冷笑话精选：
很棒了@奶牛猫都是哈士奇变得 正好要装修，马一下@我要是有猫就好了心动了[哆啦A梦吃惊]@不想叫这个名字了D厉害。能留住最好。
[Cats are great @ cows huskies just to decorate, horse @ I wish I have A cat move [doraemon surprised] @ dont want to call the name D. Can keep the best.]
毒舌嘴贱会吐槽，颜正腿长一米八，八块腹肌的冷哥就是我！
天猫：
恭喜你发财，恭喜你精彩！本喵果然还是“灵魂画手”，快来找找图片里有多少套天猫美妆洗护品牌红包？.-.上#天猫年货节#选超值限量周边，发红包也要#新年一套一套的#！点开大图，告诉本喵图里一共有几套，圈出你最喜欢的品牌红包！[偷笑]听说在评论里艾特对应红包品牌还会有特别惊喜哦～
[Congratulations you get rich, congratulations on your splendid! The meow indeed as expected or hand painting soul, come and look in the picture how many sets of Tmall wash protect beauty makeup brand red envelopes? . -. # # goodies for Tmall section on selected value set limit to, sending a red envelope is a set of a set of # # New Year! Points to open a larger view, tell the meow there are several sets of figure, circle your favorite brand red envelopes! [laughing] I heard in the comments @ corresponding red brand will also have a special surprise ~]
(σﾟ∀ﾟ)σ..*☆理想生活，上天猫！─=≡Σ(((つ•̀ω•́)つ超皮官V，撩本喵！
南方都市报：
【广州年历史老茶楼银灯食府结业，有茶客从东北赶来告别】“食在广州”是广州一张名片，不少餐饮名店更是在国内享负盛名。月日，有着年历史的广州老茶楼银灯食府宣告正式结业，连日来众多食客纷纷闻讯赶来道别，有游客从东北赶来，感受广式点心的魅力，当天茶楼等位爆满，排队两小时未阻市民游客...全文： m.weibo
[Years old teahouse [guangzhou graduation, silver light restaurants have customers from the northeast to farewell 】 eating in guangzhou guangzhou is a business card, more highly renowned in the domestic many food shops. Month day, year old guangzhou old teahouse declare formal completion, silver light restaurants for many diners have rushed to say goodbye, visitors from the northeast, feel the charm of cantonese dim sum, teahouse closely packed in the day, has not stopped people lined up to two hours of tourists... The full text m. eibo]
欢迎关注南方都市报官方微博
新浪汽车：
#出行生活# 【车子被挡，司机连撞次堵路车】浙江桐庐，一司机的车被其他车辆挡住，该司机连撞次将该车撞开。目前，该女士已投案自首，案件正在处理。[傻眼] tAisXPCU
[# # travel life 【 car is blocked, plugging bus driver hit times 】 tonglu, zhejiang province, the driver is blocked by other vehicles, the driver hit times will be the car knocked down. At present, the woman has, surrendered, the case is processing. [been] tAisXPCU]
新鲜的汽车资讯； 快速的新车报道； 全面的车型数据； 及时的车型报价； 丰富的汽车活动。
优酷：
#看春晚上优酷# 经过风雨，见过彩虹，她活成了一朵铿锵玫瑰；历尽沉淀，复出首秀，她将唱响人生新篇章[赞]
月日晚，锁定#湖南卫视春晚#，优酷全网首播，金牌实力唱将@田震 邀你一同#快乐奔小康 幸福中国年#！
[Youku # # to see spring night after wind and rain, seen the rainbow, she became a sonorous rose live; Back through the precipitation, the first show, she will represent a new chapter of life [who] < br > month day night, lock # # hunan satellite TV gala, youku tech-oriented premiere, gold medal strength will sing @ tian zhen invite you together # # up a happy happy Chinese New Year! ]
小浪同学爱吐槽：
#美食时刻#冬天来了，来碗鲜美的三鲜汤，暖暖胃tAisiLaDM
[# # food moments winter has come, to three fresh soup bowl of delicious, warm stomach tAisiLaDM]
国事家事天下事，事事关心。
新浪新闻客户端：
#美食时刻#【锅包肉的做法】超好吃的锅包肉教程来啦！建议先马后学[馋嘴]tAisxrwN
[# # practice 】 【 pot bag meat food moments to pot bag meat taste very good tutorial! Suggest first horse [available] tAisxrwN]
只想做一只人见人爱的客户端
小野妹子学吐槽：
岛国电视台星座x血型最全运势榜单...果然从后面找比较快[跪了]
[Most complete island station sign x type fortunes list... Indeed as expected from behind to find faster] [kneeling]
图文多转自日文推特，附以无责任吐槽。关注后易节操丧失、下限消亡、性向逆转、生理失调。
