2018年6月4日星期一

Poison tongue mouth base teases, YanZheng meter of eight legs are long, cold brother eight pieces o

冷笑话精选:
    这是我想对你说的话...[doge]tRkJzw ​
[This is I want to say to you... [doge] tRkJzw]

毒舌嘴贱会吐槽,颜正腿长一米八,八块腹肌的冷哥就是我!

优酷:
    #上海女子图鉴# 既能陪打游戏,又能给换灯泡,这样的小狼狗张天皓@李程彬 想要的举手![憧憬]当然最重要的还是,海燕@演员王真儿 那句“身材不错啊”[笑而不语]tRuHXg ​
[# # Shanghai woman map can who game, but also to change the light bulb, the little German shepherd Zhang Tianhao @ Li Chengbin want to raise your hand! [hope] the most important still is, of course, haiyan @ king actor son that good shape tRuHXg [smiling without a word]

新浪汽车:
    #儿童出行安全# 孩子平安快乐长大,几乎是每位父母最大的心愿。但总有孩子在乘车过程中出现意外,而大多数意外的发生都是因为家长疏忽。@汽车洋葱圈 给各位有宝宝的家长总结了种错误的带孩子乘车行为,家长们一定要(敲)注(黑)意(板)了!tRkxEQ ​
[# # childrens travel safety and happy to grow up, almost every parents biggest wish. But there is always a child in a train accident appeared in the process of, and most of the happening of the accident because of careless parents. @ car of onion rings with babys parents are summarized for all kinds of wrong with children drive behavior, parents must (knock) note (black) means (board)! tRkxEQ]

最新鲜的汽车资讯;
最快速的新车报道;
最全面的车型数据;
最及时的车型报价;
最丰富的汽车活动。

但斌:
    回复@唐门阿迪儿是!@唐门阿迪儿但总,听说书的版税全部捐给慈善机构?
[Reply @ don door adi son is! @ don door adi son but, heard that book all royalties to charity?]

一个普通、真诚、热爱生活的人

当当李国庆:
    嫉妒是一种游荡的情欲
tRAHSi ​

[Envy is a wandering the lust of < br > tRAHSi]

我口无遮拦,多有得罪,请海涵

青年时报:
    【“你不是报警了吗?警察又没来抓我。”刚得瑟完就被杭州警方一网打尽!】彭师傅从河南来杭州打拼多年,最近他生活不易急需用钱。正好一条贷款广告发送到了彭师傅手机里,导致他被骗了元。彭师傅报警后,骗子表示一点都没在怕的:“你不是报警了吗?警察又没来抓我……”tRgDvg ​
[【 didnt you call the police? The police didnt come and catch me. just show off in an ostentatious manner is hangzhou police sweep!] Peng teacher from henan to hangzhou struggle for many years, his life is not easy to be badly in need of money recently. Just a loan AD sent to master peng phone, cause he was tricked into the meta. Master peng alarm, a liar said didnt afraid of dont you call the police? The police didnt come to catch me again... TRgDvg]

新闻热线: 工作沟通、广告合作请联系微信:Alex

微博汽车:
    【万劳斯莱斯怼上公交车 车主损失或近百万】月日,哈尔滨一辆劳斯莱斯与一辆公交车相撞,公交车车体受损,劳斯莱斯车右前车灯保险杠受损,车标也被撞坏。据悉,劳斯莱斯是车主购买的二手车,原价多万,车牌还没挂,初步损失约在-万。目前,肇事车辆已被交警大队滞留,事故原因、财产损失...全文: m.weibo ​
[[than Rolls-Royce Dui bus owners loss or millions 】 on June , Harbin a rolls Royce collided with a bus, the bus body is impaired, Rolls-Royce cars right front headlights bumper damage, logo have also been damaged. Rolls-Royce is purchasing a used car, a more than the original price, license plate havent hang, initial losses around - wan. At present, the vehicle has been traffic police brigade stranded, the cause of the accident, property damage... The full text m. eibo]

这个官微有意思,有车没车不重要,带你装逼带你飞

冷笑话精选:
    我觉得不左右翻别人的手机相册、不盯着别人修照片、不问别人微博的ID,可以统称现代三大礼仪了吧。 ​
[I dont think about turning someone elses cell phone photo album, dont stare at other people take photos, dont ask others weibo ID, can be referred to the modern three manners. ​]

毒舌嘴贱会吐槽,颜正腿长一米八,八块腹肌的冷哥就是我!

