冷笑话精选:
毫无准备就长大了,是什么感觉
___________________________
[Whats it like to grow up without preparation, < br > ___________________________]
毒舌嘴贱会吐槽,颜正腿长一米八,八块腹肌的冷哥就是我!
汽车之家:
#夜福利#全球限量辆 揽胜SV Coupe~
[# # night welfare global limited range SV Coupe ~]
汽车之家为广大汽车消费者提供买车、用车、养车及与汽车生活相关的全程服务,以全面、专业、可信赖、高互动性的内容,多层次、多维度地影响最广泛的汽车消费者,是中国最具价值的互联网汽车营销平台。
新浪新闻客户端:
【人民日报:每一次司法公正都会温润人心】#追砍电动车主遭反杀#“于海明的行为属于正当防卫”,众望所归!捍卫了法治,振奋了人心。激活正当防卫制度的适用,就能及时保障当事人的合法权益,有力震慑犯罪分子。法律不是镌刻在大理石上,而是铭刻在公民心中,让公民沐浴正义之光,让法治温润公民信仰。...全文: m.weibo
[[the Peoples Daily every justice will warm the hearts 】 # # after cut electric car owners by the kill hai-ming yu behavior belongs to the justifiable defense, desirable! Defend the rule of law, inspiring at a. To activate the application of the justifiable defense system, can safeguard the lawful rights and interests of the parties in time, effectively deter criminals. Law is not engraved on the marble, but impressed on citizens, let citizens bathed the light of justice, let the rule of law wen run civil religion. ... The full text m. eibo]
只想做一只人见人爱的客户端
优酷:
夏浩然对李易峰说我懂你帅。
大东说李易峰的安全感我承包了。
这是大型追星现场吗?#这就是灌篮#
tRFNeKM
[I understand you handsome Xia Haoran said to li yi feng. College cable said li yi feng I contracted sense of security. < br > this is a large make track for a star field? # # this is dunk college tRFNeKM]
小野妹子学吐槽:
现在后出门基本都被叫阿姨了,但那又怎样!我们特立独行,心态永远年轻! #理想生活 升级“精华版”的你# ,熬最晚的夜,用最好的精华,做最美的你!
tRFNH #天猫超级品类日# 面部精华专场,选个适合自己的精华,愿美丽不被辜负。
tRFNY
[Now go out after basic called aunt, but so what! We are unique, mentality forever young! # ideal life you # upgrade version essence, through the late night, using the best essence, do the best you! < br > tRFNH # # Tmall super category, facial cream, choose a suitable for their own essence, may the beautiful not be disappoint. < br > tRFNY]
图文多转自日文推特,附以无责任吐槽。关注后易节操丧失、下限消亡、性向逆转、生理失调。
卢健生:
#扫毒天地对决# 煞科宴,把握机会跟邱礼涛导演及副导演合照,希望下次导演继续给我机会。[哈哈] tRWPu
[# # drug-fighting duel of heaven and earth is feast, photo opportunity with Herman yau director and deputy director, hope that the next director continue to give me the opportunity. (ha ha) tRWPu]
Z CAM, CEO
小浪同学爱吐槽:
【《相声有新人》首现battle残酷刺激!张国立郭德纲严格升级 】晚,相声综艺竞演节目《相声有新人》将在东方卫视继续强势归来,随着比赛的推进众多有个人风格的新力量不断显露锋芒。本期赛制将进一步升级,相声界首次迎来激烈的battle模式,召唤师郭德纲、张国立严格选人再达新高度。...全文: m.weibo
[【 the crosstalk new people the first battle cruelty! Zhang guoli guo degang strict upgrade 】 late, crosstalk variety competitive play the crosstalk new people will continue their strong return on dragon TV, along with the advance of many individual style of new forces are revealed. This format will further upgrade, cross talk for the first time in the fierce battle mode, summoners guo degang, zhang guoli strictly candidate to reach new heights. ... The full text m. eibo]
