冷笑话精选：
微波炉过劳@表情bot微波炉：早知道烂厂里了@可爱凯_微波炉的过劳死[笑cry]@房东的猫语说她懒吧但她做饭，说她不懒吧但她这样做饭[开学季]
[Bot microwave oven microwave oven overfatigue @ expression early know bad factory @ lovely kay _ microwave karoshi [laugh cry] @ the landlord said she lazy cat but she cook a meal, said she was not lazy but she so cooking [back-to-school]]
毒舌嘴贱会吐槽，颜正腿长一米八，八块腹肌的冷哥就是我！
元气满满新沐瞳：
[抱抱][抱抱][抱抱]@老六怎么的[心][心][心][心][心][心]@小孩嘎嘎牛他是带着爱离去的，他最大的愿望一定是愿你健康，顺意。薇薇节哀。
[[hug] [hug] [hug] @ old six how [heart] [heart] [heart] [heart] [heart] [heart] @ baby gaga bull he is left with love, his greatest wish must be wishing you health and relationships. Vivian grief.]
凡心所向，素履所往，生如逆旅，一苇以航
优酷：
#我可能遇到了救星# 认真对待生活，静待属于自己的“救星”。酷酷子祝热爱生活的小叶医生@梁洁Little 生日快乐！[蛋糕]
愿你心中总有勇气，身边常伴爱意！
[# # I met savior may take life seriously, for their own savior. Cool son wish love life lobular doctor @ Liang Jie Little happy birthday! [cake] < br > may you always have the courage in your heart, always love! ]
优·爆款制造机·宠粉十级选手·优酷独播四字全网宣传大使·酷 👖爱你ღ( ´·ᴗ·` )
优酷：
[]支棱酷今日表现貌似还八错？都把小板凳搬好，下半年就看👖表演吧！晚安[心]
#下半年最值得期待的待播剧#
#优酷待播片单# #唠嗑酷酷子#
[[] knife cool todays eight seems wrong? All moving small wooden bench, in the second half will see 👖 show! Good night [heart] < br > < br > # # the most worth looking forward to the second half of the play < br > # youku to slice single # # # be cool]
优·爆款制造机·宠粉十级选手·优酷独播四字全网宣传大使·酷 👖爱你ღ( ´·ᴗ·` )
卢健生：
不是应该以到达机场值机时间为准？@金线胡同这样的政策谁也好过不了@程序员邹欣 @北京绿叶子貌似一本正经，严格管理，其实就是滥用职权。超过的这分钟消耗在机场里，有什么意义纠缠这分钟？
[Not to arrive at the airport check-in time shall prevail? @ gold alley who such a policy is better than no @ programmers zou xin @ Beijing green leaves as serious, strict management, in fact is the abuse of power. Over consumption of the minutes at the airport, whats the meaning of pestering the minutes?]
Z CAM 首席执行官
卢健生：
@flypig 试试。
[@ flypig try.]
Z CAM 首席执行官
央视新闻：
【夜读丨这是我最接近宋朝的一次】 tAaPXOhx
[The night 丨 a 】 this is my most close to the song dynasty tAaPXOhx]
“央视新闻”是中央广播电视总台新闻新媒体旗舰账号，是总台重大新闻、突发事件和重要报道的首发平台。
小浪同学敲黑板：
#深夜大明白#【练起来~#一组动作改善骨盆前倾#】久坐容易造成骨盆前倾，进而出现不良体态。试试这组动作，帮你改善骨盆前倾↓tAXjthbW
[Practice up ~ # # # the night big understand 【 a set of actions to improve the pelvis forward # 】 sedentary cause pelvic forward, and poor posture. Try this group action, to help you improve your pelvis forward left tAXjthbW down]
国事家事天下事，事事关心。
新浪热点：
#深夜大明白#【我国猴痘诊疗指南你需要了解哪些？】今天（日），国家卫生健康委会同国家中医药管理局发布了《猴痘诊疗指南（年版）》。《诊疗指南》指出：①猴痘病毒是对人类致病的种正痘病毒属之一。②猴痘病毒的生存条件。③猴痘病毒的主要传染源及传播方式。④猴痘病毒的潜伏期及发病症状。
[# # the night big understand 【 monkeypox guidelines you need to understand what our country? Today (Monday), the national health committee and the state administration of traditional Chinese medicine issued the monkeypox guidelines (edition) . Guidelines pointed out () monkeypox virus is one kind of variola virus of human pathogenic. () the survival conditions of monkeypox virus. () the main source for the spread of monkeypox virus and spread. () monkeypox virus incubation period and the onset of symptoms. ]