青年时报:
    【深夜宾馆内一对男女发生纠纷,女方三个“姐姐”拎着棍子来帮忙……】有人曾说过,千万不要把女人惹毛了,不然后果很严重。看到这里,很多男生表示不服气。但是最近,还真发生了这样一件奇葩事:一对男女深夜在上海浦东区一宾馆内发生了纠纷,女子气不过,喊来自己的个“姐姐”来帮自己出气。没想到...全文: m.weibo ​
[The hotel in the middle of the night in a dispute between a man and a woman, the woman three sister carry a stick to help... Someone once said, dont piss women off, otherwise the consequence is very serious. See here, a lot of boys said unconvinced. But recently, is such a wonderful work happened a pair of men and women in the pudong district of Shanghai in the middle of the night disputes happened in a hotel, womens gas but shout to own a sister to help yourself. I didnt think... The full text m. eibo]

新闻热线: 工作沟通、广告合作请联系微信:Alex

金山夜话博主:
    #金山夜话# 听友:老师,我老公出轨现在嘴上说选择家庭回来,但是他总是背地和那女人联系。被我发现就承诺最后一次,还说他需要时间,但我能看出来其实他是不在乎我的感受的。他自己是还没有放下那女人。我特别无力,一次次原谅让我自己都觉得没了底线。说实话,我对他有感情,也想和他好好过,也想孩...全文: m.weibo ​
[# # jinshan night listening to a friend teacher, my husband to cheat now say choose family back, but he always secretly to contact the woman. Was I found he promised last time, also said he needs time, but I can tell he is dont care how I feel. He is not the woman down. I particularly, again and again to forgive let myself dont think its the bottom line. To be honest, I have feelings for him, also want to live with him, also want to children... The full text m. eibo]

首届中国广电“台帝”,《金山夜话》主持人,记者,作家,著名情感问题专家

猫扑:
    【戏精女子阻止出殡 只因没买她家殡仪用品[摊手]】近日,山东德州一户人家出殡时,一女子先扬言喝药,后又躺地撒泼阻拦。原来她是殡仪用品店主,因对方没买她家用品不满。民警称,她强买强卖,药瓶多次使用但从没打开过,涉寻衅滋事已被刑拘。tRQXdSi ​
[【 play pure woman stop funeral Because they didnt buy her funeral products [stand hand]] recently, shandong Texas a family funeral, a woman has threatened to drink medicine, after lying to search. She is funeral supplies shop owner, because of the other party didnt buy her supplies. Police said she sold, medicine bottles used multiple times but never opened, wade stir-up-trouble has been detained. tRQXdSi]

猫扑网唯一指定官方微博。私信开放投稿、爆料。 商务合作-曹先生QQ: ;杨女士QQ:

优酷:
    #上优酷看世界杯#这个夏天不只是围观世界杯,还有更多脑洞大开的嗨球姿势等你解锁。
月日-月日,评论留下你猜想优酷世界杯的种玩法,将随机抽出位送出优酷VIP月卡,送你看优酷世界杯直播!
因为足球,所以热爱。#这世界杯很酷# ​

[# # on youku watch the World Cup this summer is not just watching the World Cup, there are more imaginative hi ball position waiting for you to unlock. < br > - on February nd, comments that you guess youku World Cup game, will be randomly drawn out on youku VIP card, send you see youku World Cup live! < br > because football, so love. Cool # # the World Cup]

汽车之家:
    #家人来“找茬”#亲爱的家人们,游戏时间到,快来回答吧。下面这张图你能最快猜出它是哪款车吗?最快答对的用户会获得家家送出的精美礼品一份。正确答案将于今晚点转发本微博公布。 ​​​​
[# # family to search for my dear family, the game time, quick to answer. The image below you can guess what it is fastest car? Fastest right users will get every send a nice present. The correct answer will be announced this late forwarding this weibo. ​​​​]

汽车之家为广大汽车消费者提供买车、用车、养车及与汽车生活相关的全程服务,以全面、专业、可信赖、高互动性的内容,多层次、多维度地影响最广泛的汽车消费者,是中国最具价值的互联网汽车营销平台。

优酷:
    #系列剧双峰# 定档啦!!!获艾美奖项提名、最烧脑悬疑剧、鬼才导演大卫•林奇执导,本届白玉兰奖海外剧入围作品 #双峰# 将于月日起登陆优酷全网独播。酷喵会员独享全集,VIP会员抢先看!“角色”篇预告预告了解一下 tRViJu ​
[# # series twin peaks on file!!! Won an emmy nominations, the brain a thriller, a genius director David lynch, the magnolia award show overseas # # twin peaks will be seleted work from the date of month on youku so alone. Cool meow members exclusive corpora, VIP member first! Character article forecast forecast about tRViJu]