国事家事天下事,事事关心。
新浪汽车:
#汽车趣图# 售价那么贵是有道理的,毕竟可以一车多用[喵喵]
[# # the car on price so expensive is reasonable, after all, can one car is multi-purpose [meow]]
新鲜的汽车资讯; 快速的新车报道; 全面的车型数据; 及时的车型报价; 丰富的汽车活动。
猫扑:
师傅:“嗯?已经帮你“雕成龙的头” 了啊!有什么不对的么?”[doge] (via@大连潮生活 )
[Master well? Already help you diao chans head! Whats wrong? [doge] (via @ dalian tide life)]
猫扑网唯一指定官方微博。私信开放投稿、爆料。 商务合作请联系微信:mopxmt
微博搞笑排行榜:
超有爱!!![鲜花]@biuboom嘟这也太好了 大家真温暖啊
[Super love!!!!!! [a flower] @ biuboom du this also too good everyone is really warm]
微博搞笑中心!每天搜罗最搞笑最好玩的微博。关注我,获得每日新鲜笑料!(欢迎合作,投稿)↖(^ω^)↗
知乎:
这种病,让女人化妆只化右脸,男人刮胡子只刮半边👉tRFNGoK
[这种病,让女人化妆只化右脸,男人刮胡子只刮半边👉tRFNGoK ]
发现更大的世界
卢健生:
东欧客户亲自飞来香港,购买@ZCAM S Pro影视级VR相机,我不收卡他又没有美金,我说那就给港币吧,对方马上去ATM机取,我数钱数到手软![笑cry] tRuOpYhN
[Eastern Europe customers personally fly to Hong Kong and buy @ ZCAM S Pro video VR camera, I dont accept card he no dollars, I said that to hk, the other party immediately go to the ATM machine, I was to be! [laughing cry] tRuOpYhN]
Z CAM, CEO
优酷:
#这就是灌篮# 怪球手化身蜘蛛侠点爆球场,@街球手艾弗钢 的鬼魅打法你喜欢吗?投一个进一个,吓SHI个人喽!
tRFNl
[# # this is dunk blame golfers incarnation spider-man point detonation stadium, @ the ghosts of street player ivor steel style do you like it? Cast into a, frighten SHI personal! < br > tRFNl]
新浪新闻客户端:
【阿不都分周琦++ 男篮胜伊朗摘亚运金牌】北京时间月日,雅加达亚运会男篮决赛,中国队与伊朗队展开最后的冠军争夺。中国男篮外线全面爆发,球队在次节最多落后分的情况下上演逆转高潮,最终他们以-战胜伊朗男篮,时隔八年再夺亚运会男篮金牌的同时也成功报四年前仁川亚运会失利的一箭...全文: m.weibo
[【 abdul points housekeeper + + team wins Iran picking Asian games gold medal 】 Beijing time June , Asian games mens basketball finals in Jakarta, the Chinese team in the final championship against Iran. Outbreak of the Chinese mens basketball team the perimeter, the team in the case of most backward time quarter backs, they eventually beat Iran - in mens basketball team, eight years to win the Asian games gold medal in mens basketball team at the same time also successfully to incheon Asian games four years ago of an arrow... The full text m. eibo]
只想做一只人见人爱的客户端
ZAKER:
【阿不都分 男篮逆转伊朗摘亚运金牌】 重登亚洲之巅!中国男篮复仇伊朗男篮,时隔年再次获得亚运会冠军;中国全场命中记三分,阿不都沙拉木砍下分>详情 tRFNJo
[【 abdul points Mens basketball team reversed Iran to pick the top of the Asian games gold medal 】 back in Asia! The Chinese mens basketball team revenge Iranian mens basketball team, after years of Asian games championship again; China hit a record three points, abdul salad wood cut points > tRFNJo for details]
传递价值资讯:myzaker
优酷:
#这就是灌篮# 第二期上线!
天才少年@大禹童童ZYT 单挑@郭艾伦 结果出人意料!
球员@James_大东 竟是承包了@李易峰 安全感的男人!
