了几圈，嚼了一点点绿草，刨地，抓了一把两只母袋鼠，“骨碌”一声躺在地上，又爬起开始跑。

“袋鼠怎么跑得那么快呢？”她问。

“逃避敌人。”

“敌人？什么敌人？”

“人啊。”我说，“人用回飞镖杀袋鼠吃肉。”

“为什么袋鼠宝宝要钻进妈妈肚子上的口袋？”

“为了一起逃命。小家伙跑不了那么快的。”

“要受保护？”

“嗯。”我说，“孩子都受到保护。”

“保护多长时间？”

我应该在动物图鉴上把关于袋鼠的所有知识都查清楚，因为这种情况我早有预料。

“一个月或两个月，也就一两个月吧。”

“那么，那孩子才一个月，”她指着袋鼠宝宝说，“理应钻在妈妈的口袋里。”

“呃，”我应道，“有可能。”

“嗳，你不认为钻到那口袋里很妙？”

“妙的吧。”

“是母体回归情结吧，就是所谓机器猫的口袋？”

“是不是呢？”

“肯定是。”

太阳已升到天顶。附近游泳池传来儿童们的欢声笑语。空中飘浮着夏日轮廓清晰的云。

“吃点什么？”我问她。

“热狗。”她说，“加可乐。”

卖热狗的是个年轻的打工学生，他把一个大大的收录机放在呈流动服务车形状的带篷售货床上。烤热狗的时间里，史蒂维·旺德和比利·乔一直在唱着。

我一折回袋鼠栏，她便指着一只母袋鼠道：

“喏，喏，快看，钻到口袋里去了！”

果然，宝宝钻到了母亲口袋里。育儿袋胀鼓鼓的，唯见尖尖的小耳朵和尾巴尖儿一抖一抖地竖在上面。

“不重？”

“袋鼠是大力士。”

“真的？”

“所以才一代代活到今天。”

母亲在强烈的阳光下一滴汗也没出。那个样子，就好像偏午时分在青山大街超市里买完东西，正在咖啡馆里小憩。

“受着保护喽？”

“嗯。”

“睡过去了？”

“想必。”

我们吃热狗，喝咖啡，然后离开袋鼠栏。

我们离开时，袋鼠爸爸仍在搜寻丢失在食料箱里的音符。袋鼠妈妈和袋鼠宝宝合二为一地在时间长河里休息，难以确定身份的母袋鼠在围栏里不停地跳跃，仿佛在测试尾巴的性能。

看来将是一个久违的大热天。

“嗳，不喝点啤酒什么的？”

“好啊。”我应道。

There were four kangaroos in the pen: one male and two females, and the other was a newborn Joey. It was just me and her in front of the kangaroo stall. It was a quiet zoo, and on a Monday morning there were far more animals than there were visitors. Our goal, of course, is the baby kangaroo, and I can't think of anything else to see. We learned about the birth of the baby kangaroo from the local newspaper a month ago. For a month we had been waiting for a morning fit for a baby kangaroo, but that morning would not come. One morning it was raining, the next morning it was raining, the next morning the ground was covered in mud, and the next two days there was a nasty wind. One morning she had a toothache and the next morning I had to go to the district office. And so on, and so on, and so on, and so on, and so on. A month. Blink of an eye. I can't remember what I've been doing for a month. Seems to have done a lot of things, but also seems to have done nothing. Even a month had passed before the end of the month's subscription man showed up. But in any case, kangaroo-watching mornings have arrived. We woke up at six in the morning, pulled back the curtains, and in a flash we saw it was a kangaroo day. We wash our faces, eat, feed our cats, wash our clothes, then put on our Sun Hats and go out. "I said, is the baby kangaroo still alive?" She asked me in the tram. "I want to live, after all, there's no report that I'm dead.""maybe I'm sick and I'm in the hospital somewhere.""even if I was, I'd report it.""maybe I got neurosis effects and wouldn't come out.""Baby?""more than that!"! Mother, perhaps, and Darling had been hiding in the dark room," I could not help exclaiming: What a strange possibility a girl has in mind. "I thought if I missed this opportunity I would never see a baby kangaroo again.""No, have you ever seen a baby kangaroo before?""No, I haven't.""have you ever seen a baby kangaroo before?""I don't know," I protested, "maybe it's like you say, but I've never seen a unicorn give birth, and I've never seen a whale swim, so why should darling the kangaroo be the only problem now?""because it's a baby kangaroo!" She said. I'll read the paper after a truce. It's never been better to argue with a girl. Of course the baby kangaroo is alive. He or she was much larger than the picture in the newspaper, running Mannequin across the floor. Not so much baby kangaroos as baby kangaroos. She was somewhat disappointed by this fact. "It's not even darling anymore," I soothed. "It's like a baby.". "I wish I had come earlier," I went to the store and bought two chocolate ice creams. When I came back, she was still leaning against the fence and staring at the kangaroo. "It's not Darling Anymore!" She repeated. "really?" I handed her an ice cream. "No, Darling was supposed to be in mom's Pocket!" I nodded and licked the ice cream. "but we didn't go in." We started looking for the mother kangaroo. The kangaroo father is one eye to recognize-the biggest, most quiet is the kangaroo father. He fixed his eyes on the green leaves in the feeder with the air of an exhausted composer. The remaining two are female, the same posture, the same hair color, the same face shape, which said is not strange mother. "but which is the mother and which is not the mother?" I asked. "well, what's the matter with a kangaroo that's not mom?""I don't know," she said. The baby kangaroos ignored this and kept digging holes in the ground with their front paws, not knowing what to do. It seems that he (she) do not know what is boring, in front and behind his father ran a few laps, chewing a little bit of green grass, digging the ground, caught a pair of mother kangaroo, "Gulu" a lie on the ground, and began to run. "Why do Kangaroos run so fast?" She asked. "flee from the enemy.""enemy? What Enemy?""man," I said, "Why would a baby kangaroo go into its mother's stomach pocket?""to run away together.". Little Guy can't run that fast.""protected?""HMM," I said, "children are protected."

< p > < p > "for how long?"

< p > I should have all the knowledge about kangaroos in the animal guide, because I knew this would happen. "a month or two, maybe a month or two," she said, pointing to Darling the kangaroo. "well," I replied, "it's only a month or two." "It's possible.""well, don't you think it would be nice to get into that pocket?""isn't it wonderful?""is it a matrix regression complex?""Is it a robot cat pocket?""is it?""it must be.""the sun is at the zenith.". The children's laughter came from the nearby swimming pool. The clear-cut summer clouds floated in the air. "what would you like to eat?" I asked her. "hot dogs," she said, "and Coke." The hot dog vendor, a young migrant student, placed a large cassette player on a canopy bed shaped like a service truck. Stevie Wunder and Billy sang the whole time they were cooking hot dogs. As soon as I turned back to the kangaroo stall, she pointed to a female and said, "here, look, it's in the pocket!" and sure enough, the baby was in the pocket. The pouch was bulging, except for the sharp little ears and the tip of the tail, which stood upright with a shake. "Not Heavy?""the kangaroo is a mighty man.""really?""that's why generations have lived to this day." Mother didn't break a sweat in the strong Sun. It was like taking a nap in a cafe in the middle of the day after shopping at the Castle Peak Street supermarket. "are you protected?""HMM.""Did you fall asleep?""I bet.""We ate hot dogs, drank coffee, and left the kangaroo cage.". As we left, Papa Kangaroo was still searching for the missing notes in the bin. Mother Kangaroo and baby kangaroo together in the long river rest, hard to identify the mother kangaroo kept jumping in the fence, as if testing the performance of the tail. It looks like it's gonna be a hot one. "Hey, don't you want a beer or something?""sure," I said.

标题: 袋鼠佳日
作者: 村上春树
字数: 1951
简介: 栏中有四只袋鼠：一只公两只母，另一只是刚出生不久的小袋鼠。袋鼠栏前只有我和她两人。原本就是不怎么有人来的动物园，加上又是星期一早上，较之进园

フラワースズメ

我实在看不出那种鸟的脸花在哪里。甚至连它们的脸长得什么样子都看不清楚──它们在沼泽上左跳右跃，上突下闪，急匆匆地来，慌忙忙地去。

外婆一看到这种鸟就像小孩子一样又惊又喜：“花脸雀！花脸雀──我们放生铺的花脸雀怎么飞到这里来了？”

放生铺──她的故乡，她九十年的时光里生活了近三十年的地方。

我去过放生铺几次。也记得那个四季长青、松柏满坡的地方的确有很多鸟，但实在想不起其中还有一种鸟叫什么“花脸雀”……在那个地方，每天早上鸟儿们跟吵架似地叫得热闹非凡。

沙依横布拉克的鸟也多，但啾叫声却薄寥寥的。大约山野太广阔了，发生其间的任何声响都会被拉得一声与一声远离，显得惊惊乍乍而稀稀落落。

那些鸟更知道怎样去沉默。

那些鸟，有的长得跟麻雀似的，不显眼。开始我也就把它们当成麻雀了，后来发现它们踱着步走而不是跳着走的。又仔细观察别的鸟，才知道没有一只是我见过的。我见过的鸟都只以“大鸟”、“小鸟”和“鸡”的概念出现，没有更详细的分类。

外婆整天“花脸雀，花脸雀”地念叨，真搞不清楚她在说哪一种，是体态稍显修长清秀，翅膀上有白斑的那种黑鸟，还是灰不溜秋，腹部白中带抹轻红的那位？问题是它们的脸都不太花。

她每天洗了碗就把洗碗水倒在固定的地方，水渗进大地，饭粒残渣留了下来。那些鸟每天去那里努力啄啊啄。双方都养成了习惯。

一般来说，同类的鸟都往一块儿站，那片沼泽上便清清楚楚地分了好几个门派，决不会瞎掺和成一团。如果不这样，我无论如何也弄不清楚谁是谁。它们的差别太细微了，只有我外婆那样的老人家才有那个闲工夫去一一分辨——“花脸雀又来了。”或者──“今天怎么只有灰山雀雀来？”

“灰山雀雀”又是什么？

我妈干活时也爱往那边瞅。她观察得更详细，详细得让人无法相信。她说上午来的那批鸟和下午来的那批不一样，午后和黄昏的也各有讲究，毫不乱来。仿佛鸟们私下议定了秩序，划分了时间段似的。

她还说有一公一母两只鸟──实在想不通她是怎么辨别公母的──每天下午四点都要来那么一阵子，而且总是只有它们两只。公的叨到食了，就赶紧去喂母的，等母的吃饱了，他自己才吃一点。吃完了，互相叫唤一阵便双双飞去。她每天都在等那两只鸟。

我整天啥事不干，瞪大了眼睛也没本事发现什么。每只鸟真的都长得差不多啊。

想起一件事。在内地上学时，有一次我和妈妈在我的中学校园里散步。走进花园里覆盖着葡萄藤的读书廊时，她在绿荫碧盖间停住，惊异地叫出声：

“看──那么多鸟！”

“哪儿？哪儿？”我东张西望。

“那儿！那儿──就是那儿──”

顺着她指的方向看去，鸟影子也没有一只。干脆拉上她要走：“鸟有什么好看的！”

“不是，那鸟很奇特……”她沉默了，站那儿不走，看出了神。我只好跟着徒劳无功地努力往那边瞅：“怎么样奇特啊？”

“特小……顶多只有手指头肚儿那么大点儿……到处都是……五只，六只……十一，十二……天啦，居然有那么多！不留神还看不出来……”

“哪儿呢？哪儿呢？”

“……你看，到处都是，恐怕上百只不止……静静地，全都不吭声……看──飞起一只……”

我还是什么也看不到，瞎着急。她指向的地方是一篷乱糟糟的冬青，没有修理，被一个喷泉挡住大半。更远处是一棵黄桷树。

“……真是鸟的天堂……”

我放弃。静静地听她的描述，好像真的看到了一样，那么多袖珍的鸟儿，静静地栖在枝梢，一动不动，目光沉静……我渴望它们一下子全飞起来，一下子闹翻天，让我能一下子看见──可那里始终只是一篷平凡的冬青。

最后我只好装作看到了的样子，和妈妈边议论这事边离开了。后来她经常一个人去看那些鸟，还带别人去看。所有人都声称看到了（说不定和我一样也是装的……），只有我，在那个地方生活了三年还是连鸟毛都没看到一根。我只好相信，那个世界的门只能被我妈妈的眼睛打开。

那么“花脸雀”呢？开始我妈也不知道何为“花脸雀”。后来我外婆指了一回给她看，她就知道了。可我外婆给我指了一百回我都搞不清。疑心她年纪大了，指得不准。而且鸟那么多，那么杂，一会儿就把眼晃花了，刚刚认下就飞了，这只看着像，那只看着也像，过一会儿又全不像。再过一会便懒得理它们了，跑去干别的事情──真是的，认下一只鸟儿对我有什么用呢？它会从此属于我吗？

外婆有三十年的时光在稠密浓黏的鸟叫声中度过，是不是鸟已经用翅膀载走了她的生命中的一部分？她整天坐在沼泽边的一根倒木上，笑眯眯地看，好像在看她养的一群小鸡。

外婆多么寂寞。我们之间遥远陌生的七十年人生距离让这种寂寞更为孤独，不可忍受。她生命中的鸟永远不会飞进我的生命，哪怕只有一只。因为有七十年的时间我们没有在一起。

还有我妈，她是否真的就知道外婆所说的“花脸雀”？如果她认错了，这个误会将永远存在于剩下的时间里，且再没有任何机会与必要来进行澄清。尤其是她们永远不会意识这个了，亲情只因表面上的沟通而浓郁吗？哪怕是一家人，之间仍隔有无边的距离。

那么我和我妈之间呢？我们之间的那些鸟儿，到底有没有？

我们三人共同生活在沙依横布拉克那片沼泽上的一个小帐篷里。却仅因一只鸟儿，彼此分离得那么远。

不过现在我知道了，所谓“花脸雀”，其实就是外婆家乡的画眉子鸟。但知道了这个又有什么用呢──我还是不知道那个“画眉子”具体又是什么样的。

< p > そんな鳥の顔がどこにあるのか見当もつかない。彼らの顔がどんな形をしているのかさえ分かりませんでした。彼らは沼の上を右に左に跳ねたり、上を左に飛んだり、急いだり、急いだりしていました。おばあちゃんはこの鳥を見ると子供のように驚き喜びます: “花脸雀! 花脸雀はどうして私たちの放生舗の花脸雀がここに飛んできましたか?”

