冷笑话精选：
？@抱乍？？？越来越疑惑
[? @ hold first??? More and more puzzled]
毒舌嘴贱会吐槽，颜正腿长一米八，八块腹肌的冷哥就是我！
南方都市报：
【#浙江大学决定给予努某某开除学籍处分#】据浙大发布微信公众号，月日，浙江大学召开校务会议审议级本科学生努某某处分事宜，决定给予努某某开除学籍处分。
月日努某某事件引发网络关注后，学校立即成立专项工作组，依法依规开展调查，对来信来访和网络举报进行了认真核查和取证。现已查实...全文： m.weibo
[【 # zhejiang university decided to give Mr So-and-so expelled sanction # 】 according to zhejiang university publishing WeChat public, June , general meeting review level undergraduate students of zhejiang university Mr So-and-so disciplinary matters, decided to give Mr So-and-so expelled. < br > < br > Mr So-and-so event trigger network focused on February nd, after school immediately set up a special working group, in accordance with the investigation according to regulation, letter to visit and network report of a careful check and evidence collection. Now examine... The full text m. eibo]
欢迎关注南方都市报官方微博
ZAKER：
【浙江大学：给予级本科生努某某开除学籍处分】 经查努某某确实存在多项被举报的违纪违规情况，被处分人对违纪事实无异议>> tAUUxGLS
[[of zhejiang university to give Mr So-and-so students expelled dispose 】 as Mr So-and-so discipline violations do exist a number of complaints, be punishment for violations of facts without objection > > tAUUxGLS]
传递价值资讯：myzaker
但斌：
这个基金权属已经是学校的了，我们也是希望如此，希望借助投资能让这个基金越滚越大，每年拿出%，用于奖励优秀的莘莘学子！@马健-证券经纪人这个基金不想诺贝儿基金类似吗？基金用于投资，部分收益用于发奖，这样可以长期永续运行。
[The fund ownership is the school, we also hope so, hope to let the fund with investment rolling, the greater the pay %, used to reward outstanding students! @ ma jian - securities broker the funds do not want to Nobel son similar? Funds for investment, part of the proceeds of prizes, so that we can long-term sustainable operation.]
一个普通、真诚、热爱生活的人
但斌：
人生难以规划@常识就好假设河南与陕西考生考同样分，陕西考生上建筑学院，顺利的话十几年后做项目经理。而河南考生去工地做木工，由于智商很好情商也不错，图纸一学就会上手更快，对自己职业有规划，慢慢包活干越干越大十几年后竟然成立建筑公司，于是把陕西那大学生请来做项目经理，是不是殊途同归
[Life is hard to plan the @ is good common sense assumptions of henan and shaanxi examinee tested the same points, shaanxi examinee in architecture school, goes through more than ten years to do the project manager. And henan examinee to site carpentry, because IQ is good eq is good too, drawing at hand faster, a duck for their career planning, the bigger the package work more slowly dry should set up a construction company more than a dozen years later, then the shaanxi college students come to do the project manager, all roads lead to Rome]
一个普通、真诚、热爱生活的人
中国东方航空：
年前 东东第一次见到张艳老师，她数十年如一日的工作热忱和对民航安全的诚挚追求，让我第一次真实全面地认识到萨利机长的话：驾驶舱之外，是乘务员在守护乘客们的安全。[good]
[Years ago you first met Zhang Yan teacher, her decades working enthusiasm and the sincere pursuit of the civil aviation safety, let the first time I fully realize the real Sally captain outside the cockpit, flight attendants in protect the safety of the passengers. [good]]
中国东方航空集团公司总部位于上海，是我国三大国有骨干航空运输集团之一。年，以原东航集团公司为主体，在兼并原中国西北航空公司、联合原云南航空公司的基础上组建而成中国东方航空集团公司。经过数年的调整优化和资源整合，东航集团已基本形成以民航客货运输服务为主，通用航空、航空食品、进出口、金融期货、传媒广告、旅游票务、机场投资等业务为辅的航空运输集成服务体系。
但斌：
