冷笑话精选：
周杰伦[嘻嘻]@晴天大帅逼林俊杰
[Jay Chou (hee hee) @ sunny guard force jj Lin]
毒舌嘴贱会吐槽，颜正腿长一米八，八块腹肌的冷哥就是我！
小野妹子学吐槽：
社会路太滑，职场套路深，又想马儿往前跑又想马儿不吃草的老板满大街比比皆是！看了欧乐B这个#舒敏B计划#片子，我宣布社畜们可以进来哭了！tAiHQwSbE可哭完还要干点什么，学女主入抗敏泡泡牙膏，一次起效！排掉职场一切污浊，见招拆招！tAiHHXpo
[Social road was too slippery, workplace routines deep, think the horse ran forward and dont think the horse eat grass, the boss of streets everywhere! Saw the music B this # # tramal plan B, I announced that the club livestock can come in crying! TAiHQwSbE but crying over to do something, learn to tying into the anti-allergic bubble of toothpaste, a work! Drainage of all dirty workplace, see! The following instead tAiHHXpo]
图文多转自日文推特，附以无责任吐槽。关注后易节操丧失、下限消亡、性向逆转、生理失调。
但斌：
最后一日
作者：戈麦
我把心灵打开
我把幸福留下
我把信仰升至空中
我把空旷当做关怀
屋宇宽敞洁净
穹寰熠熠生辉
劳作的人安于田上
行旅的人四处奔忙
我把黑夜托付给黑夜
我把黎明托付给黎明
让不应占有的不再占有
让应当归还的尽早归还
眷恋于我的
还能再看一看
看这房屋空无一物
看这温暖空无一...全文： m.weibo
[Last day < br > the author launched < br > < br > I open the mind < br > I leave happiness < br > < br > I put my faith to the air I put the empty as care < br > < br > house clean spacious < br > < br > work of gleaming dome atlas content with field < br > travelled in hustling < br > < br > I confided night to night < br > < br > I confided dawn to dawn let should not possess no longer holds the < br > let shall be returned to return as soon as possible < br > < br > sentimentally attached to me < br > still can take a look < br > to see the house empty < br > to see the warm empty... The full text m. eibo]
一个普通、真诚、热爱生活的人
新浪新闻客户端：
【#滴滴代喝杯块#[疑问] 男子穿滴滴代喝T恤醉倒路边】月日，浙江台州民警接到报警称，一醉汉躺在路边怎么叫也叫不醒。民警发现该男子穿着“滴滴代喝”的衣服，上面写着“一杯块，一瓶”。酒醒后，男子称他穿“滴滴代喝”衣服的行为是从网上学来的，感觉穿上后，自己也会很能喝。...全文： m.weibo
[【 # # drops generation for a cup of block [question] man drops generation drink a tee shirt drunk roadside 】 month day, zhejiang taizhou police received a report to the police, according to a drunken man lying on the side of the road how to call also called dont wake up. Police found the man dressed in drops to drink, it reads glass block, bottle. Wine woke up, the man said that he drops to drink clothes behavior from online learning, feeling after wear, oneself also very can drink. cars only The full text m. eibo]
只想做一只人见人爱的客户端
小浪同学爱吐槽：
【沈阳#人行道最窄处仅半米# 人侧身才能过[衰]】月日，沈阳浑南区长安桥南街，有一处引桥人行道十分狭窄，最窄处一人走需侧身过，非机动车只能绕道走，该处人行道的盲道也被护栏的底座占据。浑南民生诉求服务热线表示，会联系工作人员处理。@一手Video tAiHQLHg
[【 the narrowest point # walkway in shenyang only half a meter # people sideways to [failure]] month day, shenyang muddy south area, changan bridge south street, an approach of the pavement is very narrow, the narrowest place one person go to sideways, non-motor vehicles can only make a detour, there the pavement of the blind road is also the base of the fence. Muddy south demands of the peoples livelihood service hotline, said will contact staff processing. @ Video tAiHQLHg]
国事家事天下事，事事关心。
但斌：
@任仁雄厉害了
[@ Ren Renxiong]
一个普通、真诚、热爱生活的人
南方都市报：
【中国#大妈疑在菲律宾沙滩埋尿不湿# 抱小孩海里洗屁股】月日，菲律宾网友曝光一段视频：长滩岛上一名女子用海水给小孩洗屁股，不远处另一名女子将疑似尿片的物品埋进沙滩。视频拍摄者称，女子让小孩在海水中小便，拍摄者还表示，视频中的人是中国游客。当局临时关闭海滩小时，进行清理并检测水质...全文： m.weibo
[The beach in the Philippines [China # Boyle suspected buried diapers # baby wash sea bottom 】 June , the Philippine netizen exposure a video a woman with seawater to long beach island children wash ass, not far from another woman will be suspected of diapers objects buried in the sand beach. Video photographer, said the woman let children to urinate in seawater, the photographer also said that its Chinese tourists in a video. Authorities closed temporarily hours beach, clean up and water quality testing... The full text m. eibo]
欢迎关注南方都市报官方微博
MIUI：
从 MIUI V 到 MIUI 的图标中，你最喜欢的是_______？[思考]
[From the beautiful MIUI V to the beautiful MIUI icon,... is your favorite? [thinking]]
MIUI米柚，AI加持的全面屏系统。
卢健生：
华仔英语口语不错的，苦练过的，不是are you okay那种水平。
[Andy, practice spoken English good, is not you okay that kind of level.]