< p > 放生舗彼女の故郷，彼女は90年の間、30年近く暮らしてきた。< p > < p > 放生屋には何度か行ったことがある。そして、その四季折々の緑に覆われた斜面には確かにたくさんの鳥がいたことも覚えているが、その中に「フラワーフェイス」という鳥がいたことも思い出せない，毎朝、鳥たちが喧嘩《けんか》でもするように賑《にぎ》やかに鳴いている。< p > シャイヨブラクの鳥も多いが、チュウチュウ鳴き声はほとんどない。だいたい山野は広すぎて、そのあいだに起こるどんな物音も、びっくりしたように遠ざかって、まばらになってしまう。< p > < p > の鳥たちは沈黙する方法を知っている。< p > < p > の鳥たちは、スズメのような顔をしていて、目立たない。最初はスズメだと思っていましたが、飛んでいるのではなく、歩いていることがわかりました。他の鳥をよく観察してみると、どれも見たことのない鳥だった。私の見た鳥は、どれも「大きな鳥」「小鳥」「ニワトリ」という概念でしか出てこず、それ以上の詳細な分類はなかった。おばあちゃんは一日じゅう「花顔雀、花顔雀」とつぶやいていたが、どちらのことを言っているのかわからなかった。少し背が高くて羽に白い斑点のあるブラックバード(ビートルズの曲)のことを言っているのか、それとも灰色だった，腹の白いところに薄紅《うすべに》をつけている方？問題は、どちらもあまり派手な顔をしていないことだ。< p > < p > 彼女は毎日食器を洗うと決められた場所に洗い物の水を捨て、水は大地に染み込み、ご飯の残りが残った。あの鳥たちは毎日そこに行って一生懸命ついばんでいる。どちらも習慣になっている。普通、同じ種類の鳥が一緒に立っていると、その沼にははっきりといくつかの流儀が分かれていて、決して混じり合うことはない。そうでもしなければ、どうしても誰が誰なのかわからない。その違いはあまりにも微妙で、，おばあちゃんのような年寄りにしか、いちいち見分ける余裕はなかった——「ハナショウブがまたやってきた」とか、「どうして今日はハナショウブしかやってこないの? 」

< p > 「ハナショウブ」って何？< p > < p > 母も仕事中はそっちを見るのが好きです。彼女はもっと詳細に、もっと詳細に観察した。午前中にやってきた鳥たちは、午後にやってきた鳥たちとはちがっていた。午後にやってきた鳥たちも、夕方にやってきた鳥たちとはちがっていた。まるで鳥たちがひそかに秩序を定め、時間を区切っているかのようだった。

< p > 彼女はまた、一公一雌二羽の鳥がいると言っていたが、どうやって彼女がそれを見分けることができるのか不思議だった。毎日午后4時にやってきて、しかもいつも二羽しかいなかった。雄は食べることができるようになると, 急いで母に食べさせに行き, 母がお腹いっぱいになったら, 自分で少し食べる。食べ終わったらしばらく呼び合ってからスリーサム。彼女は毎日その2羽の鳥を待っている。< p > < p > 私は一日中何もしないし、目を丸くしても何も見つけられない。本当にどの鳥も似たような成長をしていますね。< p > < p > はあることを思い出した。内地の学校に通っていたころ、私は母と一緒に中学校の校庭を散歩したことがある。庭に葡萄の蔓つるでおおわれた読書廊下にはいったとき、彼女は緑の間に立ち止まって、驚きの声をあげた。

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、

、

、 < どこ? どこ? > 、私はきょろきょろあたりを見回した。あそこだ! あそこだ! あそこだ! あそこだ! あそこだ! あそこだ! あそこだ。いっそのこと彼女を引っぱって行こうかと思った。「鳥なんかいいじゃないの! 」

「いいえ、あの鳥は変わっていて... ... 」彼女は黙りこみ、その場に立ちすくんだ。わたしもそのあとについていって、なんとかそっちのほうを見ようとしました。「どうでしょう? 」

は「とても小さい... ... せいぜい指の腹くらいの大きさで... ... そこらじゅうに... ... 五つ、六つ... ... 十一、十二... ... ああ、そんなにたくさんあるんですね！うっかりしているとわからない... ... 」

「どこだろう？どこですか? 」

< p > 「 ... ... ほら、どこにでもいるでしょう。恐らく何百匹もいるでしょう... ... 静かに、みんな黙って... ... 一匹が飛び立つのを見て... ... 」

「やっぱり何も見えません，いらいらする。彼女が指さしたところは散らかったモチノキ属で、手入れもされておらず、噴水で大半がふさがれていた。さらに向こうには黄桷樹があります。

「 ... ... 鳥の楽園だ... ... 」

私はあきらめる。じっと彼女の話を聞いていると、まるで本当に見ていたかのように、たくさんの小さな鳥たちが、静かに枝にとまり、じっと動かず、静かなまなざしをしている... ... 私はその鳥たちが一度に全部飛び立って、一気に飛び立ってくれることを切望した，一気に見ることができるようになったが、そこはあくまでも平凡なモチノキ属だった。

結局あたしはそれを見たふりをして、お母さんとそんなことを話し合いながらその場を離れた。それからというもの、彼女はよく一人で鳥を見に行ったり、他の人を連れて行ったりした。みんなが見たと言っているのに(もしかしたら私と同じように装っているのかもしれない... ...)、私だけが、あの場所に三年も住んでいるのに、鳥の毛一本も見ていない。その世界の扉は母の目によってしか開かれないと信じるしかなかった。< p > < p > では「ハナショウブ」は？最初は母も「ハナショウブ」という言葉を知らなかった。あとでおばあちゃんが一度指さして見せたら、すぐにわかった。でも、おばあちゃんに百回指摘されてもわからなかった。彼女が年をとったのではないかという疑いは, 正確に指摘できない。しかも鳥があんなにたくさんいて, あんなに雑多で, あっという間に目がくらんで, 見覚えたかと思うとすぐ飛んでしまう, これはただ似ているように見えて, あれも似ているように見えて, しばらくして。しばらくすると、鳥たちのことなんか気にしなくなって、ほかのことをするようになった。ほんとうに、鳥を認めたところで、なんの役に立つだろう？それはこれから私のものになるのだろうか？おばあちゃんは三十年間、ねっとりとした鳥の鳴き声の中で過ごしてきた。おばあちゃんの人生の一部を鳥が翼で運んでいったのだろうか？彼女は一日じゅう沼のそばの倒木の上に腰をおろして、自分の飼っているヒヨコの群れを見るようにニコニコしていた。< p > < p > おばあちゃんはなんて寂しいんだろう。私たちのあいだの遠い見知らぬ七十年の人生の距離が、その寂しさをいっそう孤独にし、耐えがたいものにしていた。彼女の人生の鳥は、たとえ一羽でも私の人生に飛び込んでくることはないだろう。70年間一緒にいなかったから。そして母は、おばあちゃんが言っていた「ハナショウブ」という言葉を本当に知っていたのだろうか？もし彼女が間違っていたら、その誤解は永遠に残されたままになり、それを明らかにする機会も必要もなくなるだろう。特に彼女たちはそれを決して意識しないということは、表面的なコミュニケーションだけで濃くなっているのでしょうか？たとえ家族であっても、その間には無限の距離がある。< p > < p > じゃあ私と母の間はどうなの？わたしたちのあいだにいる鳥たちには、そんなものがあるのだろうか？シャイヨンブラクの沼地にある小さなテントで、わたしたち三人は共同生活をしていました。たった一羽の鳥のために、あんなに離れ離れになってしまった。< p > < p > でも今はわかるけど、「ハナショウブ」というのは、実はおばあちゃんの故郷にいる眉子鳥《まゆこどり》のことだ。しかし、これを知って何の役に立つのでしょうか? 私はまだその「眉子を描く」具体的にはどのようなものか知りません。

标题: 花脸雀
作者: 李娟
字数: 2093
简介: 我实在看不出那种鸟的脸花在哪里。甚至连它们的脸长得什么样子都看不清楚──它们在沼泽上左跳右跃，上突下闪，急匆匆地来，慌忙忙地去。外婆一看到这

とんび (小説)

周新建译

有那么一只鸢，在啄我的脚。它已撕开靴子和袜子，这会儿在啄我的双脚。它不停地猛啄，然后围着我焦躁地飞上几圈，接着又干它的活儿。有位先生从旁边经过，旁观了一会儿之后问道，我为什么容忍这只鸢。

“我无力抵抗，”我说，“它来了就开始啄，那会儿我当然想赶走它，甚至还试图掐死它，可这种畜生劲足力大，它已经准备往我脸上扑，那我宁愿牺牲我的双脚。现在它们差不多已被啄烂了。”

“您竟然会忍受这样的折磨。”那位先生说，“开上一枪，这只鸢不就玩完了。”

“是这样吗？”我问，“那您愿意做这事吗？”

“愿意，”那位先生说，“只是我得回家取我的枪。您能再等半个小时吗？”

“我不知道。”我说。

我疼得僵直地站了一会儿，然后说道：“无论如何请您试一下。”

“好。”那位先生说，“那我就赶快点儿。”

我们谈话时，那只鸢静静地听着，目光在我俩之间转来转去。现在我看出来了，它已听懂了一切。它飞起来，为获得足够的冲力使劲弓起身子，学着投枪手的样子将它的利嘴从我的口中深深刺入我的体内。向后倒下时，我像得到解救似的感到，它无可挽回地淹死在我那填平所有洼地漫过一切堤岸的血泊里。

そんなとんび(小説)がいて、私の足をつついている。ブーツと靴下を引き裂いて、今度は私の足をつついている。しきりについばんでは、私のまわりをいらいらしながら飛びまわり、それからまた仕事をした。ある紳士がそばを通りかかってしばらく見物してからとんび(小説)をどうして許すのかと尋ねました。< p > 「抵抗できなかった」と私は言った，あのときはもちろん追い払おうとしたし、絞め殺そうとさえしたんだけど、あんなに力が強くて、顔に飛びかかろうとしたんだから、足を犠牲にしたほうがましだわ。今ではほとんど腐ってしまっています」

「よくこんな苦しみに耐えられましたね」とその紳士は言った，「一発撃ったら、このとんび(小説)は終わりじゃないか」「そうなんですか」「じゃあ、やってくれますか」「やってくれますか」と聞くと、「やります」と紳士は言いました，「銃を取りに家に帰らなければなりません。あと三十分待っていただけますか? 」

「わかりません」と私は言った。私はしばらく痛みで硬直していましたが、やがて「どうかお試しください」と言いました。「わかりました」とその紳士は言いました。「では急ぎましょう」，そのとんび(小説)はじっと耳を傾け、私たちの間を視線をさまよわせた。そして今、それがすべてを理解していることがわかった。そいつは飛び上がると、十分な衝撃を得るために思い切り身体を丸め、銃を投げる真似をして、その口を私の口から深々と私の中に突き刺した。後ろに倒れたとき、私は救われたように、それがすべてのチョロン地区を埋め尽くす低地の血溜まりの中で、取り返しのつかないほど溺れていくのを感じた。

标题: 鸢
作者: 卡夫卡
字数: 468
简介: 周新建译有那么一只鸢，在啄我的脚。它已撕开靴子和袜子，这会儿在啄我的双脚。它不停地猛啄，然后围着我焦躁地飞上几圈，接着又干它的活儿。有位先生

了解

二十岁的时候，我们的妈妈五十岁。我们是怎么谈她们的？

我和家萱在一个浴足馆按摩，并排懒坐，有一句每一句地闲聊。一面落地大窗，外面看不进来，我们却可以把过路的人看个清楚。

这是上海，这是衡山路。每一个亚洲城市都曾经有过这么一条路——餐厅特别时髦，酒吧特别昂贵，时装店冷气极强，灯光特别亮，墙上的海报一定有英文或法文写的“米兰”或“巴黎”。最突出的是走在街上的女郎，不管是露着白皙的腿还是纤细的腰，不管是小男生样的短发配牛仔裤还是随风飘起的长发配透明的丝巾，一颦一笑之间都辐射着美的自觉。每一个经过这面大窗的女郎，即使是独自一人，都带着一种演出的神情和姿态，美美地走过。她们在爱恋自己的青春。

家萱说，我记得啊，我妈管我管得烦死了，从我上小学开始，她就怕我出门被强奸，到了二十岁了还不准我超过十二点回家，每次晚回来她都一定要等门，然后也不开口说话，就是要让你“良心发现，自觉惭愧”。我妈简直就是个道德警察。

我说，我也记得啊，我妈给我的印象最深的就是她的“放肆”。那时在美国电影看见演“母亲”的说话细声细气的，浑身是优雅“教养”。我想，我妈也是杭州的绸缎庄大小姐，怎么这么“豪气”啊？当然，逃难，还生四个小孩，管小孩吃喝拉撒睡的日子，人怎么细得起来？她说话声音大，和邻居们讲到高兴时，会笑得惊天动地。她不怒则已，一怒而开骂时，正义凛然，轰轰烈烈，被骂的人只能抱头逃窜。