戳链接看正片,一大波球员小哥哥即将来袭!@这就是灌篮
tRFNwhY
[# # this is dunk the second phase of the on-line! < br > boy genius @ yu tong tong ZYT heads-up @ pg result unexpectedly! < br > player @ James_ cable was contracted for @ li yi feng security man! < br > stamp links to the main picture, a great player little brother is about to hit! @ < br > this is dunk tRFNwhY]
刘彦斌:
如果你对自己的股票有把握,那么鸡蛋就可以放在一个篮子里。
[If you are sure of their shares, then the eggs can be placed in a basket. ]
刘彦斌:
投资股票,风险控制永远放在第一位!这是真理!
[Never invest in stocks, risk control in the first place! This is the truth! ]
猫扑:
【不愿打胎 身怀六甲的她竟被狠心丈夫丢在高速公路上】小朱与丈夫已经生育了 个女儿,现在怀上了第 胎。日上午她原本是随丈夫去市区的医院做产检,但丈夫在上高速后,便不停地打电话联系市区一些小医院咨询打胎事宜。 他用带我做产检的名义,想要带我去打胎,我怎么受得了?! 于是她和丈夫发生...全文: m.weibo
[【 dont want to abortion Pregnant she was cruel husband lost on the highway 】 xiao zhu family and her husband have a daughter, now pregnant with the child. Morning she was with her husband to go to the downtown hospital for prenatal, but her husband after high-speed, he kept calling the city a few small hospital consulting abortion. He took me to do in the name of the prenatal and want to take me to abortion, how can I handle it? ! So she and her husband... The full text m. eibo]
猫扑网唯一指定官方微博。私信开放投稿、爆料。 商务合作请联系微信:mopxmt
新浪新闻客户端:
【昆明一城中村居民楼凌晨突发火灾 致人死亡人受伤】月日,云南昆明,居民楼发生火灾,致人死亡人受伤。居民乐先生介绍,该楼住户多为外来务工人员,起火原因疑似楼停放的电动车起火。据西山区政府通报称,除人不幸遇难外,名居民受伤已入院救治。tRFCKYuB @新京报我们视频
[The village in kunming city residential building emergency fire in the morning Deadly wounded] month, kunming, yunnan, residential building fires, kill people were injured. Mr Le residents, mostly migrant workers, building residents parked electric fire suspected cause of the fire floor. , according to the mountain west conference government in addition to the people killed, injured people have been admitted to hospital treatment. We video tRFCKYuB @ the Beijing news]
只想做一只人见人爱的客户端
优酷:
#想不到这么酷#昨天经历了总裁居、暖男居、运动居、学长居的四重美颜暴击后,大家的心脏现在还好吗?[偷笑]但你该不会以为我们只有这些?当然还有“隐藏彩蛋”等你来找!打开优酷APP,搜索“朱一龙加班”,先来看看霸道总裁#朱一龙[超话]#还有什么话想对你说!#优酷VIP会员六周年#
[# # surprisingly so cool yesterday has experienced the President, and sunshine boy r, r, crit is senior in four heavy skin care, everyones heart now ok? [laughing] but you should not think that we only have these? And of course hidden eggs waiting for you to find! Open the youtube APP, search Zhu Yilong overwork, lets look at arbitrary President # Zhu Yilong [ultra words] # still have what words want to say to you! Sixth anniversary # # youku VIP members]
汽车之家:
#家家新闻##成都车展#【超款新车 成都车展首发上市新车汇总】今年的成都车展依旧火爆,虽然量级不及北上广车展,但是各个车企还是为大家带来了不少新车,从月日媒体日的新车发布来看,共有超过款新车或者改款换代车型登场。其中就有奥迪QL、宝马X、雷克萨斯UX一类的重点车型。好了,下面...全文: m.weibo
[# every news # # # chengdu auto show the new car Chengdu auto show to debut new summary 】 this year chengdu motor show is still hot, although the order of magnitude less than auto show, but the car companies to bring us a lot of new cars, from the perspective of the new release of media day February nd, there are more than car or change generation models. Including audi, BMW, lexus UX X QL type of key models. Ok, here... The full text m. eibo]
汽车之家为广大汽车消费者提供买车、用车、养车及与汽车生活相关的全程服务,以全面、专业、可信赖、高互动性的内容,多层次、多维度地影响最广泛的汽车消费者,是中国最具价值的互联网汽车营销平台。
微博时尚:
是哪个伟人说过来着?“国货早晚得崛起!