# 腾讯新闻 # 美国最新民调显示：民众反华情绪泛滥tAUUVYMI 来自@腾讯新闻
[# # tencent news the latest polls show people anti-chinese sentiment flood tAUUVYMI from @ tencent news]
一个普通、真诚、热爱生活的人
刘彦斌：
我是交易者，不是做股评的，做对了我获利，做错了我套牢或砍仓，最多的一次砍仓亏%，我从不给自己找借口，因为没卵用，股市不相信借口，更不相信眼泪💧炒股是真金白银的交易，亏不起就别参与，既然参与就要愿赌服输！
[I am a trader, not doing a review, did the right thing I profit, doing wrong I hold up or cut storehouse, one of the largest cut storehouse kui %, I never find excuses for himself, because no eggs, stock market does not believe that excuse, more dont believe in tears 💧 fry is real money trading, cant afford to lose, dont participate, since participation must be original! ]
冷笑话精选：
@ss陳sc别太敏感吧@城南邮局是的@fourmobsters不要总是委屈了自己
[Dont be too sensitive @ @ ss chan sc city post office yes @ fourmobsters dont torment yourself]
毒舌嘴贱会吐槽，颜正腿长一米八，八块腹肌的冷哥就是我！
元气满满新沐瞳：
转发微博
[Forwarding microblogging]
凡心所向，素履所往，生如逆旅，一苇以航
汽车之家：
#晚安家人# 深夜话题：有哪些不文明的开车行为是你最想吐槽的？[doge]
[# # good night family night topic what are the driving behavior is not civilization would you most like to fun? [doge]]
汽车之家是中国领先的汽车互联网平台，为消费者提供优质的汽车消费和汽车生活服务，助力中国汽车产业蓬勃发展。 我们致力于通过产品服务、数据技术、生态规则和资源为用户和客户赋能，建设“车内容、车交易、车金融、车生活” 个圈，建立以数据和技术为核心的智能汽车生态圈，正式迈向智能化的.时代。看车买车用车，都回汽车之家。
ZAKER：
#深夜ZAKER# 以后你要多加小心啊。这个世界有很多置他人于不幸，并幸灾乐祸的人。——东野圭吾
[# ZAKER# late at night after you to be careful. This world there are many others in unfortunate and glee. - the tolo keigo]
传递价值资讯：myzaker
新浪新闻客户端：
#深夜大明白#【秒纠正圆肩驼背】日本爆款妙招，看到赚到！试着做这个动作分钟，看看你的背会发生什么变化....[吃惊] tAUUqGNe
[# # the night big understand Japans second correct round shoulder hump 】 【 hot style tips, see earn! Try to do this action minutes and see what will happen to your back... [surprised] tAUUqGNe]
只想做一只人见人爱的客户端
小野妹子学吐槽：
还在玩漂流瓶？不会吧不会吧！现在都流行玩江疏影小姐姐同款的@畅轻 邀约瓶啦！炎炎夏日，邀请好友来一场属于自己的青春环游记吧~也可以一边看#三十而已#一边来几口王漫妮同款酸奶，让身心畅轻~重要的是在@淘鲜达 下单购买产品,只要小时就能送货到家啦～赶紧戳tAUyXkv
#青春环游身心畅轻...全文： m.weibo
[Also play drift bottles? No no! Now all popular play thin film with the little sister of @ jiang chang light invitation bottle! Sorching summer, invite friends to a belongs to own youth travel down ~ can only see # # while to wang diffuse ni with few yogurt, make body and mind chang light ~ is important in @ for fresh order for products, as long as hours can delivery ~ to poke tAUyXkv < br > # light youth around the body and mind chang... The full text m. eibo]
图文多转自日文推特，附以无责任吐槽。关注后易节操丧失、下限消亡、性向逆转、生理失调。
冷笑话精选：
这也太灵活了？？@太皇太后您有喜啦人类驯服脚趾的珍贵视频流出@ouineeeee-哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈@万事屋纸纸酱？？这个脚也太灵活了点吧@超低速飙車哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈好灵活的jiojio
[It is too flexible?? @ too tame toes the queen mother happy you human precious video out @ ouineeeee - ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha @ all the house of paper paper jam?? The foot is too too flexible @ super-low speed racing ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha good flexible jiojio]
毒舌嘴贱会吐槽，颜正腿长一米八，八块腹肌的冷哥就是我！
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