现在，我们自己五十多岁了，妈妈们成了八十多岁的“老媪”。

“你妈会时光错乱吗？”她问。

会啊，我说，譬如又一次带她到乡下看风景，她很兴奋，一路上说个不停：“这条路走下去转个弯就是我家的地。”或者说：“你看你看，那个山头我常去收租，就是那里。”我就对她说：“妈，这里你没来过啦。”她就开骂了：“乱讲，我就住这里，我家就在那山谷里，那里还有条河，叫新安江。”

我才明白，这一片台湾的美丽山林，仿佛浙江，使她忽然时光转换回到了自己的童年。她的眼睛发光，孩子似的指着车窗外：“佃农在我家地上种了很多杨梅、桃子，我爸爸让我去收租，佃农都对我很好，给我一大堆果子带走，我还爬很高的树呢。”

“你今年几岁，妈？”我轻声问她。

她眼神茫然，想了好一会儿，然后很小声地说：“我……我妈呢？我要找我妈。”

家萱的母亲住在北京一家安养院里。“开始的时候，她老说有人打她，剃她头发，听得我糊涂——这个赡养院很有品质，怎么会有人打她？”家萱的表情有些忧郁，“后来我才明白，原来她回到了‘文革时期’。年轻的时候，她是厂里的出纳，被拖出去打，让她洗厕所，把她剃成阴阳头——总之，就是对人极尽的侮辱。”

在你最衰弱的时候，却回到了最暴力、最恐怖的世界——我看着沉默的家萱，“那……你怎么办？”

她说：“想了好久，后来想出了一个办法。我自己写了个证明书，就写‘某某人工作努力，态度良好，爱国爱党，是本厂优良职工，已经被平反，恢复一切待遇。’然后还刻了一个好大的章，叫什么什么委员会，盖在证明书上。告诉看护说，妈妈一说有人打她，就把这证明书拿出来给她看。”

我不禁失笑，怎么我们这些五十岁的女人都在做一样的事情啊。我妈每天都在数她钱包里的钞票，每天都边数边说“我没钱，哪里去了？”我们跟她解释说她的钱在银行里，她就用那种怀疑的眼光盯着你看，然后还是时时刻刻紧抓着钱包，焦虑万分，怎么办？我于是打了一个“银行证明”：“兹证明某某女士在本行存有五百万元整”，然后下面盖个方方正正的章，红色的，正的反的连盖好几个，看起来很衙门，很威风。我交代印佣：“她一提到钱，你就把这证明拿出来让她看。”我把好几副老花眼镜也备妥，跟“银行证明”一起放在她床头抽屉。钱包，塞在她枕头底下。

按摩完了，家萱和我的“妈妈手记”技术交换也差不多了。落地窗前突然又出现了一个年轻的女郎，宽阔飘逸的丝绸裤裙，小背心露背露肩又露腰，一副水灵灵的妖娇模样；她的手指一直绕着自己的发丝，带给别人看的浅浅的笑，款款行走。

从哪里来，往哪里去，心中渐渐有一分明白，如月光泄地。

< p > 二十歳のとき、うちのお母さんは五十歳だった。彼女たちのことをどんなふうに話したのだろう？

私と家族はある湯足館でマッサージをして、並んで座って、一言ずつ雑談をしていました。大きな窓が開いているので外からは見えないが、通りすがりの人間がよく見える。P こちらは衡山路です。アジアのどの都市にもあったことですレストランはとても洒落ていてバーはとても高価でブティックは冷房が効いていて明かりがとても明るい，壁のポスターには、英語かフランス語で「ミラノ」か「パリ」と書かれているに違いない。一番目立っているのは、白い脚を見せていようが、細い腰をしていようが、男の子のようなショートカットにジーンズ、風になびく長い髪に透明なスカーフを合わせていようが、街を歩いている女性たちだ，ひとつひとつに美の自覚が放射されている。この大きな窓の前を通り過ぎる女たちは、たった一人であっても、演技をしているような表情と姿勢で、美しく通り過ぎていく。彼女たちは自分たちの青春を愛している。< p > 家族は言いました、「覚えているよ、母は私のことをとてもうるさがっていた、私が小学生のころから、私が外出してレイプされるのではないかと心配していた、20歳になっても12時を過ぎても家に帰ることを許さなかった、毎晩帰ってくるときは必ずドアを待っていた，そして口をきかないということは、「良心が発見して、自分が恥ずかしい」ということです。母はまるで道徳警察だった。私も覚えているよ、と言ったら、母が一番印象に残っているのは彼女の「生意気さ」だった。そのころアメリカ映画で見た「母」役の声は細く、優雅な「教養」にあふれていた。私の母も杭州の荘のお嬢さんなのに、どうしてこんなに「豪気」なのだろうと思った？もちろん、避難して、四人も子供を産んで、子供が食べたり寝たりしている日に、人間はどうして細かくなるのだろう？大きな声で話し、近所の人たちとうれしい話をすると、大笑いする。彼女が怒らなければもう、怒って罵《ののし》ったとき、正義は凛々《りり》しく、怒られた者は頭を抱えて逃げるしかなかった。< p > < p > 今、自分たちは50代になり、母親たちは80代の「老婆」になっています。< p > < p > 「お母さんは時間が狂うの。< p > < p > 会いましょうね、と言ったら、また田舎に連れて行って景色を見せてあげたら、すごく盛り上がっていて，途中で「この道を行って曲がったらうちの畑だよ」とか「ほら、あの峠はよく家賃取りに行ってるから、あそこだよ」とか言ったら、「お母さん、ここ来たことないじゃない」と怒鳴られた。「ここに住んでるの。あの谷間に家があって、そこに新安江という川が流れてるんだよ」，この台湾の美しい山林は、彼女を突然、自分の子供時代にタイムスリップさせたようだった。目を輝かせて、，子供のように窓の外を指さして言いました「寄生地主制が家の地面にヤマモモやモモをたくさん植えてくれていて父が家賃を受け取りに行くように言ってくれました大量の果物を持って行ってくれました高い木にも登っていました」「今年は何歳ですか、母さん」私は小声で彼女に尋ねました。

彼女はぼんやりとした目をして、しばらく考えていたが、やがて小さな声で言った。「あたし... ... お母さんは? お母さんを探しているの」

のお母さんは北京の安養院に住んでいる。「はじめのうちは、誰かに殴られたとか、髪を剃《そ》られたとか、いろいろ言われていたけど、この施設は品があるのに、どうして殴られたのかしら」家族は少し憂鬱《ゆううつ》そうな表情になった，「あとでわかったことだが、彼女は『文化大革命時代』に戻っていたのだ。若いころは工場の出納係だったし、引きずり出されて殴られたり、便所に入れられたり、陰陽頭にされたり、とにかく人間に対する最大の侮辱だった」 < p > ，そして、もっとも暴力的で、もっとも恐ろしい世界に戻ってしまった——私は沈黙する家族を見た，「じゃあ... ... どうするの? 」

彼女は言った。「ずいぶん考えたあげく、ひとつの方法を思いついたの。私は自分で証明書を書いて、『ある人はよく働き、よく振る舞い、愛国党であり、当工場の優秀な労働者であり、すべての待遇を回復した』と書いて、それから何という委員会かという大きな判子を刻んで、証明書に押した。看護婦さんに、お母さんが殴られたと言ったら、この証明書を見せるように言ってください」

< p > 私は失笑した，どうして私たち五十歳の女はみんな同じことをしているのだろう。母は毎日、財布の中の紙幣を数えていました「お金がないんだけど、どこに行ったの? 」私たちがお金が銀行にあると説明すると母は疑わしそうな目であなたを見ていました，それからいつも財布にしがみついて、心配で心配で、どうしよう？そこで「銀行の証明」を打ってみると、「○○さんが当行に500万円を預金していることを証明します」とあり、その下に四角いスタンプが押されていて、赤いもの、表のもの、裏のものがいくつも押されていて、見るからにおもしろい，威張っている。「彼女がお金のことを言い出したら、その証明書を見せてやってください」私は老眼鏡をいくつか用意して、「銀行証明書」と一緒に彼女のベッドサイドの引き出しに入れた。財布は、彼女の枕の下に押し込まれていた。< p > < p > マッサージが終わり、家族と私の「お母さん手記」の技術交換もそろそろ終わりだ。とつぜん、窓のそばに若い女が現われた。ひらひらしたシルクのズボンをはき、小さなチョッキを肩までのぞかせ、腰まであらわにして、みずみずしい美しさをたたえていた。その指は自分の髪の毛にまとわりついていた，人に見せるような薄笑いを浮かべて歩く。

がどこから来て、どこへ向かっているのか、だんだんわかってきて、月の光が漏れるように。

标题: 明白
作者: 龙应台
字数: 1616
简介: 二十岁的时候，我们的妈妈五十岁。我们是怎么谈她们的？我和家萱在一个浴足馆按摩，并排懒坐，有一句每一句地闲聊。一面落地大窗，外面看不进来，我们

Women's issues

我本没有预备讲这个题目，到安庆后，有一部分人要求讲这个，这问题也是很重要的，所以就临时加入了。

人类有一种“半身不遂”的病，在中风之后，有一部分麻木不仁；这种人一半失了作用，是很可怜的。诸位！我们社会上也害了这“半身不遂”的病几千年了，我们是否应当加以研究？

世界人类分男女两部，习惯上对于男子很发展，对于女子却剥夺她的自由，不准她发展，这就是社会的“半身不遂”的病。社会有了“半身不遂”的病，当然不是健全的社会了。女子问题发生，给我们一种觉悟，不再牺牲一半人生的天才自由，让女子本来有的天才，享受应有的权利，和男子共同担任社会的担子；使男子成一个健全的人，女子也成一个健全的人！于是社会便成了一个健全的社会！

我们以前从不将女子当做人：我们都以为她是父亲的女儿，以为她是丈夫的老婆，以为她是儿子的母亲；所以有“在家从父，出嫁从夫，夫死从子”的话，从来总不认她是一个人！在历史上，只有孝女、贤女、烈女、贞女、节妇、慈母，却没有一个“女人”！诸位！在历史上也曾见过传记称女子是人的么？

研究女子教育是研究什么？——昔日提倡女子教育的，是提倡良妻贤母；须知道良妻贤母是“人”，无所谓“女子”的。女子愿做良妻贤母，便去做她的良妻贤母，假使女子不愿意做良妻贤母，依旧可以做她的人的。先定了这个目标，然后再说旁的。

女子问题可以分两部分讲：

（一）女子解放。

（二）女子改造。

解放一部分是消极的。解放中包含有与束缚对待的意思，所以是消极的。改造却是积极的。改造是研究如何使女子成为人，用何种方法使女子自由发展。

（一）女子解放。解放必定先有束缚。这有两种讲法：一是形体的，一是精神的。

先讲形体的解放。在从前男子拿玩物看待女子，女子便也以玩物自居；许多不自由的刑具，女子都取而加在自己身上，现在算是比较的少了。如缠足、穿耳朵、束胸……等等都是，可以算得形体上已解放了。这种不过谈女子解放中的初级。试问除了少数受过教育的女子而外，中国有多少女子不缠足？如果我们不能实行天足运动，我们就不配谈女子解放！——我来安庆的时候，所见的女子，大半是缠足；这可以用干涉、讲演种种方法禁止她们，我希望下次再来安庆的时候，见不着一个缠足女子！——再谈束胸，起初因为美观起见，并不问合卫生与否。我的一个朋友曾经对我说，假使个个女子都束胸，以后都不可以做人的母亲了！

次讲精神的解放。在解放上面，以精神解放最为重要。精神解放怎样讲？——就是几千年来，社会上男子用了许多方法压制女子，引诱女子，便是女子精神上的手镣脚铐。择几桩大的说：

第一，未讲之先，提出一个标准来，——标准就是“为什么？”——“女子不为后嗣”。中国古时候最重的是“有后”——女子不算——家中有财产，女儿不能承受；没有儿子的，一定去在弟兄的儿子中间找一个来承继受领。女子的不能为后嗣，大半为着经济缘故，所以应当从经济方面提倡独立。有一个人临死，分财产做三股，两个女儿得两股，一个侄子得一股，但是他的本家，还要打官司。这个观念如若不打破，对于经济，对于道德，都有极大的关系。还有“娶妾”。一个人年长了，没有儿子，大家便劝他娶妾，——就是他的夫人，也要劝他，不如此，人家便要说她不贤慧——请问这一种恶劣的行为，是从什么地方产生的？再进一步说，既然同认女子是个人，又何以不能承受财产，不能为后？——这是应当打破的邪说之一！

第二，“女子贞操问题”。何谓贞操？——贞操是因男女间感情浓厚，不愿意再及于第三者身上。依新道德讲，男女都应当守贞操，历史上沿习却不然，男子可以嫖，可以纳妾；女子既不可以和人家通奸，反要受种种的限制，大概拿牌坊引诱，使女子守一个无爱情没有见过面的人，一部分女子，因而被他们引诱了。如此的社会，实在是杀人不抵命的东西！贞操实是双方男女共有的。我从前说：“男子嫖婊子，与女子和人通奸，是有同等的罪！”所以，“男子叫女子守节，女子也可以叫男子守节！男子如果可以讨姨太太，女子也就可以娶姨老爷！”谢太傅——谢安——晚年想纳妾，但他却怕老婆。他的朋友劝他，说公例可以纳妾；他的夫人在里面应道：“婆例不可！”——历来都用惯了“公例”，未常实行“婆例”。这种虚伪的贞操，委实可以打破。再简单说：“贞操是根据爱情的，是双方的！男子可以不守节，女子也可以不守节！”