只想做一只人见人爱的客户端
新浪热点：
【#求救电话只有喘息声调度员定位救人#】近日，南京市急救中心接到一通求助电话，对方说了声“我头疼”后，只剩下微弱的喘息声。危急关头，调度员根据来电定位锁定了患者大概方位，安排就近救护车出诊，同时联系警方获取病人详细住址信息。多分钟后，这位独居的急腹症患者被找到并送往医院救治。
[Only gasps dispatcher location # call save # 】 recently, got a call for help emergency center, nanjing city, the other party say the I have a headache, only a weak gasps. Crisis, according to the dispatcher telephone positioning lock the patient about bearing, arrange an ambulance to the nearest visits, contact the police at the same time for patient detailed address information. After many minutes, the solitary was found in patients with acute abdominal pain and taken to a hospital. ]
只想做一只人见人爱的客户端
汽车之家：
#晚安家人# 你最想吐槽的开车行为是什么？ [晕]
[# # good night family would you most like to poke fun of driving behavior is what? [dizzy]]
汽车之家是中国领先的汽车互联网平台，为消费者提供优质的汽车消费和汽车生活服务，助力中国汽车产业蓬勃发展。 我们致力于通过产品服务、数据技术、生态规则和资源为用户和客户赋能，建设“车内容、车交易、车金融、车生活” 个圈，建立以数据和技术为核心的智能汽车生态圈，正式迈向智能化的.时代。看车买车用车，都回汽车之家。
南方都市报：
#深圳电话远程指导救回溺水男童#【深圳一男童溺水家中水桶，电话远程指导其父亲急救成功】月日下午，在深圳市宝安区流塘市场一宿舍，一名岁半的男童趁家人不注意偷偷在厕所玩水，结果一不不留神跌入水桶内发生溺水，等家人发现时男童的呼吸与心跳都停止了，男童父亲赶紧拨打了，在医生电
[Telephone remote mentoring to rescue the drowning boy # # shenzhen (shenzhen a drowning boy bucket in the home, telephone remote mentoring his father first-aid success] month day afternoon, in a dormitory, shenzhen baoan district flow pond market one and a half years old boy while family members do not pay attention to secretly to play in the toilet water, the results of a drowning occurs in the not not careful fell into the bucket, the family found such as the boys had stopped breathing and heart, called the boys father, doctor in electricity]
欢迎关注南方都市报官方微博
ZAKER：
#深夜ZAKER# 没有谁的生活会一直完美，但无论什么时候，都要看着前方，满怀希望就会所向披靡。——《撒野》
[# late-night ZAKER# whose life is not always perfect, but no matter what time, will look at the front, hope is the club to the inevitable. - run]
传递价值资讯：myzaker
平安北京：
别熬了，快去睡觉！！[月亮]
[Dont stay up, go to sleep!! [moon]]
这里是北京市公安局官方微博，在这里您可以了解到北京警方的新闻资讯。欢迎您给我们提出意见和建议。
新浪热点：
【#男子次偷窥后溜进他人卧室# 遇出警民警还帮指路】近日，四川自贡。@自贡公安 东兴寺派出所接到群众报警，有陌生人进入自己卧室。民警到达现场查看监控后发现，一名男子在报警人窗外多次偷窥，还偷偷进入报警人卧室。民警发现监控中偷窥的男子，极像是刚刚热心为他们指路的茶馆老板，于是返回找到该
[【 # man after peeping slip into others bedroom # in case of a police also help police directions 】 recently, zigong, sichuan. @ zigong city public security police station received a large temple masses alarm, a stranger into his bedroom. After the police arrived at the scene view monitoring found that a man in the alarm people out of the window to peep for many times, they sneak into the alarm people bedroom. Police found monitoring peeping in man, a very like the teahouse boss just zeal for them the way, then find the return]
只想做一只人见人爱的客户端
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