猫扑:
    【一脚踹掉半月工资!外卖小哥心情差拿电梯发泄】南京雨花台一小区电梯发生故障,在判断是人为造成的之后,物业公司报了警。监控显示,电梯是被一名外卖小哥踹坏的。徐某称自己一时情绪失控,便踹电梯发泄。考虑到徐某的实际情况,往日也没有劣迹,在和物业公司沟通后,警方决定进行调解。物业公司的工...全文: m.weibo ​
[【 a kicked off and a half months wages! Take-out poor little elder brother the mood to take the elevator to vent 】 an avenue of nanjing flower terrace elevator failure, after the judgment is man-made, property company called the police. Monitoring shows that the elevator is a take-away little elder brother chuai bad. Xu said his momentary mood out of control, then kick elevator to vent. Considering the actual situation of xu, in the past nor misdeeds, after communication with property company, the police decided to mediate. The work of property management company... The full text m. eibo]

猫扑网唯一指定官方微博。私信开放投稿、爆料。 商务合作-曹先生QQ: ;杨女士QQ:

小米手机:
    #小米#支持多功能NFC,手机就是银行卡、公交卡、工卡、饭卡、门禁卡……到底有多方便?tRELLz ​
[# # millet support multi-function NFC, mobile phone is bank CARDS and bus card, work card, meal card, entrance guard card... How convenient? tRELLz]

探索黑科技,为发烧而生。

新浪汽车:
    #车迷猜猜猜# 遇到这种情况时,内心想的是什么啊[吃瓜] ​
[# # fans guess to meet with this kind of situation, whats going on inside aheat the melon]

最新鲜的汽车资讯;
最快速的新车报道;
最全面的车型数据;
最及时的车型报价;
最丰富的汽车活动。

汽车之家:
    #家家汽车文化##宾利添越# 【天生贵族 宾利添越插电混动版气场很强】 tRQgNGP ​
[# # # # every auto culture bentley adds more [born noble bentley add the plug-in electric hybrid aura strong 】 tRQgNGP]

汽车之家为广大汽车消费者提供买车、用车、养车及与汽车生活相关的全程服务,以全面、专业、可信赖、高互动性的内容,多层次、多维度地影响最广泛的汽车消费者,是中国最具价值的互联网汽车营销平台。

微博时尚:
    #孙怡生日快乐#你是《十五年等待候鸟》的黎璃,是《因为遇见你》中那个爽朗的张果果,是《人生若如初相见》中那个敢爱敢恨的秦桑,是《凉生我们可不可以不忧伤》中的姜生,今天你是粉丝眼中最可爱的小公举,生日快乐@孙怡微博 ​
[# # Sun Yi happy birthday you are li glass of fifteen years waiting for migratory birds, is because I meet you in the chipper blended, is the life if again meet, that dare to love dare hate qin sang, is the cool living can we just not sorrow, the jsens, today you are the most lovely little public election fans eyes, happy birthday @ Sun Yiwei bo]

微博时尚专注于微博时尚美妆、珠宝设计、服装设计等领域

小野妹子学吐槽:
    完美无缝对接[ok]
[Seamless docking [ok]]

图文多转自日文推特,附以无责任吐槽。关注后易节操丧失、下限消亡、性向逆转、生理失调。

一块去旅行:
    新的一周满怀期待,结果才过了半天就……[二哈][二哈][二哈]你们的周一还好吗? ​
[New week anticipation, the result was only had half a day to be... [two ha] [two ha] [two ha] you on Monday? ​]

我们的征途是星辰大海,愿做你旅程中的灯塔,一路照亮你前行。合作QQ:

苍井空:
    好玩儿!! ​
[Fun!!!!! ​]

大家好!我是苍井空. 有时演电影,唱歌,有时在电视节目中露露脸。为了更好的交流.我在努力地学习中文ing 工作邮箱:solaaoi@sina

南方都市报:
    【男子昏迷倒地 调度员电话指导救援:“别挂电话,我教你怎么做”】近日,辽宁葫芦岛,一岁男子昏迷倒地,失去呼吸心跳。市急救中心调度员李紫慧迅速调度救护车后,没有挂断电话,而是指导家属进行心肺复苏急救。分秒,黄金救援时间保住了,患者的肺部换气和心脏泵血保住了![心](央视)...全文: m.weibo ​
[The man in a coma for ground dispatcher telephone direct relief dont hang up, I will teach you how to do 】 recently, liaoning huludao, old man in a coma fall on the ground, breathing heartbeat. City emergency center dispatcher Li Zihui scheduling quickly after the ambulance, no hang up the phone, but the family guidance for cardiopulmonary resuscitation. Minutes, gold relief time saved, in patients with pulmonary ventilation and heart pump blood saved! [heart] (CCTV)... The full text m. eibo]