第三，“女子责在阃内说”。女子的职务，在家庭以内，这种学说也是捆女子的一根铁索，如果不打断，就难说到解放。有许多女子，足能够做学问，可以学美术、文学……，可以当教员……；有许多男子，只配抱孩子、煮饭的。有许多事，男子不能做而女子能做。如果不打破这种学说，只是养成良妻贤母，实在不行。我们要使女子发展天才，决不能叫她永远须在家里头。女子会抱孩子、煮饭，也只是女子中的一部分，女子决不全是会抱孩子、煮饭的；有天才的女子，却往往因为这个缘故，不得尽量的发展。就说女子不能做他种事业，但她们做教师便比男子好得多了。总结一句：我们不应当拿家里洗衣、煮饭、抱孩子许多事体来难女子。我们吃饭，可以吃一品香、海洞春厨子做的，衣服可以拿到洗衣厂里去洗！

第四，“防闲的道德论”。由古代相传，男子对女子总有怀疑的态度，总有防闲的道德。现在人对女子，依旧有这一种态度。我所说安庆讲演会里职员，有许多女子加入，便引起了社会上的非难。我将告诉他们：“防闲决不是道德！”如把鸟雀关在笼中，一放他便飞了；不然，一年两年的工夫，也就闷死了。当我在西洋的时候，见中国许多留学生，常常闹笑话，在交际场中，遇了女子和他接洽，他便以为有意。由此，我连带想起一件故事。某人的笔记上说：“有一个老和尚，养了一个小孩子，作为小和尚；老和尚对他防闲得利害，使他不知世故。某年，老和尚带这小和尚下山，小和尚一件东西也不认识，逢到东西，老和尚不等他问，便一一的告诉他，恰巧有个女子经过，老和尚恐怕他沾染红尘，便不和他说。小和尚就问，老和尚便扯道：这是吃人的老鬼。等到回山的时候，老和尚便问他下山一日，有所爱否？小和尚说，所爱的只是吃人的老鬼！”防闲的道德，就是最不道德！我国学生，何以多说是不道德？实是因为防闲太利害了，一遇到恶人，便要堕落！我希望以后要打破防闲的道德论！平心而论，完全自由，也有流弊，不过总不可因噎废食的。不要以一二人的堕落而及于全部。而且自由的流弊，决不是防闲所可免，若求自由无流弊，必定要再加些自由于上面；自由又自由，丝毫流弊都没有了！因为怕流弊而禁止自由，流弊必定更多，且更不自由了！社会上应存“容人的态度”，须知社会上决没有无流弊的。张小姐闹事，只是张小姐；李小姐闹事，只是李小姐；决不能因为一两人而及于全体的！愿再加解放许多自由，叫他们晓得所以，自然没有流弊了！

（二）女子改造。改造方面，比较简单些。解放是对外的要求；改造却是对内的要求，但也不完全靠自己的！

先说内部。女子本身的改造，无论女子本身或提倡女子问题的，都要认明白目标：第一，“自立的能力”。女子问题第一个要点，就在这问题。女子嫁人，总要攀高些，却不问自立。我觉女子要做人，须注意“自立”，假如女子不能自立，决不能够解放去奋斗的。第二，“独立的精神”。这个名词，是老生常谈，不过我说的是精神上，不怕社会压制；社会反对，也是要干的！像现在这种时代是很不容易谈解放的。不顾社会非难，可以独行其是。第三，“先驱者的责任”。做先锋的责任，在谈女子问题中是很重要的。我们一举一动，在社会上极受影响。先驱者的责任，只要知道公德，不要过问私德；一人如此，可以波及全体的。不要使我个人行为，在女子运动上加了一个污点！我最不相信道德，但为了这个起见，也不得不相信了！我常常说：“当学生的，如其提倡废考，不如提倡严格考试；社交解放的先驱者，如提倡自由恋爱，不如提倡独身主义！”这是诸位要注意的！

（本文为1921年8月4日夜胡适在安庆青年会的演讲，张友鸾、陈东原记录，原载1922年5月1日《妇女杂志》第8卷第5号）

I wasn't going to talk about it, but when I got to Anqing, some people asked me to talk about it, and it was important, so I just jumped in. Human beings have a "paraplegia", a partial Zombie after a stroke, and it is a pity that half of them are useless. Gentlemen! Our Society has also suffered from this "paraplegia" disease for thousands of years, we should be studied? The world of human beings is divided into two parts: men and women. It is customary for men to develop, but for women it deprives them of their freedom and prevents them from developing. This is the disease of "hemiplegia" in society. Society has a "paraplegia" disease, of course, is not a healthy society. The occurrence of women's problems gives us a kind of consciousness, no longer sacrifice half of life's genius freedom, let women have the talent, enjoy the right, and men to share the burden of society; Make a man a sound man, and a woman a sound man! Then the society becomes a sound society! We never thought of a woman as a human being before: we all thought of her as the daughter of her father, as the wife of her husband, as the mother of her son; So there is "at home from the father, married from the husband, the husband died from the son," then, never recognize her as a person! In history, there are only filial piety, virtuous women, martyrs, Virgins, virtuous women, loving mothers, but not a "woman"! Gentlemen! Have biographies ever claimed that women were human? What is the study of Women's education? In the past, it was the good wife and good mother who advocated the education of women. We should know that a good wife and good mother are "human beings" and there is no such thing as "women". If a woman is not willing to be a good wife and a good mother, she can still be her person. Set that goal first, then move on. The woman problem can be divided into two parts:

< p > (I) women's liberation.

< p > (2) women's reform. Part of liberation is negative. Liberation contains the meaning of being treated with bondage, so it is negative. The transformation is positive. Transformation is the study of how to make women human and how to make women develop freely. (1) women's liberation. There must be a bond before liberation. There are two ways of saying this: one is physical, the other is spiritual.

first talk about the liberation of the body. In the old days, when men used to treat women as objects, women considered themselves objects; many of the instruments of torture which were not free were taken by women and added to themselves; now they are comparatively few. Such as foot binding, ear piercing, corset... and so on, can be considered physically liberated. This kind of talk is only the primary in women's liberation. With the exception of a few educated women, how many women in China do not bind their feet? If we can not carry out the heavenly foot movement, we do not deserve to talk about women's Liberation! - when I came to Anqing, most of the women I saw were bound feet; this could be done by intervention, by speech, by any means, and I hope that the next time I come to Anqing I shall not see a bound foot woman! -- the corset, at first, for the sake of beauty, does not ask whether it is sanitary or not. A friend of mine once said to me, if all the women are corset, the future can not be a person's mother!

< p > times talk about spiritual liberation. On liberation, spiritual liberation is the most important. What about spiritual liberation? For thousands of years, men in society have used many methods to oppress and seduce women, which is the fetters and fetters of women's spirit. Choose a few big say:

< p > first, before I say, put forward a standard,-the standard is "Why?"-"a woman is not an heir. In ancient China, the most important thing was "Youhou"-- a woman does not count -- a family had property that a daughter could not afford; those who did not have sons must go to one of their brothers'sons to inherit and receive it. Women can not be heirs, mostly for economic reasons, it should be from the economic aspect to promote independence. When a man died, he divided his property into three shares, two shares for his two daughters and one share for his nephew, but his own family had to fight a lawsuit. This idea, if not broken, has a great deal to do with economics and morality. And "take a concubine.". When a man is old and has no son, they persuade him to take a concubine, even his wife, or else they will say she is not virtuous, where does it come from? Furthermore, since women are recognized as individuals, why can not accept property, can not be after? This is one of the myths that should be broken! Second, "the problem of a woman's virtue". What is virginity? Chastity is due to the strong feelings between men and women, do not want to extend to the third person. According to the new morality, both men and women should be chaste, but historically it was not the case that men could have sex with prostitutes and take concubines, and women were not allowed to fornicate with other people, but were subjected to various restrictions, probably by using a memorial archway to seduce them, to keep a woman without love, who has never met, and some of the women are seduced by them. Such a society, is really killing something indefensible! Chastity is shared by both men and women. I once said, "it is an equal crime for a man to go whoring with a woman and fornicate with another." "If a man can ask a woman to observe the festival, a woman can ask a man to observe the festival. If a man can ask for his wife, a woman can also marry his master." Shahan, the Chief Minister, wanted to take concubines in his old age, but he's afraid of his wife. His friend advised him that the common law allowed him to take concubines; and his wife replied, "not the mother-in-law!"-- the common law has always been used, but the common law has not always been practiced. This kind of false chastity, can actually break. Then simply say: "virginity is based on love, is both! Men can not keep festival, women can not keep festival!"

< p > third, "the woman responsible in the inside said.". The office of the woman, within the family, this doctrine is also a tie of the woman's iron, if not interrupted, it is difficult to say liberation. There are many women, enough to do learning, can learn art, literature... , can be teachers... ; there are many men, only hold children, cooking. There are many things a man can not do and a woman can do. If we do not break the doctrine, just to foster a good wife and a good mother, really not good. We must develop the genius of a woman; we must never keep her at home. Women can hold children, cooking, but only a part of women, women will not hold children, cooking; there are talented women, but often because of this reason, not as far as possible development. It is said that women can not do other things, but they are much better than men as teachers. To sum up: We should not take home washing, cooking, holding the children of many things to women. We Eat, can eat a taste of incense, Haidong spring cook, clothes can be taken to the laundry to wash! Fourth, "the moral theory of leisure". From ancient times, men always have a suspicious attitude towards women, there is always the moral of leisure. People still have this kind of attitude towards women. When I say that there are many women in the staff of the Anqing Toastmasters, it causes social censure. I will tell them, "it is not moral to be idle!" If a bird is kept in a cage, it will fly; otherwise, in a year or two, it will suffocate. When I was in the west, I saw a lot of Chinese students, often make a joke, in the social field, met a woman and he approached, he thought it was intended. This brings to mind a story. One man's note said, "there was an old monk who raised a child as a young monk. The old monk kept him safe from idleness and kept him ignorant of the world. One year, the old monk took the little monk down the mountain, the little monk did not know a thing, when things, the old monk did not wait for him to ask, one by one told him, happened to have a woman through, the Old Monk afraid he would be stained with red dust, and he did not say. The young monk asked, and the Old Monk said, this is a man-eating ghost. When it was time to return to the mountain, the old monk asked him if he had any love for the day he came down? The little monk said, "All you love is an old man who eats people!" Is the most immoral! Why is it immoral for Chinese students to say so much? It is because the prevention of leisure is too great, a wicked person, they will fall! I hope to break the moral theory of leisure in the future! To be fair, complete freedom has its drawbacks, but one should never give up eating for fear of choking. Do not extend to all by the depravity of one or two. And the evils of liberty are by no means immune from the evils of leisure; if liberty be sought, liberty must be added; Liberty and liberty, no evils at all! Because of the fear of abuse and prohibit freedom, abuse is bound to be more, and less free! There should be a "tolerant attitude" in society, we should know that there is no such thing as a free-flowing society. Miss Zhang causes trouble, it's only Miss Zhang; Miss Li causes trouble, it's only Miss Li; never because of one or two people and the whole! May more freedoms be set free, that they may know that, therefore, there is no evil!

< p > (2) women's reform. In terms of transformation, it's easier. Liberation is the demand of the outside world; transformation is the demand of the inside, but it is not entirely self-reliant!

< P > inside first. The transformation of women themselves, whether women themselves or advocates of women's issues, must understand the goals: first, "self-reliance.". That's the first thing about women. When a woman marries, she must always climb higher, but never ask for self-support. I think a woman should be a person, should pay attention to "self-reliance", if a woman can not self-reliance, never be able to liberation to struggle. Second, the spirit of independence. The term, is a cliche, but I said that the spirit, not afraid of social repression; social opposition, but also to do! It's not easy to talk about liberation in times like these. Regardless of social stigma, you can go your own way. Third, "the responsibility of the pioneers". The responsibility of being a pioneer is very important in talking about women's issues. Our actions have a profound impact on society. The responsibility of the pioneers, as long as know public morality, do not interfere in private morality; one person so, can affect the whole. Don't make me a personal blemish on the women's movement! I don't believe in morality, but for the sake of it, I have to! I have often said, "those who are students, as much as those who advocate abolition of examinations, should advocate strict examinations; those who are pioneers of social liberation, as much as those who advocate free love, should advocate asceticism!" This is what you should pay attention to!

(this is Hu Shih's speech at the Anqing Youth Association on the night of August 4,1921, recorded by Zhang Youluan and Chen Dongyuan, originally published in Women's Magazine, Volume 8, No. 5, on May 1,1922)

标题: 女子问题
作者: 胡适
字数: 3200
简介: 我本没有预备讲这个题目，到安庆后，有一部分人要求讲这个，这问题也是很重要的，所以就临时加入了。人类有一种“半身不遂”的病，在中风之后，有一部

こんにちは

对方，不需要很有钱，不必英明神武；是否才华盖世，亦不重要；似不似玉树临风，也无所谓。只要他对你好，事事以你为重，普通人已经够好。

正如大作家所说：“条件再好，不爱我，有什么用?”

物质同客观条件固然非常重要，但到了某一地步，人自然有心灵上的需求。一个懂得尊重对方的伴侣，谈吐幽默，具有生活情趣，又事事体贴，十分不易。

见对方能力略有不逮，即舍之而去，是相当不智的做法。世上的确有际遇这回事，要给他机会，也给自己机会，都会遍地黄金，有志者事竞成。

成功与欢乐如无人分享，就只剩寂寞。流泪之际，缺少一个结实的肩膀依傍，更凄惶不安。

物质与精神均感满足，才是优质生活。不用吃最好住最好穿最好，走出来最威风最神气。

崇尚功利是商业社会的至盛风气，无可厚非，有一定要有，优哉游哉。对方若志不在此，实在不必勉强。

好伴侣一个鼓励的眼神，一个愉快的笑容，适当安慰，深切了解，均属生活必需。对你好最重要。

有人从影数十年，不红，到处诉苦：“我从不迟到，亦不早退早退，听话，公司叫做什么便做什么，至今尚未名成利就，何故?”