汽车之家：
#家人帮家人# @一健冬瓜周围走 这位朋友的购车需求如下，亲爱的家人们给他一些好的建议或者推荐吧！
[# @ # family help family health gourd walk around the friends car demand as follows, dear family to give him some good advice or recommendations! ]
汽车之家是中国领先的汽车互联网平台，为消费者提供优质的汽车消费和汽车生活服务，助力中国汽车产业蓬勃发展。 我们致力于通过产品服务、数据技术、生态规则和资源为用户和客户赋能，建设“车内容、车交易、车金融、车生活” 个圈，建立以数据和技术为核心的智能汽车生态圈，正式迈向智能化的.时代。看车买车用车，都回汽车之家。
优酷：
#黄金有罪#股场大佬在线教你做人系列！看似无情，但细品竟句句无法反驳！荣木桐@張兆輝 股海沉浮修炼的生意经，厚黑得如此有说服力[允悲] 超小声哼唧：荣木桐嘴上说着“股场无兄弟”，但甩出万的亚子，小编还是磕到了和钱永进@蕭正楠Edwin 的兄弟情[笑而不语]#优酷港剧场#
[Stock # # gold guilty field who teach you to be online series! Seemingly relentless, but the fine goods unable to refute word! The economics of RongMuTong @ Eddie cheung GuHai uniting the ups and downs, jorge posada so persuasive [allow sad] ultra small voice whisper RongMuTong mouth saying no brothers, but out of all the children, small make up or hard and Qian Yongjin @ monica Edwin brotherhood [smiling without a word] # youku port # theatre]
青年时报：
【#岁女童骑平衡车一年获个冠军#，每天对镜子说“我最棒”[赞]】年月日，西安岁萌娃张芸萱在世界车王平衡车赛中获冠军。她从年月开始练平衡车，一年场比赛获个冠军，还在日本获得双料冠军。妈妈说，芸萱洗漱时都喜欢对镜子说“我最棒”，以此鼓励自己。tAisiTRY
[【 # old girl won a year balance cycling #, said to the mirror every day I best [who]] (date) (month) (year), xi an, Eva Eva Zhang Yunxuan king of balanced car game won the champion in the world. In a year, she practiced since July balanced car games won a championship, also double championship in Japan. Mother said, home to xuan wash all like the mirror said my best, to encourage yourself. tAisiTRY]
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南方都市报：
【深圳市政协委员报到献策，关注高空坠物，让职场女性走出生育困境】本周进入“两会月”，深圳市政协六届六次会议于今天上午正式开幕，在开幕大会之前，昨天下午近个市政协委员陆续前来报到，提前和南都记者聊起了他们所带的提案。从内容上来看，今年政协委员关注的焦点集中在高空坠物、生育社保、...全文： m.weibo
[[shenzhen CPPCC member registration, pay attention to high altitude falling objects, family career women out of the predicament 】 this week into the month two sessions shenzhen peoples political consultative conference opening six annual meeting in the morning, before opening the conference, nearly a CPPCC member has to report to yesterday afternoon, in advance and SMW reporter talked them with the proposal. From the content point of view, this year the focus of the CPPCC is concentrated in the high altitude falling objects, birth of social security,... The full text m. eibo]
欢迎关注南方都市报官方微博
金山夜话博主：
#金山夜话# 从早晨到现在满天雪花飞舞，济南迎来第一场雪———大雪。“日暮苍山远，天寒白屋贫。柴门闻犬吠，风雪夜归人。”古今中外众多诗人都有对雪的赞美咏叹。春花、夏雨、秋枫、冬雪………山花烂漫、清风小溪、丛林绿草、蓝天白云………这一切都是人类喜爱的，这就是天然也叫天性。人类起小就应...全文： m.weibo
[# # jinshan night from morning till now all over the sky snow, jinan is the first snow - snow. Sunset features far, neither the White House is poor. Chai Men smell dog, snow in the night. Many ancient and modern, Chinese and foreign poets have praise echoing on the snow. Spring flowers, summer rain, autumn maple, snow...... Snowcapped, wind stream, jungle green grass, blue sky white clouds...... It is human love, it is also called natural nature. A thin should be human... The full text m. eibo]
首届中国广电“台帝”，《金山夜话》主持人，记者，作家，著名情感问题专家
刘彦斌：
早盘走势平稳，市场情绪稳定，稳中向好！
[Early moves smoothly, stable market sentiment, stability good! ]
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