[What a great man said to come over? The Chinese rise sooner or later.]
微博时尚专注于微博时尚美妆、珠宝设计、服装设计等领域
小浪同学爱吐槽:
【房东没有支付宝 交租不成挨一刀】小孟反映,他去交房租,想用支付宝转账,房东却要求现金,后来双方发生争执,他去敲房东的门,对方拎了把刀出来……房东的妻子说,老伴岁,的确不会用支付宝。当天是小孟话说的难听才吵起来。后来老伴回家吃饭,小孟还在外面一直敲门…… tRFCosRe ...全文: m.weibo
[The landlord did not pay treasure Pay no rent 】 Mr Meng reflected by the knife, he went to pay the rent, want to use pay treasure to transfer, the landlord is asking for cash, then both parties in a dispute over him to knock on the door of the landlord, the other carrying the knife out... The landlords wife, said his wife, do not use alipay. The day is Mr Meng words hard to quarrel. Then his wife home for dinner, Mr Meng also has been knocking at the door outside... TRFCosRe... The full text m. eibo]
国事家事天下事,事事关心。
微博位置:
年月日 点分左右,郑州市金水区国际会展中心偶遇明星王俊凯,详细内容请点击 tRFCdPPt
[(date) (month) (year) dotted around, zhengzhou jinshui district chun-kai wang encounter star international convention and exhibition center, details please click tRFCdPPt]
发微博带上“位置”,在冰冷的地点留下你温暖的故事。投诉建议 fujia@staff.weibo
优酷:
#想不到这么酷#周一上午点大家可能没空理你[挖鼻]@优酷VIP会员你成功【补货】了我的心,我们周一上午点见。[doge]#想不到这么酷#
[# # surprisingly so cool points on Monday morning we can allow you (nose) @ youku VIP member you succeed to replenishment the my heart, we meet on Monday morning. [doge] # # surprisingly so cool]
当当李国庆:
感谢昆山公安认定是正当防卫,不负刑事责任!这一判例为对侵犯者一大震慑!@当当李国庆看了视频,对死者深感痛惜。但我的观点:这是典型正当防卫,而且都不是防卫过当!希望有高水平律师站出来为弱势者辩护。希望法官主持公道。希望大家转发声援
[Thanks to kunshan police identified is justifiable defence, criminal responsibility! This case is a big shock for offenders! @ dangdang watched video Mr Li, for the dead is deeply regretted. But in my opinion it is a typical justifiable defence, and are not excessive defense!!!! Hope to have high levels of lawyer stand up for the underdog. I hope the judge justice. Hope you forward]
我口无遮拦,多有得罪,请海涵
小浪同学爱吐槽:
深受便秘困扰?悄悄转走这支萌萌画风的便便体操,只要分钟,悄悄转走没人会发现。[二哈]tRFSsSBp @人人视频
[Beset by constipation? Quietly transferred the sprout of painting style of feces gymnastics, as long as the minutes, quietly turned away no one will be found. [two ha] tRFSsSBp @ all video]
国事家事天下事,事事关心。
巴曙松:
#V+月刊#这是一份专门为你整理的月刊,上个月的所有V+内容创作都在这里啦,好的内容不要错过,各位VPlus会员朋友们快来点开看看吧~『合辑』tRFCmpr
[# # V + issue of it is a specialized monthly magazine, you organize all the V + content creation last month here, dont miss the good content, everybody VPlus member opens at friends come to see ~ tRFCmpr collection]
金融学者、博士生导师,中国银行业协会首席经济学家、哥伦比亚大学商学院高级访问学者
新浪新闻客户端:
【为这位妈妈点赞 开学当天教双胞胎萌娃文明排队[赞]】日,湖北武汉地铁号线中山公园站,正值开学当天,一位妈妈带着双胞胎坐地铁时,看到孩子们没排队,就指着地上的“小脚丫”,让他们踩着“小脚丫”整齐排队候车。这时,另一个小朋友看到后,也跟着一起排队。@时间视频 tRFxyYPL
[【 thumb up for the mother school day to teach the twins Eva civilization queuing [great]], hubei wuhan metro line zhongshan park station, during the school day, a mother took her twin by subway, see the children didnt line up, concerning the little feet on the ground, let them on the little feet waiting in line. Then, after another kid see, also follow line up together. @ time video tRFxyYPL]
只想做一只人见人爱的客户端
猫扑:
【贵阳一小区多只宠物狗被“团灭”,草地曾出现神秘米饭】月日,贵阳天誉城业主徐先生家中的宠物狗无缘无故抽搐死去。随后,业主群中多名业主反映,他们的宠物狗也相继口吐白沫、抽搐后死亡。经统计,受害的宠物狗已达多只。徐先生等不少业主怀疑有人恶意投毒,有业主还在小区草丛中发现疑似含...全文: m.weibo
[The guiyang dog more than a village was wipe, mysteriously appear once the rice 】 month day, guiyang city days reputation pet dog owner Mr Xu home tic die for no apparent reason. Then, more than the owner of the owners reflect, also have their pet dog foaming at the mouth, convulsions after death. By the statistics, the victims pet dog has amounted to more than. Many owners suspected a malicious poisoning, such as Mr Xu have owners also found in the village grass suspected to contain... The full text m. eibo]
猫扑网唯一指定官方微博。私信开放投稿、爆料。 商务合作请联系微信:mopxmt
小浪同学爱吐槽:
乐高的团队用一百万块乐高积木拼出了一台布加迪威龙超级跑车,甚至连引擎也是乐高积木拼成的。tRFfysx @NowThis
[乐高的团队用一百万块乐高积木拼出了一台布加迪威龙超级跑的车,甚至连引擎也是乐高积木拼成的.tRFfysx @NowThis]
国事家事天下事,事事关心。
微博搞笑排行榜:
分钟省下块的秘密,省下就是赚到啦!#网购有瘾#tRFwUt
[Minutes to save the blocks secret, save is to earn! # # online addiction tRFwUt]
微博搞笑中心!每天搜罗最搞笑最好玩的微博。关注我,获得每日新鲜笑料!(欢迎合作,投稿)↖(^ω^)↗
新浪新闻客户端:
【男子等红灯时睡着 民警近分钟又敲窗又破窗男子仍在打鼾】月日,浙江温州,一男子喝酒后开车回家,行至十字路口等红灯时渐渐进入酣睡状态。@温州交警 到达后,敲击了十几分钟的车窗无果,决定破窗救人。从敲窗到破窗,将近分钟时间里,车外一片吵闹,而男子则在车内毫无反应。@新京报我们视频 ...全文: m.weibo
[The police man when the red light to sleep nearly minutes and knocked at the window and broken Windows man still snoring 】 month day, wenzhou, zhejiang province, a man driving home after drinking, when the red light gradually into a deep sleep state to the crossroads. @ wenzhou traffic police arrived, tapping the minutes of Windows to nothing, save people decided to break the window. From the knock to the broken window, nearly minutes, a noisy outside, while the man in the car with no response. @ Beijing news we video... The full text m. eibo]
只想做一只人见人爱的客户端
当当李国庆:
学历作假、商业诈骗....福布斯中国榜上的精英究竟有多少骗子?
tRFClZE
[Academic fraud, commercial fraud... How much liar on the Forbes list of Chinas elite? < br > tRFClZE]
我口无遮拦,多有得罪,请海涵