大有天无眼之感。

来红先骄，是致命伤；不红不骄，却不计分。光是不迟到不早退，绝无可能造就一位明星。单单听话、服从，甚至不足以成为一位优秀公务员。

做任何一个行业，都得在岗位上有所表现。红、不骄、不迟到、不早退、敬业乐业、有衣食，那才是高手。

职业写作人，不脱稿就算尽了责任?非也非也，此乃最基本入行条件，切勿以为天天交稿就是对编者读者恩重如山。内容才是最最重要的一环，能人所不能者，地位才最稳固。稿德稿质，缺一不可。

伴侣变了心，常听到有一方哭诉：“我做错了什么?”同样的逻辑：不错，是不够的；有人做得更好，略差的便遭淘汰，理所当然。什么时代了，光是守纪律，便想拿功勋，没有这种事。

P 相手は、金持ちである必要もなければ、明神である必要もなく、才能があるかどうかも重要ではない。彼があなたに優しくしてくれる限り、あなたのことを優しくしてくれるだけで、普通の人は十分です。

は大作家が言うように、「いくら条件がいいからといって、私を愛してくれなくて何の役に立つのか」

は物質と客観的な条件はもちろん大切だが、あるところまでくると、自然に心の要求がある。相手を尊重することを知っているパートナーは、ユーモアを交えて話し、生活を楽しみ、思いやりがあり、とても簡単ではありません。

< p > 相手の能力がやや不足しているのを見て、捨ててしまうのは、かなり無謀なやり方だ。世の中にはチャンスというものがあります彼にチャンスを与え自分にもチャンスを与えるということはすべてアカヤジオウに行き渡り、意志を持って成し遂げることができます。< p > < p > 成功と喜びを分かち合う人がいなければ、寂しさだけが残る。涙を流しているうちに、頑丈《がんじょう》な肩が一つ欠けて、いっそう物悲しくなった。

< p > 物質的にも精神的にも満足しているからこそ、良質な生活だ。食べなくても住んだほうがいいし着たほうがいいし、出てきたほうが威張《いば》っているほうがいい。P 功利主義は商業社会の至上の風土であることを尊ぶのは当然であり、あるべきものはあるべきである。相手がここにいなければ、無理をする必要はない。

< p > いいパートナーは励ますようなまなざし、楽しい笑顔、適切な慰め、深い理解、すべて生活に必要なものです。あなたにとって最も大切なこと。「私は遅刻もしない、早退もしない、早退もしない、言うことを聞く、会社は何と言われても何でもする、今まで名を成さなかったのはどうしてだろう」とあちこちで訴えている。

来紅さん驕《おご》るは致命傷《ちめいしょう》、赤くならず驕《おご》らず、しかし点数を数えない。遅刻も早退もしないだけでは、スターにはなれない。言うことを聞き、従うだけでは、立派な公務員にはなれない。

< p > はどんな業界でも、ポジションで何らかのパフォーマンスを見せなければならない。アカ、慢心せず、遅刻せず、早退せず、楽業県、衣食あってこその達人である。< p > < p > プロのライター、脱稿しなければ責任果たす?これが最低の入行条件であって、毎日原稿を渡すことが、編者読者に対する恩義だと思ってはならない。内容こそもっとも重要なものであり、能力者には不可能であり、地位はもっとも確固たるものである。原稿用紙に1枚欠けている。

< p > パートナーが心変わりして、一方が「何か悪いことをした」と泣き言を言うのをよく耳にします。同じロジックです: そうですね、十分ではありません。もっとうまくできる人がいれば、少し下手な人は淘汰されるのが当たり前です。いつの時代でも、規律を守るだけで手柄《てがら》を立てようとするなんて、そんなことはない。

标题: 对你好
作者: 亦舒
字数: 731
简介: 对方，不需要很有钱，不必英明神武；是否才华盖世，亦不重要；似不似玉树临风，也无所谓。只要他对你好，事事以你为重，普通人已经够好。正如大作家所

The moral bondage of power

我以前在街边的水果摊买樱桃、葡萄之类的水果时，总想挑出其中最新鲜好看的，但是常常受到摊主的阻挠：“不许挑！不许挑！”也是，如果我把好的都挑走了，坏的他怎么卖呢？其实岂止卖葡萄樱桃，卖企业也是一样：几年前中国产权改革如日中天的时候，为了甩掉一些不良企业，据说一些地方政府采取的办法是：哪个投资者要想买好资产，就得接受与之“搭售”的差资产。可见无论是卖葡萄还是卖企业，好坏搭配是推销之道。

后来我慢慢意识到，很多集权政府的治国之道也是如此，甚至可以说，很多集权政府的成功秘诀正在于此：为了推销强权的苦咖啡，得搭售道德的白砂糖，咖啡加糖，专制也就打开了销路。其实道理很简单，要说服民众放弃权利、财产、自由是很难的，甚至是不可能的，但是如果能让民众在打倒假丑恶的过程中“不知不觉”地放弃其权利和自由，那么民众对集权政府俯首帖耳就水到渠成了。

最典型的例子莫过于朱元璋，其治国之策可以说是政治酷寒和道德狂热的成功会合。一方面，其治下不但有锦衣卫这种秘密警察制度，明初的里甲制度也比任何时代更严密，志在把全民都变成秘密警察，“如鸟之在笼，兽之在柙，虽欲放逸，有不可得”。朱元璋不但利用胡惟庸案、蓝玉案等清洗成千上万潜在的政治威胁，而且还用强制民众迁徙的方式开发地广人稀之地，用强制子承父业的方式干预民众的从业自由。其暴虐到什么程度呢？据说某个街头老妇没有尊称其为皇上，而称之“老头”，朱元璋一怒之下，不但杀掉老妇，而且顺便干掉了老妇所在街区的所有其他人。

但是另一方面，这位“老头”又对道德纯洁性有着孜孜不倦的追求。他不喜酒肉，不荒淫无度，别的皇帝用金制物品，他要求以黄铜代之，“朕本农夫，深知民间疾苦”。对贪官他疾恶如仇，“官吏宿娼，罪亚杀人一等”，贪污六十两银子，就剥皮实草。他对地方官员的“截访”行为也深恶痛绝，认为应当给民众伸冤开绝对的绿灯，有个地方官员试图截访，被他发现后，阉之为奴。他还要求各乡各里建申明亭作为思想品德教育的宣传站，提醒人们尊老爱幼长幼有序。

如果他是纯粹的暴君，民间可能早就揭竿而起了。但是朱元璋同时又是这样一个道德清教徒，很多人喝着咖啡加糖就给喝晕了：“杀贪官？好！”于是在迎接道德特洛伊木马的过程中，不知不觉也迎接了“木马”腹中的极权统治。

在极“左”年代，如何动员亿万群众加入残酷的政治斗争？很大程度上还是要靠权力和道德的“打包”。要让民众接受“错抄一句语录就会被打成现行反革命、收听外国广播就要挨批斗”的制度安排，当然很难，但是假如接受这一安排的“收益”是可以批斗那些以前颐指气使的、享受特权的“土豪劣绅”或者“修正主义走资派”，“出一口恶气”，也许这个交易还算划算？所以革命期间每次政治清洗运动，往往都伴随着党内整风运动，前者目的是修理“地富反坏右”，而后者则是“让党员干部在群众批斗中过关”。一口咖啡一勺糖，革命群众在打倒土豪劣绅、打倒张子善刘青山、打倒官僚主义的道德欢呼声中逐渐拱手交出自由和权利。

权力和道德捆绑也不是中国的特产。比如今天的某些政教合一的国家，女人穿衣服不能有伤风化，同性恋被抓住甚至可能被绞死，好莱坞电影一概取缔——谁让它充满了色情和暴力？这种对道德纯洁性的追求在某些宗教激进主义者中深得人心，而这些激进主义者刚好构成政教合一政权的统治基础。

早在中世纪，马基雅维利就在《君主论》中指出，一个成功的统治者要同时具有狮子的凶猛和狐狸的狡诈，要在被惧怕的同时被爱戴。当然，道德和权力的共生性未必只是统治策略：一些专制者很可能“真心”地追求道德纯洁性，而这种追求恰恰与人类对纯洁性的迷恋契合。纯洁性固然美好，但是它对世界丰富性和复杂性的敌视，它天然的非黑即白世界观，本身就为专制提供了最好的精神土壤。因为深知道德说辞如何在历史上给权力如虎添翼，所以我虽然敬重一切洁身自好的个体，但是对一切来自当权者的整风、反低俗文化、打黑运动都心存疑虑，此类口号一出，总想要打开特洛伊木马的肚子，看看里面到底有没有什么猫腻。

I used to pick out the freshest and best looking fruits from the fruit stalls on the street, but was often discouraged by the vendors: "no picking! No picking!" If I take the good ones, how's he gonna sell the bad ones? In fact, not only selling grape cherries, but also selling enterprises: a few years ago, when China's property rights reform was in full swing, in order to get rid of some bad enterprises, some local governments are said to have adopted an approach in which investors who want to buy good assets have to accept "Tie-ins" with bad assets. Obviously no matter is sells the grape or sells the enterprise, the good and bad match is sells the way. Then I came to realize that the same is true of many totalitarian governments, and indeed the secret of many totalitarian governments'success lies in this: to sell the bitter coffee of power, one must sell the white sugar of morality, when coffee is sweetened, despotism opens the door. In fact, the reason is very simple. It is difficult, even impossible, to persuade the people to give up their rights, property and freedom, but if you can get people to "unknowingly" give up their rights and Freedoms in the fight against fake ugliness, it's easy to get people to fall in line with authoritarian governments. The most striking example of this is Hongwu Emperor, whose approach to statecraft could be described as a successful combination of political cold and moral fervor. On the one hand, it not only had the secret police system of Jinyiwei under its rule, but also the Lijia system in the early Ming dynasty was more rigorous than any other time, aiming to turn all the people into secret police, "If a bird is caught in a cage and an animal is caught in a cage, it is not to be caught.". Hongwu Emperor not only used the Hu Weiyong case and the Blue Jade case to purge tens of thousands of potential political threats, but also used forced migration to develop vast and sparsely populated areas, to interfere with People's freedom of employment by forcing them to follow in their father's footsteps. How tyrannical is it? Hongwu Emperor was said to have killed not only the old woman on the street, but everyone else in her neighborhood in a fit of rage, for calling her "old man" instead of "Emperor.". But on the other hand, the "old man" has a tireless pursuit of moral purity. He did not like wine and meat, and did not indulge in debauchery. Other emperors used gold objects. He asked for brass instead. To corrupt officials, he was as sick and evil as an enemy. "officials live as prostitutes, and their crime is murder." He embezzled 60 taels of silver and peeled off solid grass. He also abhors the practice of "intercepting interviews" by local officials. He believes that people should be given an absolute green light to seek justice. When a local official tried to intercept him, he found him and castrated him as a slave. He also asked the villages and towns to build the pavilion as a propaganda station for ideological and moral education, reminding people to respect the old, love the young and be orderly. If he had been a pure tyrant, the people would have Daze Village Uprising. But Hongwu Emperor was also a moral puritan, and many people got dizzy over coffee and sugar: "killing corrupt officials? Good!" So in the course of greeting the moral trojan horse, imperceptibly also welcomed the "Trojan horse" in the belly of the totalitarian rule. How to mobilize hundreds of millions of people to join the brutal political struggle in the extreme "left" age? Much depends on the "packaging" of power and morality. Of course, it is difficult for the people to accept the institutional arrangement that "a wrong quotation will be branded as the current counter-revolution, and listening to foreign radio will be criticized", but if the "benefits" of accepting this arrangement are to criticize the "local tyrants and evil gentry" or the "Revisionism capitalist roaders" who used to boss around and enjoy special privileges, and to "vent their indignation", maybe it's a good deal? So every political purge during the revolution was often accompanied by a Yan'an Rectification Movement within the party, the former aimed at repairing the "rich land against the evil right", while the latter aimed at "getting party members and cadres through mass criticism". With a mouthful of coffee and a spoonful of sugar, the revolutionary masses gradually surrendered their freedom and rights to the moral cheers of overthrowing local tyrants and evil gentry, overthrowing Zhang Zishan and Liu Qingshan, and overthrowing bureaucracy. Nor is the bundling of power and morality a specialty of China. Today, for example, in some religious and political countries, women can not dress indecently, homosexuals can be caught or even hanged, and Hollywood films are banned -- because they are full of pornography and violence? This pursuit of moral purity is popular with some religious radicals, who form the basis of the theocratic regime. As early as the Middle Ages, Machiavelli pointed out in the prince that a successful ruler must have both the ferocity of a lion and the cunning of a fox, to be feared and loved. Of course, the symbiosis of morality and power is not necessarily a ruling strategy: some despots are likely to pursue moral purity "sincerely", and this pursuit is precisely in line with the human obsession with purity. Purity is beautiful, but its hostility to the richness and complexity of the world, its natural black and white worldview, itself provides the best spiritual soil for despotism. Because I know how moral discourse has historically enhanced power, so while I respect all individuals who are chaste, but they are suspicious of all the rectification, anti-vulgarity and anti-mafia campaigns that come from those in power, and they always want to open up the Trojan horse and see if there is anything wrong with it.