Z CAM 首席执行官
新浪新闻客户端：
【这才是中国青年的样子！#中国留学生包围港独游行齐唱国歌#】日，墨尔本州立图书馆前，部分“港独”集会于此，墨尔本中国留学生及华人移民自发来到集会地点挂起国旗，声援祖国，将他们团团包围。当晚下起小雨，为避免国旗被淋湿，#爱国者雨中为国旗撑伞#。哪里都有中国护旗手，好样的！...全文： m.weibo
[[this is the Chinese youth! # Chinese students sing the national anthem surrounded by Hong Kong alone the parade # 】, Melbourne before the state library, part of the Hong Kong alone rally, Melbourne, Chinese students and Chinese immigrants spontaneously came to the meeting places to hang flags, support for the motherland, and surround them. That night the rain, in order to avoid the flag was wet, # # patriots for flag carries an umbrella in the rain. Where there is firmly established in China, well done! cars only The full text m. eibo]
只想做一只人见人爱的客户端
小浪同学爱吐槽：
【浙江#失联消防员吕挺牺牲#[泪] 队友哭着敬礼[蜡烛][蜡烛]】日，浙江湖州安吉消防中队长吕挺被救援人员找到，已英勇牺牲。日晚，一对父子乘皮划艇在长潭附近水域划行时遇险，安吉消防中队长吕挺带领消防员将孩子救出。营救大人时因水流湍急，吕挺和落水大人被河水冲走。转发，送送他！英雄走好！...全文： m.weibo
[【 zhejiang Lv Ting sacrifice # # lost firefighters [tears] teammates cried and salute [candle] [candle]], zhejiang huzhou anji fire mid-team leader Lv Ting was found by rescue workers, has died heroically. Friday night, a father and son take a canoe distress when long pool nearby waters, anji fire mid-team leader Lv Ting led firefighters rescued the child. Rescue adults with the fast-flowing, Lv Ting and adult drowning was the river washed away. Forward, giving him! Heroes walk good! cars only The full text m. eibo]
国事家事天下事，事事关心。
维维任意门：
「火人节Burning Man VLOG 」
拜访火人节的其他中国营地
来自中国的艺术装置超级酷！
在沙漠里偶遇一场婚礼
去变装营地和小哥哥们合照
他们很温柔也很友好
在火人节 你可以卸下防备和伪装做自己
没有人会带有色眼镜看待你
这就是我热爱这个节日的原因
Peace❤
#维维任意门[超话]##VLOG[超话]#...全文： m.weibo
[Burning Manm Man VLOG < br > to visit other Chinese Burning Man camp < br > from China art installation super cool! < br > < br > encounter in the desert a wedding to drag the camp and small brothers photo < br > they are very gentle and friendly < br > in the burning man you can make yourself off guard against and camouflage < br > no one will take colored glasses look at you < br > this is the reason why I love this festival < br > Peace ❤ < br > # d d arbitrary door [ultra words] # # VLOG [ultra words] #... The full text m. eibo]
以吃喝玩乐为生的仙女✨ 商务联络微信：XYF
猫扑：
看手工达人从零开始建一座迷你小房子[跪了][跪了][跪了]，从倒水泥到砌砖墙，铺木地板...每一步都是细节满满！引起了强烈舒适啊！tAiHlmQ
[See manual talent built from scratch from a mini house] [kneeling] [kneeling] [kneeling, from pouring cement to the brick wall, spread wooden floor... Every step is full details! Caused a strong comfortable ah! tAiHlmQ]
猫扑网唯一指定官方微博。私信开放投稿、爆料。 商务合作请联系微信：mopxmt
天猫：
#天猫有大事#昨日在北京今日美术馆，天猫新文创生态大会暨首届“文化新生”特展正式开启，文旅部宋奇慧副司长、北京宣传部赵磊副部长等位领导到场见证#天猫新文创#携手全球顶级博物馆正式启动.计划，联合家媒体、个明星、文化届名人和意见领袖共同发声，推出文创七星矩阵，助力文化出圈！
[# # Tmall have event yesterday in Beijing today art museum, Tmall xinwen and ecological congress and the first cultural new show officially open, the text brigade headquarters Song Qihui deputy director, Beijing vice minister propaganda department -year-old allelic leadership to be present to witness # Tmall xinwen gen # officially launched the worlds top museum. Hand in hand, the joint media outlets, the star, the celebrity culture and opinion leaders, to launch a dipper matrix, boost cultural ones! ]
(σﾟ∀ﾟ)σ..*☆理想生活，上天猫！─=≡Σ(((つ•̀ω•́)つ超皮官V，撩本喵！
南方都市报：
【陈岚发条微博谈庭审，凤雅家人代理律师：她火力全开带节奏】月日，小凤雅家人诉陈岚名誉侵权案在上海庭审。双方均表示不接受调解，该案未当庭宣判。年月，眼癌女童凤雅病重时，家人在网上筹集近万元，拥有万粉丝的陈岚在网络上举报，质疑王家人骗捐。凤雅家人以侵犯名誉权为由，将陈岚...全文： m.weibo
[【 generosities donator clockwork weibo about trial, chicken and family lawyer her firing again with rhythm month day, v. generosities donator phoeny, family reputation infringement trial in Shanghai. Both sides said not to accept mediation, the case is not convicted in court. Phoenix, eye cancer girl when she was seriously ill, the family raised nearly $ten thousand online, with thousands of fans generosities donator to report on the Internet, questioned the member lie to donate. Citing infringement, feng ya family will generosities donator... The full text m. eibo]
欢迎关注南方都市报官方微博
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