欢迎关注南方都市报官方微博

青年时报:
    【杭州准妈妈被医学报告弄得心烦意乱放弃胎儿……这“锅”家里的猫咪得背!】好不容易怀上“鸡宝宝”,前年底,肚子有喜的王女士却被被一纸医学报告弄得心烦意乱,原来她被查出来弓形虫感染阳性。为了孩子健康,她下定决心暂时放弃“妈咪梦”。好在,在一番“调整”后,王女士又成功怀上了宝宝。回忆起...全文: m.weibo ​


新闻热线: 工作沟通、广告合作请联系微信:Alex

冷笑话精选:
    出门不到一秒就脱妆,不用怕~vivo AI智能美颜,就算妆脱得像狗一样,还能拍出炒鸡美腻的自拍照!隆重安利一下天猫品类日!超级低价.元秒杀爆款手机XPlay,#vivo全面实力派Z#新品上市,火热开售,抢购还能尊享豪华礼盒!AI上狂欢购,就问你go不go?tRKTc ​
[Go out less than one second to makeup, dont be afraid ~ vivo AI intelligent skin care, makeup off even if it is like a dog can make Fried chicken beauty of the photo! Amway grand Tmall category day! Super low price. Yuan seconds kill phone XPlay, # vivo comprehensive strength Z# product launches, hot sale, snapping up also can enjoy luxurious gift box! AI carnival on the purchase, ask you go no go? tRKTc]

毒舌嘴贱会吐槽,颜正腿长一米八,八块腹肌的冷哥就是我!

猫扑:
    小女孩哭着让妈妈给她找男朋友! 哈哈哈这超前的危机意识可是说是很强了!佩服佩服!tRYLEhG ​
[The little girl cried and let her mother to find a boyfriend! Ha ha ha this sense of crisis in advance but is very strong! Admire you! tRYLEhG]

猫扑网唯一指定官方微博。私信开放投稿、爆料。 商务合作-曹先生QQ: ;杨女士QQ:

新浪汽车:
    #微博交通台#【万劳斯莱斯怼上公交 网友戏称撞掉了一栋房的首付】月日,黑龙江哈尔滨,一辆劳斯莱斯与一辆公交车相撞。据公交车队的工作人员介绍,当时公交车正去加气,在路口绿灯准备右转时,左侧一辆劳斯莱斯闯红灯撞在公交车左前部。现场视频显示,劳斯莱斯并未悬挂车牌,车标小金人也被撞倒。...全文: m.weibo ​
[# # weibo communication radio [than Rolls-Royce Dui bus netizen called knocked on a house down payment] month day, heilongjiang Harbin, a rolls Royce collided with a bus. According to the staff bus fleet, at the time the bus is going to the gas, the green light at an intersection to turn right, the left side of the red light into a rolls Royce in the front of the bus left. Live video show, Rolls-Royce has not hanging plate, logo statuette was knocked down. ... The full text m. eibo]

最新鲜的汽车资讯;
最快速的新车报道;
最全面的车型数据;
最及时的车型报价;
最丰富的汽车活动。

汽车之家:
    #家人帮家人#@站着-不说话:“我的购车预算在万,想要一台合资紧凑三厢轿车,自动挡,带ESP,大家有啥车推荐么?” ​
[# @ # family help family standing - not to speak my car budget in, want a joint venture is compact saloon car, automatic, ESP, you have what car recommend? ​]

汽车之家为广大汽车消费者提供买车、用车、养车及与汽车生活相关的全程服务,以全面、专业、可信赖、高互动性的内容,多层次、多维度地影响最广泛的汽车消费者,是中国最具价值的互联网汽车营销平台。

小野妹子学吐槽:
    最美的不是下雨天,是小幺鸡带来vivo京东品牌日攻略的那一天!抢元大额神券优惠购机!晒单还赠CHANEL香水!最牛掰的是单额最高名可获FIFA世界杯现场门票!同场加映还有颜值与实力并存的 #vivo全面实力派Z# 新品上市,火热发售!这也太强大了!所以你到底pick不pick这份攻略?! ...全文: m.weibo ​
[Is the most beautiful not rainy day, XiaoYao chicken bring vivo jingdong brand strategy of the day! Rob yuan big god offer buyers! Drying single also give CHANEL perfume! Best break is highest single amount of available tickets for the FIFA World Cup live! Meanwhile added and the level of appearance and strength # vivo comprehensive strength Z# product launches, hot sale! Its too strong! So you dont pick pick this strategy? ! ... The full text m. eibo]