标题: 权力的道德捆绑
作者: 刘瑜
字数: 1620
简介: 我以前在街边的水果摊买樱桃、葡萄之类的水果时，总想挑出其中最新鲜好看的，但是常常受到摊主的阻挠：“不许挑！不许挑！”也是，如果我把好的都挑走

Pond perch

夏目漱石的小说《旅宿》（日文名《草枕》）中，有这样的一段文章：“象火车那样足以代表二十世纪的文明的东西，恐怕没有了。把几百个人装在同样的箱子里蓦然地拉走，毫不留情。被装进在箱子里的许多人，必须大家用同样的速度奔向同一车站，同样地熏沐蒸汽的恩泽。别人都说乘火车，我说是装进火车里。别人都说乘了火车走，我说被火车搬运。象火车那样蔑视个性的东西是没有的了。……”

我翻译这篇小说时，一面非笑这位夏目先生的顽固，一面体谅他的心情。在二十世纪中，这样重视个性，这样嫌恶物质文明的，恐怕没有了。有之，还有一个我，我自己也怀着和他同样的心情呢。从我乡石门湾到杭州，只要坐一小时轮船，乘一小时火车，就可到达。但我常常坐客船，走运河，在塘栖过夜，走它两三天，到横河桥上岸，再坐黄包车来到田家园的寓所。这寓所赛如我的“行宫”，有一男仆经常照管着。我那时不务正业，全靠在家写作度日，虽不富裕，倒也开销得过。

客船是我们水乡一带地方特有的一种船。水乡地方，河流四通八达。这环境娇养了人，三五里路也要坐船，不肯步行。客船最讲究，船内装备极好。分为船梢、船舱、船头三部分，都有板壁隔开。船梢是摇船人工作之所，烧饭也在这里。船舱是客人坐的，船头上安置什物。舱内设一榻、一小桌，两旁开玻璃窗，窗下都有坐板。那张小桌平时摆在船舱角里，三只短脚搁在坐板上，一只长脚落地。倘有四人共饮，三只短脚可接长来，四脚落地，放在船舱中央。此桌约有二尺见方，叉麻雀也可以。舱内隔壁上都嵌着书画镜框，竟象一间小小的客堂。这种船真可称之为画船。这种画船雇用一天大约一元。（那时米价每石约二元半。）我家在附近各埠都有亲戚，往来常坐客船。因此船家把我们当作老主雇。但普通只雇一天，不在船中宿夜。只有我到杭州，才包它好几天。

吃过早饭，把被褥用品送进船内，从容开船。凭窗闲眺两岸景色，自得其乐。中午，船家送出酒饭来。傍晚到达塘栖，我就上岸去吃酒了。塘栖是一个镇，其特色是家家门前建着凉棚，不怕天雨。有一句话，叫做“塘栖镇上落雨，淋勿着”。“淋”与“轮”发音相似，所以凡事轮不着，就说“塘栖镇上落雨”。且说塘栖的酒店，有一特色，即酒菜种类多而分量少。几十只小盆子罗列着，有荤有素，有干有湿，有甜有咸，随顾客选择。真正吃酒的人，才能赏识这种酒家。若是壮士、莽汉，象樊哙、鲁智深之流，不宜上这种酒家。他们狼吞虎嚼起来，一盆酒菜不够一口。必须是所谓酒徒，才可请进来。酒徒吃酒，不在菜多，但求味美。呷一口花雕，嚼一片嫩笋，其味无穷。这种人深得酒中三昧，所以称之为“徒”。迷于赌博的叫做赌徒，迷于吃酒的叫做酒徒。但爱酒毕竟和爱钱不同，故酒徒不宜与赌徒同列。和尚称为僧徒，与酒徒同列可也。我发了这许多议论，无非要表示我是个酒徒，故能常识塘栖的酒家。我吃过一斤花雕，要酒家做碗素面，便醉饱了。算还了酒钞，便走出门，到淋勿着的塘栖街上去散步。塘栖枇杷是有名的。我买些白沙枇杷，回到船里，分些给船娘，然后自吃。

在船里吃枇杷是一件快适的事。吃枇杷要剥皮，要出核，把手弄脏，把桌子弄脏。吃好之后必须收拾桌子，洗手，实在麻烦。船里吃枇杷就没有这种麻烦。靠在船窗口吃，皮和核都丢在河里，吃好之后在河里洗手。坐船逢雨天，在别处是不快的，在塘栖却别有趣味。因为岸上淋勿着，绝不妨碍你上岸。况且有一种诗趣，使你想起古人的佳句：“人人尽说江南好，游人只合江南老。春水碧于天，画船听雨眠。”“闲梦江南梅熟日，夜船吹笛雨潇潇。”古人赞美江南，不是信口乱道，却是亲身体会才说出来的。江南佳丽地，塘栖水乡是代表之一。我谢绝了二十世纪的文明产物的火车，不惜工本地坐客船到杭州，实在并非顽固。知我者，其唯夏目漱石乎？

In Natsume Sōseki's novel sojourn, there is such an article: "Like the train as a representative of the twentieth century civilization, I am afraid that there is nothing.". Hundreds of people in the same box suddenly pulled away, without mercy. Many who are packed in boxes must all run to the same station at the same speed and bathe in the same steaming grace. They say take the train. I say put it in the train. People say they took the train. I say they took the train. There is nothing like a train that scorns individuality. When I translated the novel, while laughing at the obstinacy of this Mr. Summer Eye, while understanding his mood. In the twentieth century, such emphasis on personality, such aversion to material civilization, I am afraid that there is no. There was another me, and I felt the same way myself. From Shimen Bay to Hangzhou, it is only an hour by ship and an hour by train. But I often take a passenger boat, take the canal, spend the night in the pond, walk it for two or three days, go to the Yokogawa Bridge on the shore, and then take a rickshaw to Tian Jiayuan's apartment. This apartment was like my "Private Palace", under the constant care of a footman. I was not working; I was writing at home, and though I was not rich, I was able to afford it. Passenger ship is a kind of ship peculiar to the area around our Watertown. The water village place, the river extends in all directions. This environment is pampered, three or five miles by boat, refused to walk. Passenger ships are the most fastidious, the ship interior equipment is extremely good. Divided into stern, cabin, bow three parts, are separated by the plate wall. The tip of the boat was where the boat men worked, and so was the cook. The cabin is for guests. There's something on the bow. In the cabin, there is a couch and a small table, with glass windows on both sides and a seat plate under the windows. The little table was usually placed in the corner of the cabin, with three short feet resting on the seat-board and one long foot on the floor. If there are four people to drink, three short feet can be extended, four feet on the ground, placed in the middle of the cabin. The table is about two feet square, so can the sparrows. In the cabin on the next wall are inlaid with picture frames, like a small living room. Such a ship could really be called a painted boat. Such boats cost about a dollar a day. At that time, the price of rice was about two and a half yuan per stone. So the boatmen regard us as their old employers. But it's usually only for a day, not a night on a boat. Only when I get to Hangzhou, do I pack it for several days. After breakfast, the bedding was brought into the boat and the boat sailed at a leisurely pace. With windows overlooking the scenery on both sides of the river, enjoy themselves. At noon, the boatman sent out wine and rice. After arriving at Tangxi in the evening, I went ashore for a drink. Tangqi is a town, its characteristics is built in front of the house awning, not afraid of the rain. There is a word, called "Tangqi town rain, do not rain.". "Lin" and "round" sound similar, so everything is not round, said "Tangqi town rain. And Say Tangqi Hotel, there is a feature, that is, the variety of dishes and small portions. Dozens of small pots listed, there are vegetarian, dry and wet, sweet and salty, as customers choose. Only those who really eat wine can appreciate this kind of restaurant. If the strong men, boorish men, like Fan Kuai, Lu Zhishen and the like, should not go to this kind of restaurant. They wolfed down less than a bowl of food and wine. You have to be an alleged alcoholic to get in here. Drunks eat wine, not in the vegetable, but delicious. Sip a flower carving, chew a piece of tender shoots, its taste is endless. This kind of person gets samadhi in wine deeply, so it is called" tu". Those who are addicted to gambling are called gamblers and those who are addicted to drinking are called alcoholics. But Love Wine, after all, and love money is different, it is not suitable for wine and gamblers in the same column. The monk is called a monk, and the same line with the wine can also be. I made a lot of comments, but to show that I am a drinker, it can be common sense tangqi restaurant. I ate a catty of carved flowers, to the restaurant to do bowl of plain noodles, then drunk enough. Calculate returned wine money, then walk out the door, to the drench do not go for a walk on Tangqi Street. Tangqi loquat is famous. I buy some white sand loquat, go back to the boat, give some to the boat niang, then eat. Eating loquat in a boat is a quick fix. Loquat to eat to Peel, out of the core, dirty hands, dirty table. After eating must clean the table, wash hands, really troublesome. Loquats in boats don't have that problem. Eat by the window of the boat. Throw the skin and pit in the river. Wash your hands in the river after eating. A rainy day by boat is unpleasant in other places, but interesting in Tangqi. Because the shore drench not, never hinder you to go ashore. Besides, there is a kind of poetic taste, it reminds you of an old saying of the ancients: "Everyone says Jiangnan is good, but tourists are only old in the south of the Yangtze River. The spring water is clear in the sky, and the painting boat is sleeping while listening to the rain.""idleness dreams of the plum-ripened day in the south of the Yangtze River, and the boat blows its flute and rains at night." I'm not saying it out loud, but I'm saying it out loud. Jiangnan beautiful land, Tangqi Water Township is one of the representatives. I declined the 20th century civilization products of the train, at the expense of local passenger ship to Hangzhou, it is not stubborn. Those who knew me ,?

标题: 塘栖
作者: 丰子恺
字数: 1501
简介: 夏目漱石的小说《旅宿》（日文名《草枕》）中，有这样的一段文章：“象火车那样足以代表二十世纪的文明的东西，恐怕没有了。把几百个人装在同样的箱子

誰か来るぞ

我不知道为什么——居然眼下才注意到这一点我个人呆在办公望红我已经模模糊糊感觉到这一点。在我意识的某个部分，有一种放松下来的深度感觉，一种肺部呼吸得更加自由的感觉。

这是我们忽来忽去的一些奇异感觉之一：在平常充满着人面和嘈杂声音的房子里，或者在属于别人的房子里，发现我们独自一人。我们突然会有一种绝对占有之感，随意之感，主人般慷慨大方之感，像我已经说过的，有一种放松和平宁的充分感觉。

一个人呆着真是太好了！可以对我们自己大声说话，可以在没有他人目光相加的情况下走来走去，可以往后靠一靠做个无人打搅的白日梦！所有的房子都成为了一片草地，所有的努间都有乡间别墅般宽大。

所有的声音听起来都像来自别的什么地方，它们都属于一个近旁却是无关的世界。到最后，我们成了国王。这是我们所有人都追求的目标，而且是谁知道呢，比起把假金子装进他们腰包来说，也许我们当中有更多的庶民对王位的渴望更要急切，在短短的这一刻，我一们是世界的食禄者，靠着常规的收人而存在，活得无念而且无忧。

呵，但是，楼道上响起了脚步声，不知是什么人走过来了。我发现这个人将打破我其乐融融的孤独。我没有昭告天下的王位将要被强盗们侵犯。这不是说我能够从楼道上的脚步声中辨出来者是谁，也不是脚步声让我想起一个特别的什么人。尽管只有脚步声，但灵魂中一种神秘的直觉，已经告诉我是什么人在上楼（突然出现在眼前的人刚好是一直在我想象中上楼来的人）走向这里。是的，是公司里的职员之一。他停住了，在我听到的开门声中，走了进来。我现在正式看见了他。他对我说：“就一个人呵，索阿雷斯先生？”我回答：“是的，我在这里已经有好一会儿了……”接着，他取茄克的时候盯上了他的另一件，挂在钩子上旧的那一件，“一个人在这里简直没意思透了，索阿雷斯先生……”

“是的，是没意思透了。”他已经穿上了他那件旧茄克，走向他的办公桌，又说：“肯定搞得你想要打瞌睡了吧。”“是的，确实是想要打瞌睡了。”我表示赞同，而且微笑，然后伸手去寻找我已经忘记多时的笔，在抄写中返回我正常生活中莫名的安康。

1933年3月29日

< p > どうしてかはわからないけど——今になってそれに気づくなんて、私は個人的にオフィスにいて、アカを見ていて、それを漠然と感じていた。私の意識のどこかで、ゆったりとした深い感覚があり、肺がより自由に呼吸できるような感覚があった。これは私たちが行ったり来たりしている奇妙な感覚の一つです人の顔や騒音でいっぱいの家や他人の家で私たちが一人でいるのを見つけることです。わたしたちは突然、絶対的な自分のものになったような気持ちになる。自由な気持ち、主人のような寛大な気持ち、すでに述べたような安らぎを感じる。< p > < p > 一人になってよかった！自分自身に向かって大声で話しかけることもできるし、他人の目を気にすることもなく歩き回ることもできるし、誰にも邪魔されない白昼夢を見ることもできる！すべての家は一面の草地となり、すべての間には封臣のような広さがあった。

のすべての音は、どこか別の場所から聞こえてくるように聞こえる。それらはすべて、近くにあるが無関係な世界に属している。そして最後には、わたしたちは王になった。これはわれわれ全員が目指している目標であり、それが誰にもわからないことだが、偽金を懐に入れることよりも、われわれの中にはもっと王位に飢えている庶民がたくさんいるのかもしれない，私たちは世界の食禄者《しょくろくしゃ》であり、定められた収人《しゅうにん》によって存在し、無念無想《むねんむそう》に生きている。しかし、廊下に足音がして、何者かが近づいてきた。そして、その人物が、わたしの孤独を打ち破ってくれることを知った。私は天下の王位が10人の泥棒たちに侵されることを知らせなかった。階段を上がってくる足音から、それが誰であるかを見分けられるわけでもなく、足音が特別な誰かを思い出させるわけでもない。足音しか聞こえなかったけれど、何者かが階段を上がってきている(突然目の前に現れた人物は、私の想像の中でずっと階段を上がってきた人物だった)という不思議な直感が、ここに向かっていることを告げていた。はい、会社の社員の一人です。彼は立ち止まり、私が聞いたドアの開く音の中から入ってきた。私は今、正式に彼に会った。「一人ですか、ソアレスさん」と言われたので、「はい、しばらくここにいました... ... 」と答えると、ジャケットを取り出しながら、もう一つのものに目を留めた，「こんなところに一人でいるのはつまらないですよ、ソアレスさん... ... 」

