A little bit longer

在我开始显示出一切剩女经典病症时，有人问，你到底想找个什么样的人啊？我说：我想找一个跟我一起长大的人。

这话当然没错，只是说这话的时候，我已经30了。

我想找一个对新鲜的知识、品格的改进、情感的扩张有胃口的人。我有这样的胃口，所以还想找到一个在疆域方面野心勃勃的人。

每当我一天什么也没干的时候，我就开始焦虑。每当我两天什么都没干的时候，我就开始烦躁。每当我三天什么都没干的时候，我就开始抓狂。不行啊，不行了，我三天什么都没干啊，我寝食难安，仿佛自己亲手杀了三个无辜的小孩。

当然吃饭睡觉买日用品不能算“干了点什么”“纯粹出于完成任务”心态，而做的工作也不能算“干了点什么”。干了点什么，应当真的是干了点什么。

马克思说，生产分为“简单再生产”和“扩大再生产”。那么生活，是不是也可以分为“简单再生活”和“扩大再生活”呢。吃饭睡觉买日用品，那都是为了维持生命的“简单再生活”，我向往的是“扩大再生活”。看一本好书，发掘一个好CD,看一个好电影，写一篇饱满的文章，进行一场会心的谈话，跟好朋友们吃一场欢声笑语的饭，这才是“扩大再生活”。

所以，我不羡慕那些特别有钱的人，吃饭吃到燕窝鱼翅，睡觉睡在五星宾馆，也就是个花哨版的“简单再生活”而已。我不羡慕，我忙着自己的那点光合作用呢。

但是，可悲的是，“简单再生活”总是挤掉你“扩大再生活”的时间精力。这个月我得组织一个会议，下个月我得完成一篇论文，下个月，我得提交某个基金申报报告……啊，那些我们“不得不”做的事，多么像一个包办婚姻中的又丑又坏的老头子，挡住一个少女向往私奔的心。还有些时候，我连“不得不”做的事情都不做了。我被它命令的姿态给气坏了。明明是一件最终仅仅通向简单再生活的事情，却如此嚣张，如此恶狠狠，如此与快乐为敌，于是我闭上眼睛捂上耳朵撂挑子了，一连几天，几个星期，几个月，我就真的，什么都没干了，作为一个无所作为的帝国，看着自己的疆域被蚕食。

最近好像就是这样。没怎么看书看电影，没怎么写东西，没怎么和朋友们谈心。我觉得自己，在一点一点枯萎下去，然后忍无可忍了，终于去看了一个话剧，故意选了一个主题沉重的剧，一战，苏联，英国，艺术，虚无，精神病院。

热泪盈眶地出了剧院，走在纽约盛夏闷热的大街上，我终于精神抖擞起来。脑子里拎了那么多沉甸甸的情绪、问题，好像去了一趟银行取款机。焉不拉叽的菠菜浸到冷水里，咕咚咕咚喝了一顿，重新神气活现地挺起来。

As I began to show all the classic symptoms of leftover women, someone asked, what kind of person are you looking for? I said, I want to find someone who grew up with me. Of course that's true, except I was 30 when I said it. I am looking for someone who has an appetite for fresh knowledge, character improvement, emotional expansion. I had such an appetite, so I wanted to find someone ambitious in terms of territory. Every time I don't do anything all day, I get anxious. Every time I don't do anything for two days, I get upset. Every time I don't do anything for three days, I start freaking out. I Can't. I Can't. I haven't done anything in three days, and I can't eat or sleep. It's like I killed three innocent kids. Of course, eating, sleeping, and buying groceries isn't "doing something,""just getting the job done," and work isn't "doing something.". Did something, should really do something. Marxism says production is divided into "simple reproduction" and "expanded reproduction". So Life, is it also can be divided into "simple regeneration" and "expanded regeneration" it. Eat, sleep and buy daily necessities, it is to maintain life "simple life", I yearn for is "expanded life". To read a good book, discover a good CD, watch a good movie, write a full article, have a heart-to-heart talk, and have a meal of laughter and laughter with good friends is to "expand the second life". So I don't envy the super-rich who eat bird's nest shark fin and sleep in five-star hotels, which is just a fancy version of "simply living again.". I don't Envy it. I'm too busy with my own little photosynthesis. But, sadly, the simple re-living will always crowd out the time and energy to expand your re-living. This month I have to organize a conference, next month I have to finish a paper, next month I have to submit a fund report... ah, the things we "have to" do, how like an old man in an arranged marriage, ugly and bad, blocking a girl longing for elopement heart. Other times, I don't even do what I have to do. I was annoyed by its commanding posture. So arrogant, so vicious, so hostile to happiness, that I closed my eyes, closed my ears, and hung up for days, weeks, months, i would literally, literally, do nothing, as an empire of inaction, watching my territory being eaten away. That seems to be the case these days. Not much reading, not much film, not much writing, not much talking to friends. I felt like I was, slowly, withering away, and then Intolerance, finally going to see a play, deliberately choosing a heavy theme, World War I, the Soviet Union, Britain, art, nothingness, mental hospitals. Tears filled my eyes as I emerged from the theater and walked down the sweltering streets of New York in the middle of summer. With so many weighty emotions and problems in my head, I feel as if I have gone to a bank ATM. The spinach dipped in cold water, gulped down, and straightened up Mannequin.

标题: 一天长一点
作者: 刘瑜
字数: 994
简介: 在我开始显示出一切剩女经典病症时，有人问，你到底想找个什么样的人啊？我说：我想找一个跟我一起长大的人。这话当然没错，只是说这话的时候，我已经