图文多转自日文推特,附以无责任吐槽。关注后易节操丧失、下限消亡、性向逆转、生理失调。

金山夜话博主:
    #金山夜话# 听友:我就是不会说情话,她很久以前说过我不懂浪漫,其实我做过很多实际的东西,譬如她过生日的时候,我亲手剥了好几天,满满一大盒的榛子,放在心形的盒子里,所有人都羡慕的不行,还有情人节的烛光晚餐,上次回沈阳我亲手折了半个月各种颜色的玫瑰,多个,插在后备箱里,摆出很漂亮的...全文: m.weibo ​
[# # jinshan night listening to a friend I just cant say sweet nothings, she said a long time ago I dont understand romantic, actually I have done a lot of practical things, such as her birthday, off for several days, and I have a large box full of hazelnuts, heart-shaped boxes not envy of everyone, and valentines day candlelight dinner, the last time back to shenyang I have discount for half a month all sorts of color of the rose, multiple, inserted in the trunk, pose very beautiful... The full text m. eibo]

首届中国广电“台帝”,《金山夜话》主持人,记者,作家,著名情感问题专家

青年时报:
    【突发!今早滨江一对卖早餐的夫妻被发现死在店内,疑为煤饼中毒】蔡师傅住在联庄号附近,对门住着一对卖早餐的老夫妻。早上点多醒来,他看到夫妻二人店面卷帘门半拉着,门紧闭,卖早餐用的三轮车也不在,他也没在意。等他再次醒来看到警察在附近封锁店面,才明白出事了……tRllSV ​
[【 emergency! Riverside this morning a selling breakfast couple was found dead in the store, suspected briquette poisoning 】 Peter codder live near lian zhuang, and a sell breakfast old couple lived across the hall. Points more than in the morning wake up, he saw the couple stores shutter half the door closed, tricycle is not selling breakfast, he didnt care. When he woke up again see police blocked nearby stores, it became clear that something had happened... tRllSV]

新闻热线: 工作沟通、广告合作请联系微信:Alex

金山夜话博主:
    #金山夜话# tRWdCa ​
[# # jinshan night tRWdCa]

首届中国广电“台帝”,《金山夜话》主持人,记者,作家,著名情感问题专家

星巴克北京:
    周末,快速蒸发,忧郁Monday总是一个人挤地铁回家?好时光不多,那就让星爸爸等你回家,周一(今天)晚点—点,邀你和小伙伴#相聚夏夜 分享爱#。点击视频了解详情。有星巴克的周一,再美的风景也比不上回家那条路~ tRWKrk ​
[Weekend, rapid evaporation, blue Monday is always a person crowded subway home? Good times, let the star dad waiting for you to go home, on Monday (today) - late point, invite you and your friend share love # # meet summer night. Click on the video for details. Have a starbucks on Monday, the scenery is no match for the home again the road ~ tRWKrk]

星巴克咖啡公司成立于年,始终致力于商业道德采购并烘焙世界上最优质的阿拉比卡咖啡豆。四十年间,门店遍布全球的星巴克已经成为世界上首屈一指的专业咖啡烘焙商和零售商。

小野妹子学吐槽:
    哥哥?!?我不是我没有别乱讲啊!
[The elder brother? ! ? I am not I have no dont disorderly speak!]

图文多转自日文推特,附以无责任吐槽。关注后易节操丧失、下限消亡、性向逆转、生理失调。

金山夜话博主:
    #金山夜话# 听友:最近经济压力很大,想向男友借钱,又张不开嘴,后来还是向朋友借了。男友不是大方的人,不好意思借是不敢试探,万一他拒绝不知道该怎么继续。想问下专家,这种情况应该如何处理。男友对我很好,也说有什么事都告诉他,但是交往中感觉他确实不大方,但也不小气,经济条件还行。金山:...全文: m.weibo ​
[# # jinshan night listening to a friend recent economic pressure is very big, want to borrow money from her boyfriend, and dont open mouth, or borrowed a friend later. Her boyfriend is not generous people, embarrassed to borrow is afraid to temptation, he declined to one thousand dont know how to continue. Want to ask next experts, this kind of circumstance should be how to deal with. Her boyfriend is very kind to me, also said that have anything to tell him, but felt like he wasnt really in a relationship, but also not stingy, economic conditions are ok. Jinshan... The full text m. eibo]

首届中国广电“台帝”,《金山夜话》主持人,记者,作家,著名情感问题专家

没有评论:

发表评论