「はい、つまらないです」彼はもう古いジャケットを着ていた，彼のデスクに歩み寄り、「きっと居眠りしたくなるだろうな」「ええ、本当に居眠りしようとしているんです」と言った。私は同意し、微笑んだ，そして忘れかけていた筆に手を伸ばし、書き写しているうちに私の正常な生活の中の得体の知れない安らぎに戻った。

1993年3月29日

标题: 有人来了
作者: 费尔南多·佩索阿
字数: 856
简介: 我不知道为什么——居然眼下才注意到这一点我个人呆在办公望红我已经模模糊糊感觉到这一点。在我意识的某个部分，有一种放松下来的深度感觉，一种肺部

Take your time

好友从贵州考察回来，印象最深刻的，竟然是这一幕：他看见数十农人耕种，另外有数十农人蹲在田埂上看这数十人耕种，从日出，到日落，日复一日。学者受不了了──难道一批人工作，需要另一批人监督？他跑到田边去问那蹲着的人：“你们为什么看他们耕作？”

蹲着的人仍旧蹲着，抽着烟，眼睛仍旧蒙蒙地看着田里，用浓重的乡音说，“就是看呀。”

“为什么看呢？”

“没事干啊！”

学者明白了。一亩地，那几个人也就够了，其他的人真的没活可干，就到那田埂上，蹲着，可能潜意识里也是一种“同舟共济”的表达吧。

蹲着的人们这回转过头来，奇怪地看着他，然后问他为何发此问。

香港来的学者倒愣住了。他要怎么回答呢？说，因为蹲在田埂上什么也不做，是一种浪费？说，“没事干”是是是──是件不可想像的事，因为在香港或台湾或新加坡或美国，每个人一辈子都在努力干事，“没事干”是件……是件可怕的事。

他要怎么说呢？

于是我想起另一个故事，地点是非洲。一个为红十字工作的欧洲人到了非洲某国，每天起床还是维持他的运动习惯：慢跑。

他一面跑，一面发现，一个当地人跑过来，跟着他跑，十分关切地问他；“出了什么事？”

欧洲人边喘息边说，“没出事。”

非洲人万分惊讶地说，“没出事？没出事为什么要跑？

这个欧洲人愣住了。他要怎么解释？因为他总是坐在开着冷气或暖气的办公室里头一个开着的电脑前面，他的皮肤很少被阳光照到，他的手很嫩、肩膀很僵硬、腰很酸，因为没有身体的劳动，因此他必须依靠“跑步”来强制他的肌肉运动？他是不是要进一步解释，欧洲人和非洲人，因为都市化的程度不同，所以生活形态不同，所以“跑步”这个东西，呃……不是因为“出了事”。

好友在说贵州人蹲一整天没事干，就是抽着烟望向漠漠的田地时，我发现自己的灵魂悠然走神，竟然叹息起来，说，“就是蹲在田埂上看田，唉，真好。”

我知道，我在向往一个境界。

慢的境界。

和华飞走东南亚十五天，出发前就做好了心理调适：慢。

当你到了码头，没有一个办公室贴着时刻表，也没有一个人可以用权威的声音告诉你几点可以到达终点，你就上船，然后就找一条看起来最舒服的板凳坐下来，带着从此在此一生一世的心情。你发现你根本不去想何时抵达，连念头都没有。你看那流动的河，静默却显然又隐藏着巨大的爆发力，你看那沙滩上晒太阳的灰色的水牛，你看孩子们从山坡上奔下来，你看阳光在芦苇白头上刷出一丝一丝的金线，你看一个漩涡的条纹，一条一条地数……

从琅勃拉邦到吴哥窟的飞机，突然说延误三个小时，人们连动都不动一下。因为预期就是这样，于是你闲适地把机场商店从头到尾看一遍，把每一个金属大象，每一盒香料，每一串项链，每一条丝巾，都拿到手上，看它、触它、嗅它、感觉它。反正就是这样，时间怎么流都可以。任何一个时刻，任何一个地方，都是安身立命的好时刻，好地方。

晚明的散文大家张岱，“极爱繁华，好精舍，好美婢，好娈童，好鲜衣，好美食，好骏马，好华灯，好烟火，好梨园，好鼓吹，好古董，好花鸟，兼以茶淫橘虐，书蠹诗魔”。能这样过日子，是因为他把杭州当安身立命之处。明朝覆亡，他脚下的土，也被抽走了。“年至五十，国破家亡，避迹山居。所存者，破床碎几，折鼎病琴，与残书数帙，缺砚一方而已。布衣疏莨，常至断炊。回首二十年前，真如隔世。”

我想有一个家，家前有土，土上可种植丝瓜，丝瓜沿竿而爬，迎光开出巨朵黄花，花谢结果，垒累棚上。我就坐在那土地上，看丝瓜身上一粒粒突起的青色疙瘩。

When his friend returned from a trip to Guizhou, he was most impressed by this scene: he saw dozens of farmers farming, and dozens of other farmers squatting on the ridges of their fields to watch the dozens of people farming, day after day, from sunrise to sunset. Scholars can't take it anymore. Do one group of people work and need another group to supervise? He ran to the edge of the field and asked the squatters, "why do you see them plowing?" The squatters were still squatting, smoking, still looking at the field with Bleary Eyes, and saying in a strong local accent, "just watching."

< p > "why?"

< p > "nothing to do!"

< P > scholars understand. One Mu of land, that a few people are enough, other people really have no work to do, on the ridge, squatting, may also be a subconscious "together" expression of it. The squatters turned round this time, looked at him strangely, and then asked him why. The scholar from Hong Kong was dumbfounded. What's he gonna say? Because squatting on the ridge and doing nothing is a waste? "nothing to do" is, is, is, is, is unthinkable, because in Hong Kong or Taiwan or Singapore or the United States, everyone has worked hard all his life, "nothing to do" is... is a terrible thing. What's he gonna say? And then I remembered another story, and it was in Africa. A European working for the Red Cross went to a country in Africa and got up every day to maintain his exercise habit: jogging. As he ran, he found a local man running after him, asking him with great concern, "What's the matter?" The European gasped, "nothing happened," said the African in great surprise, "nothing happened? Why Run if Nothing's wrong? The European was stupefied. How's he gonna explain that? Because he sits in front of an open computer in an air-conditioned or heated office, his skin is rarely exposed to sunlight, his hands are tender, his shoulders are stiff and his back is sore because he has no physical labor, so he has to rely on "running" to force his muscles to move? Is he going to go further and explain that Europeans and Africans, have different lifestyles because of different levels of urbanization, so this thing called running, well... It's not because something went wrong. When my friend said that people in Guizhou had nothing to do all day, that is, smoking cigarettes and looking at the fields in the desert, I found my soul wandering, even sighing, and said, "just squatting on the ridge to see the fields, alas, really good." I know, I am longing for a realm. The slow state.

< P > and China flew to Southeast Asia for 15 days, before the departure had done psychological adjustment: slow. When you get to the dock, without an office to stick to the schedule or an authoritative voice telling you what time it is to get to the finish line, you get on the boat and sit down on the most comfortable looking bench in the But Always. You find yourself not thinking about when you're going to arrive, not even thinking about it. You look at the Flowing River, silent but clearly hiding great power, you look at the Gray Buffalo Sunning on the beach, you look at the children running down the hillside, you look at the golden thread of the sun brushing the white head of the reeds, you look at the stripes of a whirlpool, counting them one by one... the plane from Luang Prabang to Angkor Wat suddenly said that the delay was three hours, and people did not move a muscle. Because that's the expectation, so you casually go through the airport store, looking at it from top to bottom, taking every metal elephant, every box of spices, every necklace, every scarf, looking at it, touching it, smelling it, feeling it. Well, that's the way it is. Time can flow all you want. Any time, any place, is a good time to settle down, a good place. Zhang Dai, the prose master of the late Ming dynasty, "loved prosperity, fine houses, fine maidservants, good catamites, good fresh clothes, good food, good horses, good lamps, good fireworks, good pear gardens, good preaching, good antiques, good flowers and birds, and the evil spirits of books and poetry". Can live like this, is because he regards Hangzhou as a place to settle down and make a living. With the fall of the Ming dynasty, the earth beneath his feet was drained away. "from the age of fifty, the country was destroyed and the people fled to the mountains. The survivors, broken bed broken a few, folding tripod disease Qin, and residual number of books, a lack of inkstone party only. Cloth clothing and ungodly food are often broken. Looking back 20 years ago, it was like a lifetime ago." I want to have a home, home before the soil, soil can grow loofah, loofah along the pole and climb, the light opened huge yellow flowers, flowers, fruit, piled shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed sheds. I was sitting on the ground, Loofah body to see a piece of the Blue Bumps.

标题: 慢看
作者: 龙应台
字数: 1389
简介: 好友从贵州考察回来，印象最深刻的，竟然是这一幕：他看见数十农人耕种，另外有数十农人蹲在田埂上看这数十人耕种，从日出，到日落，日复一日。学者受

A restaurant in the desert

我的先生很可惜是一个外国人。这样来称呼自己的先生不免有排外的味道，但是因为语文和风俗在各国之间确有大不相同之处，我们的婚姻生活也实在有许多无法共通的地方。

当初决定下嫁给荷西时，我明白地告诉他，我们不但国籍不相同，个性也不相同，将来婚后可能会吵架甚至于打架。他回答我：“我知道你性情不好，心地却是很好的，吵架打架都可能发生，不过我们还是要结婚。”于是我们认识了七年之后终于结婚了。

我不是妇女解放运动的支持者，但是我极不愿在婚后失去独立的人格和内心的自由自在化，所以我一再强调，婚后我还是‘我行我素’，要不然不结婚。荷西当时对我说：“我就是要你‘你行你素’，失去了你的个性和作风，我何必娶你呢！”好，大丈夫的论调，我十分安慰。做荷西的太太，语文将就他。可怜的外国人，“人”和“入”这两个字教了他那么多遍，他还是分不清，我只有讲他的话，这件事总算放他一马了。但是将来的孩子来了，打死也要学中文，这点他相当赞成。

闲话不说，做家庭主妇，第一便是下厨房。我一向对做家事十分痛恨，但对煮菜却是十分有兴趣，几只洋葱，几片肉，一炒变出一个菜，我很欣赏这种艺术。

母亲在台湾，知道我婚后因为荷西工作的关系，要到大荒漠地区的非洲去，十二分的心痛，但是因为钱是荷西赚的，我只有跟了饭票走，毫无选择的余地。婚后开厨不久，我们吃的全部是西菜。后来家中航空包裹飞来接济，我收到大批粉丝、紫菜、冬菇、生力面、猪肉干等珍贵食品，我乐得不释手，加上欧洲女友寄来罐头酱油，我的家庭“中国饭店”马上开张，可惜食客只有一个不付钱的。后来上门来要吃的朋友可是排长龙啊！

其实母亲寄来的东西，要开“中国饭店”实在是不够，好在荷西没有去过台湾，他看看我这个“大厨”神气活现，对我也生起信心来了。

第一道菜是“粉丝煮鸡汤”。荷西下班回来总是大叫“快开饭啊，要饿死啦！”白白被他爱了那么多年，回来只知道开饭，对太太却是正眼也不瞧一下，我这“黄脸婆”倒是做得放心。话说第一道菜是粉丝煮鸡汤，他喝了一口问我：“咦，什么东西？中国细面吗？”

“你岳母万里迢迢来替你寄细面来？不是的。”

“是什么嘛？再给一点，很好吃。”我用筷子挑起一根粉丝：“这个啊，叫做‘雨’。”

“雨？”他一呆。

我说过，我是婚姻自由自在化，说话自然心血来潮随我高兴。

“这个啊，是春天下的第一场雨，下在高山上，被一根一根冻住了，山胞扎好了背到山下来一束一束卖了换米酒喝，不容易买到哦！”

荷西还是呆呆地、研究性地看看我，又去看看盆内的“雨”，然后说：“你当我白痴？”

我不置可否。“你还要不要？”

“吹牛大王，我还要。”

以后他常吃“春雨”，到现在不知道是什么东西做的。有时想想荷西很笨，所以心里有点悲伤。

第二次吃粉丝是做“蚂蚁上树”，将粉丝在平底锅内一炸，再撒上绞肉和汁。荷西下班回来一向是饿的，咬了一大口粉丝：“什么东西？好像是白色的毛线，又好像是塑胶的？”

“都不是，是你钓鱼的那种尼龙线，中国人加工变成白白软软的了。”我回答他。

他又吃了一口，莞尔一笑，口里说着：“怪名堂真多，如果我们真开饭店，这个菜可卖个好价钱，乖乖！”那天他吃了好多尼龙加工白线。第三次吃粉丝，是夹在东北人的“合子饼”内与菠菜和肉绞得很碎当饼馅。他说：“这个小饼里面你撒了鲨鱼的翅膀对不对？我听说这东西很贵，难怪你只放了一点点。”我笑得得躺在地上。“以后这只很贵的鱼翅膀，请妈妈不要买了，我要去信谢谢妈妈。”我大乐，回答他：“快去写，我来译信，哈哈！”

有一天他快下班了，我趁他忘了看猪肉干，赶快将藏好的猪肉干剪成小小的方块，放在瓶子里，然后藏在毯子里面。恰好那天他鼻子不通，睡觉时要用毛毯，我一时忘了我的宝贝，自在一旁看那第一千遍《水浒传》。他躺在床上，手里拿个瓶子，左看右看，我一抬头，哗，不得了，“所罗门王宝藏”被他发现了，赶快去抢，口里叫着：“这不是你吃的，是药，是中药。”

“我鼻子不通，正好吃中药。”他早塞了一大把放在口中，我气极了，又不能叫他吐出来，只好不响了。

“怪甜的，是什么？”

我没好气地回答他：“喉片，给咳嗽的人顺喉头的。”

“肉做的喉片？我是白痴啊？”第二天醒来，发觉他偷了大半瓶去送给同事们吃，从那天起，只要是他同事，看见我都假装咳嗽，想再骗猪肉干吃。

反正夫妇生活总是在吃饭，其他时间便是去忙着赚吃饭的钱，实在没多大意思。有天我做了饭卷，就是日本人的“寿司”，用紫菜包饭，里面放些唯他肉松。荷西这一下拒吃了。“什么？你居然给我吃印蓝纸、复写纸？”

我慢慢问他：“你真不吃？”

“不吃，不吃。”

好，我大乐，吃了一大堆饭卷。

“张开口给我看！”他命令我。

“你看，没有蓝色，我是用反面复写纸卷的，不会染到口里去。”反正平日说的是唬人的话，所以常常胡说八道。

“你是吹牛大王，虚虚实实，我真恨你，从实招来，是什么吗？”

“你对中国完全不认识，我对我的先生相当失望。”我回答他，又吃了一个饭卷。他生气了，用筷子一夹夹了一个，面部大有壮士一去不复返的悲壮表情，咬了半天，吞下去。“是了，是海苔。”

我跳起来，大叫：“对了，对了，真聪明。”又要跳，头上吃了他一记老大爆栗。

中国东西快吃完了，我的“中国饭店”也舍不得出菜了，西菜又开始上桌。荷西下班来，看见我居然在做牛排，很意外，又高兴，大叫：“要半生的。马铃薯也炸了吗？”连给他吃了三天牛排，他却好似没有胃口，切一块就不吃了。

“是不是工作太累了？要不要去睡一下再起来吃？”，“黄脸婆”有时也尚温柔。

“不是生病，是吃得不好。”

我一听唬一下跳起来。“吃得不好？吃得不好？你知道牛排多少钱一斤？”

“不是的，太太，想吃‘雨’，还是岳母寄来的菜好。”

“好啦，中国饭店一星期开张两次，如何？你要多久下一次‘雨’？”

有一天荷西回来对我说：“了不得，今天大老板叫我去。”

“加你薪水？”我眼睛一亮。

“不是——”

我一把抓住他，指甲掐到他肉里去。“不是？完了，你给开除了？天啊，我们——”

“别抓我嘛，神经兮兮的，你听我讲，大老板说，我们公司谁都被请过到我家吃饭，就是他们夫妇不请，他在等你请他吃中国菜——”

“大老板要我做菜?不干不干，不请他，你同事工友我都乐意，请上司吃饭未免太没骨气，我这个人啊，还谈些气节，你知道，我——”我正要大大宣扬中国人的所谓骨气，又讲不明白，再一接触到荷西的面部表情，这个骨气只好哽在喉咙里啦！

第二日他问我：“喂，我们有没有笋？”

“家里筷子那么多，不都是笋吗？”

他白了我一眼。“大老板说要吃笋片炒冬菇。”

乖乖，真是见过世面的老板，不要小看外国人。“好，明天晚上请他们夫妇来吃饭，没问题，笋会长出来的。”荷西含情脉脉地望了我一眼，婚后他第一次如情人一样望着我，使我受宠若惊，不巧那天辫子飞散，状如女鬼。

第二天晚上，我先做好三道菜，用文火热着，布置了蜡炬台的桌子，桌上铺了白色的桌布，又加一块红的铺成斜角，十分美丽。这一顿饭吃得宾主尽欢，不但菜是色香味俱全，我这个太太也打扮得十分干净，居然还穿了长裙子。饭后老板夫妇上车时特别对我说：“如果公共关系室将来有缺，希望你也来参加工作，做公司的一分子。”我眼睛一亮，这全是“笋片炒冬菇”的功劳。

送走老板，夜已深了，我赶快脱下长裙，换上破牛仔裤，头发用橡皮筋一绑，大力洗碗洗盘，重做灰姑娘状使我身心自由。荷西十分满意，在背后问：“喂，这个‘笋片炒冬菇’真好吃，你哪里弄来的笋？”

我一面洗碗，一面问他：“什么笋？”

“今天晚上做的笋片啊！”

我哈哈大笑：“哦，你是说小黄瓜炒冬菇吗？”

“什么，你，你，你骗了我不算，还敢去骗我老板——”

“我没骗他，这是他一生吃到最好的一次‘嫩笋片炒冬菇’，他自己说的。”

荷西将我一把抱起来，肥皂水洒了他一头一胡子，口里大叫：“万岁，万岁，你是那只猴子，那只七十二变的，叫什么，什么……”

我拍了一下他的头：“齐天大圣孙悟空，这次不要忘了。”

My husband is unfortunately a foreigner. It's xenophobic to call one's husband that way, but because languages and customs are so different from one country to another, there's a lot about our marriage that we can't all agree on. When I decided to marry Jorge, I told him plainly that we not only had different nationalities and personalities, but that we might quarrel and even fight in the future. He replied, "I know you have a bad temper, but you have a good heart. Fights can happen, but we are going to get married." So we finally got married after seven years of knowing each other. I am not a supporter of the women's liberation movement, but I am extremely reluctant to lose my independent personality and inner freedom after marriage, so I have stressed again and again that after marriage I will go my own way, or We don't get married. Jorge said to me at the time: "I Just Want You to ‘Go Your Own Way', lost your personality and style, why should I Marry You!" Well, the tone of a man, I am very comforting. As Jose's wife, the language will accommodate him. Poor Foreigner. After all the times he was taught the words "man" and "Enter", he still couldn't tell the difference. I had to say what he said, so I let him off the hook. But when the children of the future come, they will learn Chinese to death, which he quite agreed with. Gossip aside, the first thing about being a housewife is the kitchen. I have always hated doing housework, but I am very interested in cooking, a few onions, a few pieces of meat, a stir-fry into a dish, I appreciate this art. My mother was in Taiwan, and it was very painful to know that after my marriage, because of Jose's work, I was going to Africa in the great desert, but because Jose earned the money, I had to go with the meal ticket, there's no other choice. Not long after we were married, all we ate was western food. Later, I received a large number of fans, seaweed, mushrooms, fresh noodles, pork jerky, and other precious food. I couldn't put it down, and my European girlfriend sent me canned soy sauce, my family's "China restaurant" will open soon, but only one of the diners will not pay. The friend that comes to want to eat later is the queue is long! In fact, it was not enough to open a "Chinese restaurant" from my mother. Fortunately, Jose had never been to Taiwan. He looked at me, a "chef" Mannequin, and began to have confidence in me. The first course was "chicken soup with vermicelli". Jose always comes home from work shouting, "Let's eat, let's starve to death!" After all those years of being loved by him, he just comes back to eat, but he doesn't even look at his wife, i don't have to worry about that. The first dish is chicken soup with vermicelli, he took a drink and asked me, "Well, what is it? "did your mother-in-law come all the way here to send you some fine noodles?"? No."" What is that? Give me some more, it's delicious," I said, picking up a fan with my chopsticks. "Oh, it's called ‘rain.'". As I said, I am free in my marriage, and I speak as I please. "this, Ah, is the first rain in spring. It is raining on the mountain, and it is freezing by the roots. The mountain cells are tied up and carried down the mountain. They are sold in bunches for rice wine, which is not easy to buy." Jorge still looked at me blankly and studied, then I looked at the rain in the basin and said, "do you think I'm an idiot?". "Do you still want it?""I still want it, Blowhard." After that, he used to eat "Spring Rain" and now he doesn't know what it was made of. Sometimes I think Jose is stupid, so I feel a little sad. The second time was to "ants on a tree," deep-fry the noodles in a pan and sprinkle with ground meat and sauce. Jorge always comes home from work hungry, he took a big bite out of his fan and said, "what is that? It looks like white wool, or it looks like plastic?""No, it's the kind of nylon you're fishing for, and the Chinese have turned it white and soft," I replied. He took another bite, smiled, and said, "what a lot of strange things. If we did open a restaurant, it would fetch a good price." He ate a lot of white nylon thread that day. The third time to eat Vermicelli, is sandwiched in the northeast people's "children cake" with spinach and meat ground very broken when the pie filling. He said, "you put shark's wings in this cookie, didn't you? I heard it was expensive. No wonder you only put a little bit in it." I laughed and lay on the floor. "from now on, please don't buy this expensive shark's fin, I'll write to thank Mom." I answered him, "write it, I'll translate it. Ha Ha!" One day he was about to leave work, before he could see the jerky, I cut it into little squares, put it in a bottle, and hide it under a blanket. Just that day his nose does not pass, sleep with a blanket, I forgot my baby for a while, free to watch the 1000th time the water margin. He was lying on the bed with a bottle in his hand, looking around, I looked up, Oh, my God, he found the King Solomon's Mines, go grab it, "It's not what you eat, it's medicine, it's Chinese medicine," he cried. "I have a stuffy nose, so I'll take Chinese Medicine." He stuffed a handful of it into his mouth, and I was so angry that I couldn't ask him to spit it out, it's gonna have to stop ringing. "what's So Sweet?" I replied gruffly. "throat lozenges, for people who cough.""meat lozenges? Am I an idiot?" I woke up the next day, caught him stealing half a bottle to send colleagues to eat, from that day on, if any of his colleagues saw me, pretend to cough, want to cheat pork jerky to eat. Anyway, the couple is always eating, the rest of the time is busy earning money to eat, it is not much fun. One day I made a rice roll, the Japanese "sushi", with laver bread rice, which put some meat floss. Jorge just refused to eat. "what? You gave me blue paper and carbon paper?" I asked him slowly. "are you sure you won't eat it?""No, no." Okay, I ate a lot of rice rolls. "open your mouth and show me!" He ordered me. "you see, there is no blue, I use reverse carbon paper roll, will not dye into the mouth." Anyway, usually said is bluffing, so often nonsense. "you are a charlatan, a liar and a liar, and I hate you. Tell me the truth. What is it?""you don't know anything about China, and I'm very disappointed in my husband," I replied, i ate another rice roll. He was angry, a folder with chopsticks, the face of a strong never-to-return solemn expression, bite for a long time, swallowed. "Yes, it's Nori." I jumped up and shouted, "yes, yes, very clever." Then I jumped again, and got a big pop in the head from him. The Chinese food was running out, my "Chinese restaurant" couldn't bear to serve it, and the western food began to arrive. When Jose came home from work, he was surprised to see me cooking a steak. He was so happy that he shouted, "make it rare. Did you fry the potatoes too?" He didn't seem to have an appetite, so he cut off a piece and didn't eat it. "are you too tired from work? Do you want to get some sleep before you eat?" The "old woman" is sometimes gentle. "It's not illness, it's bad eating." I jumped at the sound of it. "not eating well? Not eating well? Do you know how much a kilo of steak costs?""No, madam, I'd rather have ‘rain'or something from my mother-in-law.""well, how about the Chinese restaurant, which opens twice a week? How often do you have to rain?" Jorge came back to me one day and said, "Well, the Big Boss asked me to come today.""more money?" My eyes lit up. "No --" I grabbed him, and my nails went into his flesh. "No? That's it. You're fired? Oh, my God, we're --""don't Scratch Me, You Psycho, listen to me, the Big Boss said, everyone in our company has been invited to my house for dinner, except the couple, who's waiting for you to invite him for Chinese food --""the Big Boss wants me to cook? Don't do it, don't invite him, I'm happy to invite your colleagues and workers, it's a bit spineless to invite your boss for dinner, I, ah, still talk about integrity, you know, i -- "I'm going to promote the so-called backbone of the Chinese people, i couldn't explain it, and when I saw Jose's face again, I felt a lump in my throat! The next day he asked me, "Hey, do we have any bamboo shoots?""aren't there so many bamboo shoots in the house?" He glared at me. "Big Boss said to eat bamboo shoots stir-fried mushrooms."

< P > Good, really have seen the world of the boss, do not look down on foreigners. "OK, invite them to dinner tomorrow evening, no problem, bamboo shoots will grow out." Jorge looked at me lovingly, and for the first time since marriage he looked at me like a lover, and I was flattered, unfortunately, that day the braid flying, like a female ghost. The next night I cooked three dishes, warmed them gently, and set the table on the candle-holder, which was beautifully covered with a white tablecloth and beveled with a red one. The meal was a feast for the guests and the host. Not only was the food delicious, but I, too, was dressed to the nines and even wore a long skirt. When the boss and his wife got in the car after dinner, they said to me in particular, "if there is a vacancy in the public relations office in the future, I hope you will come to work and be part of the company." My eyes lit up, this is all thanks to "bamboo shoots fried with mushrooms". To send off the boss, it was late at night, so I quickly took off my long skirt, put on my torn jeans, tied my hair with a rubber band, washed the dishes vigorously, and redid my Cinderella routine to set my body and mind free. Jose was very satisfied and asked behind his back, "Hey, this ‘bamboo shoots fried with mushrooms'is delicious, where did you get bamboo shoots?" "what bamboo shoots?" I laughed. "Oh, you mean the cucumber fried with mushrooms?""what, you, you, you lied to me, and you lied to my boss?""I didn't lie to him. It was the best ‘bamboo shoots fried with mushrooms'he had ever eaten in his life, he said." The soapy water fell on his head and beard, "Hooray, Hooray, you're the monkey, the septuagenarian, what's his name, what's his name..." I slapped him on the head: "The Monkey King: Quest for the Sutra, don't forget this time." 标题: 沙漠中的饭店
作者: 三毛
字数: 3158
简介: 我的先生很可惜是一个外国人。这样来称呼自己的先生不免有排外的味道，但是因为语文和风俗在各国之间确有大不相同之处，我们的婚姻生活也实在有许多无